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BARBARELLA - 3 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1968 Dino de Laurentiis Cinematografica.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Barbarella - Jane Fonda! Ted Turner's little communist is sort of an intergalactic special agent.
  • Duran Duran - HEHEHE! (Sorry, his name gives me the giggles, and according to Leonard Maltin that is where the band got it from.) Mad scientist intent on conquering the universe, generally out to cause hate and discontent. Eaten by the Magmous.
  • Pygar - Last of the ornithothropes, he's an Angel, literally.
  • The Great Tyrant - Attractive and evil ruler of Lythion, she likes the word "pretty."
  • Dildano - Inept revolutionary who wishes to overthrow the evil empire, zapped into the fourth dimension.
  • Professor Ping - Kind scientist who assists the unfortunates banished into the labyrinth, also zapped.
  • Marcan - Barbarian guy in charge of herding wild children (Now that's daycare.), he saves Barbarella from the evil kiddies and introduces her to some old fashioned loving...
  • Alfie - The ship's computer.
  • The Magmous - A presence which surrounds the city and feeds off evil, it appears to be a huge lava lamp.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Ho Chi Minh's favorite exercise queen stars in this amazing piece of science fiction, oh yes, Jane Fonda. What really amazes me is the movie's PG rating, considering the fact that Barbarella's antigravity breasts go bouncing through a few scenes sans clothing. (Plus there's another woman hanging from leather straps later on.) Don't try and give me all that, "It was the 60's." crap either. Our heroine is dispatched to prevent a new weapon from destroying the harmony of the known universe. If one thing was threatening harmony it is this movie's soundtrack, I was toturing the cat by humming snippets to it. (Kitty actually fled the room.) After her spaceship crashes things really get weird, she encounters wild children, leather robots, Pygar, the Great Tyrant, and carnivorous parakeets. When Barbarella finally locates Duran Duran (Hehe! Sorry...) the scientist is a madman, seeking to conquer the universe and give her a fatal orgasm. I didn't stutter my friends, he straps the woman into a strange "pleasure organ/piano" thing and plays a tune which should kill her with ecstasy. It doesn't work, Barbarella shorts out the machine and it bursts into flames. Soon after this the Great Tyrant sets free the Magmous and all heck breaks loose, the end. If that wasn't warning enough I'm telling you now: This movie is all over the place and insanely groovy. After the shock of watching Barbarella strip out of her spacesuit in zero gravity (She's obviously laying on plate glass with the camera above her.), I noticed the red shag carpet covering the spaceship's interior top to bottom. For a state of the art spacecraft her ship had some issues, like the acid trip view screen and a disturbing habit of colliding with solid objects, like a planet. Let's not forget this is the future and all the messy pleasure associated with that disgusting habit of sexual intercourse has been overcome, now you just take a pill and hold hands... ...until Barbarella gets her pipes cleaned by Marcan, then she does agree "Wider is..." I mean, "The old ways are better."

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Orange shag carpet is the ultimate in spaceship decor.
  • Stingrays are used as draft horses on other worlds.
  • Sadistic children scream like a flock of seagulls.
  • In the future sexual gratification is achieved by taking a pill and holding hands. (My thoughts exactly...)
  • Orchids are not very filling.
  • Angels make nests.
  • Public suicide chambers need to be clearly marked.
  • Parakeets are carnivorous.
  • Having some woman smoke me in a bong is the stuff nightmares are made of.
  • The world will be swallowed by an evil lava lamp monster.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! (Wait, this is PG?)
  • 17 mins - Earth's number one agent was just captured by two eight year old girls.
  • 19 mins - These weird kids are feeding her to mechanical dolls.
  • 43 mins - It's a flying sundae of death!
  • 47 mins - Lady, how exactly do you plan on hiding his wings?
  • 64 mins - Should have paid the electric bill Dildano...
  • 72 mins - Now that's a password.
  • 76 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 77 mins - Is there a guy in that bong?
  • 79 mins - Duran Duran (Hehe!) has her in this weird piano/organ thing, it's sucking her clothes off... ...and, um, doing other things.

Quotes: 

  • The President of Earth: "What I must tell you is not only grave, it's a secret."
    Barbarella: "A secret?"
  • Great Tyrant: "I'm also the Great Tyrant."
    Barbarella: "Well, that's nice."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note barbarella1.wav Marcan: "Barbarella!"
Green Music Note barbarella2.wav Barbarella: "Are you an Angel?"
Pygar: "I'm Pygar, the last of the ornithothropes."
Green Music Note barbarella3.wav Great Tyrant: "You're very pretty pretty pretty."
Barbarella: "My name isn't Pretty Pretty it's Barbarella."
Green Music Note barbarella4.wav Barbarella: "I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Duran Duran."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbarbarella1.mpg - 2.1m
Pygar and Barbarella battle evil sundaes, it goes without saying that the enemy were not very well armed. The angel is out of shape and she is using a hand weapon...

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 6 7 [8] 9 10
Re: Barbarella
Reply #57. Posted on April 05, 2007, 10:11:50 PM by Torgo
The current PG rated DVD is actually the complete uncut, uncensored version of the film.

Jane Fonda has never looked hotter.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #58. Posted on April 09, 2007, 05:17:49 AM by Alain
I am 99% sure that the villian's name in the movie is actually Durand Durand.  Duran Duran DID take their name from this film (they have been quoted numerous times over the years stating this) but left off the extra d's.

I will have to go home and check the credits to be 100% postive about the name, but just wanted to make this mention!






The real name is Durand Durand ( Durand being a french last name ) and has nothin to do with the band Duran duran
Re: Barbarella
Reply #59. Posted on April 15, 2007, 02:01:46 PM by BoyScoutKevin
I just thought I add that the scriptwriters for the most recent "Casino Royale" are working on a script for a remake of "Barbarella." To be out sometime next year.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #60. Posted on October 18, 2007, 10:29:15 PM by Torgo
I just thought I add that the scriptwriters for the most recent "Casino Royale" are working on a script for a remake of "Barbarella." To be out sometime next year.

I had heard that Robert Rodriguez was involved in directing the remake of Barbarella.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #61. Posted on January 05, 2008, 02:13:53 PM by Sara
My friend insisted I watch this movie, and as terrible as it was it was entertaining. The director wanted to make a sexy movie, but forgot that most people are not turned on by giant pianos. I think the last line of the film made it for me, combining plot holes, deus ex machina, hippiness, and a Broadway-style musical cue without the Broadway-style musical quality.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #62. Posted on January 10, 2008, 10:47:43 PM by chris conley
The guy who played pygar is john philip law who is recongnizable  to you mst3k fans as  diabolik and kalagan from space mutiny the first was a semi good movie the next was a cheesey mess.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #63. Posted on June 23, 2008, 12:47:53 AM by Cut 'n' Paste
Without a doubt, this is one of the most colourful movies ever.
There is an entire generation of men (now middle-aged) for whom the names "Jane Fonda" and "Barbarella" are synonymous, despite the fact that she has spent the rest of her career trying to live it down.

My estimate of budget allocations:
Ms Fonda's wardrobe/makeup : 40%
Everyone else's wardrobe : 30%
Sets : 20%
Special effects : 8%
Scripts, music and extras : 1.8%
Everything else that goes into making a film : 0.2%

Verdict : I still love this film, just for its total lack of any serious content.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #64. Posted on June 29, 2008, 12:12:04 AM by CheezeFlixz
Frankly I can't stand Jane Fonda, but she's smokin' hot in this film and therefore I have it.
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