Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT


BARBARELLA - 3 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1968 Dino de Laurentiis Cinematografica.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Barbarella - Jane Fonda! Ted Turner's little communist is sort of an intergalactic special agent.
  • Duran Duran - HEHEHE! (Sorry, his name gives me the giggles, and according to Leonard Maltin that is where the band got it from.) Mad scientist intent on conquering the universe, generally out to cause hate and discontent. Eaten by the Magmous.
  • Pygar - Last of the ornithothropes, he's an Angel, literally.
  • The Great Tyrant - Attractive and evil ruler of Lythion, she likes the word "pretty."
  • Dildano - Inept revolutionary who wishes to overthrow the evil empire, zapped into the fourth dimension.
  • Professor Ping - Kind scientist who assists the unfortunates banished into the labyrinth, also zapped.
  • Marcan - Barbarian guy in charge of herding wild children (Now that's daycare.), he saves Barbarella from the evil kiddies and introduces her to some old fashioned loving...
  • Alfie - The ship's computer.
  • The Magmous - A presence which surrounds the city and feeds off evil, it appears to be a huge lava lamp.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Ho Chi Minh's favorite exercise queen stars in this amazing piece of science fiction, oh yes, Jane Fonda. What really amazes me is the movie's PG rating, considering the fact that Barbarella's antigravity breasts go bouncing through a few scenes sans clothing. (Plus there's another woman hanging from leather straps later on.) Don't try and give me all that, "It was the 60's." crap either. Our heroine is dispatched to prevent a new weapon from destroying the harmony of the known universe. If one thing was threatening harmony it is this movie's soundtrack, I was toturing the cat by humming snippets to it. (Kitty actually fled the room.) After her spaceship crashes things really get weird, she encounters wild children, leather robots, Pygar, the Great Tyrant, and carnivorous parakeets. When Barbarella finally locates Duran Duran (Hehe! Sorry...) the scientist is a madman, seeking to conquer the universe and give her a fatal orgasm. I didn't stutter my friends, he straps the woman into a strange "pleasure organ/piano" thing and plays a tune which should kill her with ecstasy. It doesn't work, Barbarella shorts out the machine and it bursts into flames. Soon after this the Great Tyrant sets free the Magmous and all heck breaks loose, the end. If that wasn't warning enough I'm telling you now: This movie is all over the place and insanely groovy. After the shock of watching Barbarella strip out of her spacesuit in zero gravity (She's obviously laying on plate glass with the camera above her.), I noticed the red shag carpet covering the spaceship's interior top to bottom. For a state of the art spacecraft her ship had some issues, like the acid trip view screen and a disturbing habit of colliding with solid objects, like a planet. Let's not forget this is the future and all the messy pleasure associated with that disgusting habit of sexual intercourse has been overcome, now you just take a pill and hold hands... ...until Barbarella gets her pipes cleaned by Marcan, then she does agree "Wider is..." I mean, "The old ways are better."

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Orange shag carpet is the ultimate in spaceship decor.
  • Stingrays are used as draft horses on other worlds.
  • Sadistic children scream like a flock of seagulls.
  • In the future sexual gratification is achieved by taking a pill and holding hands. (My thoughts exactly...)
  • Orchids are not very filling.
  • Angels make nests.
  • Public suicide chambers need to be clearly marked.
  • Parakeets are carnivorous.
  • Having some woman smoke me in a bong is the stuff nightmares are made of.
  • The world will be swallowed by an evil lava lamp monster.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! (Wait, this is PG?)
  • 17 mins - Earth's number one agent was just captured by two eight year old girls.
  • 19 mins - These weird kids are feeding her to mechanical dolls.
  • 43 mins - It's a flying sundae of death!
  • 47 mins - Lady, how exactly do you plan on hiding his wings?
  • 64 mins - Should have paid the electric bill Dildano...
  • 72 mins - Now that's a password.
  • 76 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 77 mins - Is there a guy in that bong?
  • 79 mins - Duran Duran (Hehe!) has her in this weird piano/organ thing, it's sucking her clothes off... ...and, um, doing other things.

Quotes: 

  • The President of Earth: "What I must tell you is not only grave, it's a secret."
    Barbarella: "A secret?"
  • Great Tyrant: "I'm also the Great Tyrant."
    Barbarella: "Well, that's nice."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note barbarella1.wav Marcan: "Barbarella!"
Green Music Note barbarella2.wav Barbarella: "Are you an Angel?"
Pygar: "I'm Pygar, the last of the ornithothropes."
Green Music Note barbarella3.wav Great Tyrant: "You're very pretty pretty pretty."
Barbarella: "My name isn't Pretty Pretty it's Barbarella."
Green Music Note barbarella4.wav Barbarella: "I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Duran Duran."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage
ImageImage


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbarbarella1.mpg - 2.1m
Pygar and Barbarella battle evil sundaes, it goes without saying that the enemy were not very well armed. The angel is out of shape and she is using a hand weapon...

 Leave a commentEXTRASBuy the movie 

Share It!Buy the movieIMDB Logo
Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review
Digg This ReviewDigg This Review
Buy it from Amazon.com (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited (United States)

Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... 10
Barbarella
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Polka hottie
Ah yes.... a classic "B" movie. I agree it shouldve been "R" but actually, "R" wasn't around--- it was "M"-for "mature" (if you wanna see it all...get the Original European Version)As for the plot, I forgot what it was..oh yes Go seek out Duran Duran (hehe...great band too) and save universe. But it is clear that its all about SEX....:) Jane Fonda and some hairy guy in a hairysuit, then its Jane Fonda falls for a blind angel. Lastly, she "blows" up some dude's---oops Duran Duran's "Orgasmatic"
ah classic:) Did I mention the outfits? A designer made the costumes (which every scene Barb. has a different outfit on...well er "bikini"...As for the psycho children with badmanners....let them play on their "iceskates"--get it..REALLY bad PUN...they were "ICE" skates (as in Manna reys, etc...)AND the DRUGS....the big bong in the background (Queens layer area) went really well with the shag carpet and wooly walls:)...LASTLY, yes it's based on a book/comic strip by Jean-Claude Forest.  
Barbarella
Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by ronaldt49
  Having gone to the theatre to see this in high school(
Yep, I'm up there!!) as I recall it may have been an R rating back then. That was in the days of P,M,R,X ratings. Things were also stricter. What was R back then will probably be PG now. Remember that Clockwork Orange and Midnight Cowboy were X initially. They are almost worthy of Sesame Street,now. I recall that while viewing the beginning few minutes that I thought she would actually have undergarments on. Nope!! Was I surprised (and pleased) to see all she had on was a Smile. This was also before she went to Vietnam, so opinions of her changed drastically in the not to distant future.
Barbarella
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Loof
I too saw this film as a youngster I was about 11.  And I also was traumatised by it.  I have been badly scared by it for life.  Ever since seeing that film at the beginning of my adolescence I have been unable to look at an attractive, scantily clad woman with out becoming immediately sexually aroused.  In fact the women don’t even have to be particularly attractive.  Resulting in spending most of the rest of my life so far in an semi-permanent state of sexual arousal.

Long live Barbarella.
Barbarella
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Joe Stalin
I was 15 years old when I saw this movie on T.V. I was at my aunt's place. She walked in and thought I was watching porn. Since then I have come to learn that [Hanoi]Jane Fonda is a traitor to America due to her actions during the Viet Nam war. I think we should strap that b***h to a chair and force her to watch her own crap movie until her frigging eyes bleed.
Barbarella
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Taika-Kim
This is THE ultimate space-funk-groove experience!

The costumes change for about every scene (after getting torn to pieces for some reason or another), and are mostly SO cool :)

Hmm, people of the future smoke guys swimming in bongs?

The visual style is just perfect. And the soundtrack too. And the carpet interiors of le space ship...

Ánd, oh, btw I saw this in a movie theatre last summer. Wow. Now that was a culture experience ;)

And the leader of the underground resistance, the dildo-whatever is apparently Juhan af Gran's brother, which figures... :) (if you didn'y get this one, you're propably not Finnish<g>)
Barbarella
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Jo
IT's my favorite movie! But some things in the review need to be corrected: it IS Durand-Durand (with the d's), the Mathmos (not the magmos) is the evil lava-lamp like monster-liquid-life-form-thingy, and what is the talk about "Lythion"? the Great Tyrant (whose 'obsession' with the word 'pretty' is actually the nick-name she gives barbarella) rules over the city of Sogo (a reference to the biblical cities of Sodom and Gomorra), outside the Ice and Forests of Wier, on the planet 16 in the system Talseti. I see no talk of "Lythion".

Anyways I believe that it is the best movie ever and Jane Fonda is the only one that can play it so well. The music is just too perfect, it adds to the acid-trip like effects.

Oh yeah, if I had a futuricistic state of the art spaceship with a psycedelic viewscreen, I would want it to have orange shag carpeting from top to bottom, also.
Barbarella
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Janet
I also saw this as a child the first time around 1978.  I remember I had the chicken pox and we had cable and I watched it as my mother was in the kitchen doing something.  I just remember thinking I can't believe she is letting my watch this, it seemed like the dirtiest thing I had ever seen.  As soon as I went back to school I had to tell all my friends about it, and then we tried reinacting some of the scenes!  After that I have always been infatuated with it.  On my honeymoon I remember the first night it was playing and I made my husbad watch it.  He was not as impressed.  I've rented it on and off since then, and watched it the other day with a new boyfriend and he said "no wonder you are like you are now"!  I thought it was definetly cheesy but I thought it was great!
Barbarella
Reply #32. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Pygar
I just love it when people talk about how much better the unrated, Originial Uncut European version of this film is... and then never say WHERE TO FIND IT!!!

Anyone know where I can find it? While I am at it... I am also looking for any behind the scenes pics I can find of the spaceship (inside, outside, or model) and the Excessive Machine. I am also on the lookout for pics of Mark Hand's Catchman sleigh. I am a scale modeler and feel these desgns need to be made into models! But the spaceship is either seen at a distance or always from the same 3/4 view, the same with the Excessive Machine.
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... 10
 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.