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THE ANGRY RED PLANET - 3 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1960 American International Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Dr. Iris Ryan - Nicknamed "Irish," she is here to scream at all the scary monsters. Her entire face unhinges. I swear the woman is part snake.
  • Colonel Thomas O'Bannion - Mission commander who starts putting the moves on Iris before the ship is even out of orbit.
  • Chief Warrant Officer Sam Jacobs - Gleeful moron with a freeze-ray gun, spends most of his time lavishing affection on it until the amoeba eats him.
  • Professor Theodore Gettell - We are informed he is the spaceship's designer and an expert on such things, then watch him wander around with a pipe. Dies of a heart attack or stroke.
  • General George Treegar - Why in the heck was a military officer in command of this?
  • The Bat-Rat-Spider - Give some disturbed kid a chainsaw, thread, and the named animals. He will make one for you. (You need a lobster too.)
  • The Carnivorous Plant - Tries to eat Iris, they chop her free and move to a safe distance, then Sam freezes it out of spite.
  • The Giant Amoeba - The largest single celled organism ever, this thing must be a hundred yards across. Col O'Bannion rewires the radar to fry it with electricity.
  • The Martians - The galactic equivalent of farmer Joe with his shotgun, don't like no humans trespassing on der property!

Buy It!

The Plot: 

A film, from 1959, which deals with the exploration of Mars is going to be cannon fodder so I'll stick with common sense aspects. Two months after it was presumed lost on Mars, the rocketship MR-1 is discovered in a stationary orbit around Earth, but attempts to raise the crew via radio are useless. Two months? Pathfinder took seven months just to reach Mars, who made this ship, Ferrari? General Treegar and the other experts (No meeting with the President and the brightest minds available?) decide to land the craft under remote control. What followed left me dumbfounded, a launch - in reverse, as they land this enormous rocket with no problem. I'm pretty sure that part cheeses off the Mars Polar Lander fellows to no end. Two survivors are on board, Iris and Colonel O'Bannion, the latter's arm is covered with a strange growth. She is finally able to relate the mission's fateful journey, including having gravity the entire flight! You heard me, the astronauts walk around their spacious craft under normal gravity, which is explained as "constant acceleration." It's almost as if they were actually on the set of some movie studio... ...reality is a gossamer thing I tell you. After landing they spend several minutes looking out viewports and describing the sights to us, then Iris sees a scary face in the window and screams. Everyone suits up and goes outside to explore, boy are strange things waiting for them: carnivorous plants, huge bat-rat-spider-lobster things, a giant amoeba, and the Martians themselves. How they mistook the bat-rat-spider-lobster beast for a patch of trees is still a mystery, but common sense fled me (Early on and under a hail of blows from the film.) anyway.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • The Pentagon has screen doors.
  • A rocket landing looks just like a rocket taking off, except in reverse.
  • Shifting desert sand dunes make excellent landing pads.
  • Earth is orbited by deadly radioactive meteorites. (I do not mean small particles, I mean glowing hunks of rock.)
  • Palm trees grow on Mars.
  • If it looks like a man-eating plant then it probably is a man-eating plant.
  • Having your eyes flash frozen sucks.
  • Nobody likes us. (Us humans that is.)

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 2 mins - Is it called the X-1 or the MR-1?
  • 3 mins - They flew to Nevada in a B-52? (A bomber.) Why not a passenger aircraft?
  • 16 mins - That is a darn roomy spaceship.
  • 27 mins - Why is she cleaning everything, it wasn't clean when they first packed the gear?
  • 32 mins - Stole those spacesuits from the local service station didn't you?
  • 42 mins - I really think that their helmets are open, no faceplates. (I'm right you know.)
  • 66 mins - Maybe you should check out the top of the tree...
  • 77 mins - Even through this crazy red effect I can tell that is a drawing.
  • 84 mins - This is the first point I can confirm one of my suspicions, their control room is where the engines should be...

Quotes: 

  • Sam: "If those Martians are out there they must invisible."
  • Sam: "Some baby, that rat-bat-spider nightmare, huh?"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note angryred1.wav Control: "Stand by to check interior radiation."
Treegar: "Hold it, look!"
Control: "Recovery squads, hold!"
Treegar: "Someone's alive!"
Guy: "The girl!"
Treegar: "To hell with radiation, let's go!"
Green Music Note angryred2.wav O'Bannion: "Mars, the angry red planet."
Iris: "Sounds so foreboding, doesn't it?"
Green Music Note angryred3.wav Sam: "Well, should we go out and claim the planet in the name of Brooklyn?"
Green Music Note angryred4.wav The Martians laying down the law.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipangryred1.mpg - 2.4m
The Bat-Rat-Spider! Even with the effects available when this movie was made he is one of the more memorable creatures to ever come out of Hollywood. My humble opinion of course.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 ... 8
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #1. Posted on January 31, 2000, 11:20:41 PM by
  The rat-bat-spider-crab is still one of the most effective monsters of all time. The strange motion it makes and the weird lighting combine to make it somehow seem really alive. It's menacing snarl and plodding walk are truely nightmarish. Of course, the movie that surrounds it is almost perfectly cheesy, and if viewed more than once a year proves tedious. But the spider-bat is truely a work of art. It is unique; who ever saw it and forogt it? Is this not one of the true criteria of a masterpiece? If it were filmed any other way than in the strange red glow that imbues it, it would just be another piece of Hollywood schlock. But the way that it is will make it a classic for all time. There is something in its being a marionette that gives it a somehow natural movement that would have been impossible to achieve any other way. The sounds, too, add to the experience to make the whole scene authentically otherworldly. I remember seeing the film as a boy and I have never forgotten the clomping footfalls that it makes when Dumb Dora hacks off its leg spike. This scene, and the ensuing few munites, are deliciously and eerily delightful, and are fully equivalent with the great opening scenes of the fully matuered Alien
in the film of that name.
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Rick Oliver
This film provides an invaluable lesson for all aspiring female astronauts: Girls, when preparing for your first EVA, don't forget your purse!
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #3. Posted on February 20, 2000, 11:11:02 PM by James Hepler
What the hell is up with that women's jaw?  I can't believe I didn't notice that the first time I saw it.  Sheesh.
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by David
I saw this movie when it was released at a Saturday matinee.  I was 8 or 9 at the time. I thought it was scary and cool.  I rented it a few years back and showed it to my daughter when she was about the same age. She thought it was cheesy.  That's progress.
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #5. Posted on April 11, 2000, 02:54:27 PM by Capt.Confederacy
Say what you will about "Angry Red Planet" but the Bat-Rat-Spider creature still RULES as a great piece of FX.
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #6. Posted on July 16, 2000, 05:36:08 AM by Tony
Yes, I also think this movie is kinda cheesy seeing it now, after all these years, but back then in the 50's, I'm sure it scared the hell outta alot of folks! The bat/rat monster is definitely the highlight of the film, and it is still effective even today in my opinion. But it does make you wonder why they didn't see the whole creature when they first approached its legs! Oh well, you can't win them all. But for all its goofiness and absurdity, its still fun to watch on a late night!
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #7. Posted on August 17, 2000, 12:26:56 PM by Chadzilla
You know who that Bat/Rat/Spider monster thingie had a HUGe effect on as a kid?  Stephen King, really.  Just go out and read his short novel The Mist, the BRS makes a cameo, of course you only see its legs, but it's still there.
The Angry Red Planet
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Corby Waste
I just want to say that I'm a forty-something year old now working for the Mars Program and I think Angry Red Planet is by far the best old sci-fi movie about Mars. For me, personally, I only wish that when we started getting pictures back from the real Mars, that they would have been anywhere near as cool as what that movie showed. Also, I thought it was incredibly cool to recently see a small version of the movie poster on one of my major Mars scientists wall at a NASA center that will remain nameless. I don't want mention his name since he probably would prefer not stay anonymous but I wanted to let the Angry Red Planet's fans know that you have company in some very high places. And you never know....what if life DOES exist on Mars? What if it's still there underground? Anyone seeing the movie would definitely think twice before volunteering for the first expedition. Maybe we better hope that it was just science fiction!

I really appreciate seeing your webpage on it,

Corby J. Waste



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Lesson Learned:
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