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BARBARELLA - 3 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1968 Dino de Laurentiis Cinematografica.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Barbarella - Jane Fonda! Ted Turner's little communist is sort of an intergalactic special agent.
  • Duran Duran - HEHEHE! (Sorry, his name gives me the giggles, and according to Leonard Maltin that is where the band got it from.) Mad scientist intent on conquering the universe, generally out to cause hate and discontent. Eaten by the Magmous.
  • Pygar - Last of the ornithothropes, he's an Angel, literally.
  • The Great Tyrant - Attractive and evil ruler of Lythion, she likes the word "pretty."
  • Dildano - Inept revolutionary who wishes to overthrow the evil empire, zapped into the fourth dimension.
  • Professor Ping - Kind scientist who assists the unfortunates banished into the labyrinth, also zapped.
  • Marcan - Barbarian guy in charge of herding wild children (Now that's daycare.), he saves Barbarella from the evil kiddies and introduces her to some old fashioned loving...
  • Alfie - The ship's computer.
  • The Magmous - A presence which surrounds the city and feeds off evil, it appears to be a huge lava lamp.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Ho Chi Minh's favorite exercise queen stars in this amazing piece of science fiction, oh yes, Jane Fonda. What really amazes me is the movie's PG rating, considering the fact that Barbarella's antigravity breasts go bouncing through a few scenes sans clothing. (Plus there's another woman hanging from leather straps later on.) Don't try and give me all that, "It was the 60's." crap either. Our heroine is dispatched to prevent a new weapon from destroying the harmony of the known universe. If one thing was threatening harmony it is this movie's soundtrack, I was toturing the cat by humming snippets to it. (Kitty actually fled the room.) After her spaceship crashes things really get weird, she encounters wild children, leather robots, Pygar, the Great Tyrant, and carnivorous parakeets. When Barbarella finally locates Duran Duran (Hehe! Sorry...) the scientist is a madman, seeking to conquer the universe and give her a fatal orgasm. I didn't stutter my friends, he straps the woman into a strange "pleasure organ/piano" thing and plays a tune which should kill her with ecstasy. It doesn't work, Barbarella shorts out the machine and it bursts into flames. Soon after this the Great Tyrant sets free the Magmous and all heck breaks loose, the end. If that wasn't warning enough I'm telling you now: This movie is all over the place and insanely groovy. After the shock of watching Barbarella strip out of her spacesuit in zero gravity (She's obviously laying on plate glass with the camera above her.), I noticed the red shag carpet covering the spaceship's interior top to bottom. For a state of the art spacecraft her ship had some issues, like the acid trip view screen and a disturbing habit of colliding with solid objects, like a planet. Let's not forget this is the future and all the messy pleasure associated with that disgusting habit of sexual intercourse has been overcome, now you just take a pill and hold hands... ...until Barbarella gets her pipes cleaned by Marcan, then she does agree "Wider is..." I mean, "The old ways are better."

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Orange shag carpet is the ultimate in spaceship decor.
  • Stingrays are used as draft horses on other worlds.
  • Sadistic children scream like a flock of seagulls.
  • In the future sexual gratification is achieved by taking a pill and holding hands. (My thoughts exactly...)
  • Orchids are not very filling.
  • Angels make nests.
  • Public suicide chambers need to be clearly marked.
  • Parakeets are carnivorous.
  • Having some woman smoke me in a bong is the stuff nightmares are made of.
  • The world will be swallowed by an evil lava lamp monster.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT! (Wait, this is PG?)
  • 17 mins - Earth's number one agent was just captured by two eight year old girls.
  • 19 mins - These weird kids are feeding her to mechanical dolls.
  • 43 mins - It's a flying sundae of death!
  • 47 mins - Lady, how exactly do you plan on hiding his wings?
  • 64 mins - Should have paid the electric bill Dildano...
  • 72 mins - Now that's a password.
  • 76 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 77 mins - Is there a guy in that bong?
  • 79 mins - Duran Duran (Hehe!) has her in this weird piano/organ thing, it's sucking her clothes off... ...and, um, doing other things.

Quotes: 

  • The President of Earth: "What I must tell you is not only grave, it's a secret."
    Barbarella: "A secret?"
  • Great Tyrant: "I'm also the Great Tyrant."
    Barbarella: "Well, that's nice."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note barbarella1.wav Marcan: "Barbarella!"
Green Music Note barbarella2.wav Barbarella: "Are you an Angel?"
Pygar: "I'm Pygar, the last of the ornithothropes."
Green Music Note barbarella3.wav Great Tyrant: "You're very pretty pretty pretty."
Barbarella: "My name isn't Pretty Pretty it's Barbarella."
Green Music Note barbarella4.wav Barbarella: "I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Duran Duran."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbarbarella1.mpg - 2.1m
Pygar and Barbarella battle evil sundaes, it goes without saying that the enemy were not very well armed. The angel is out of shape and she is using a hand weapon...

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Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 7 8 [9] 10
Re: Barbarella
Reply #65. Posted on August 01, 2008, 02:06:45 PM by HarlotBug3
I've been thinking about renting this movie my entire life, sitting there next to all the other sci-fi movies rather than in the comedy section where it belongs.

I'm glad I waited till I was a young adult, because as much as I stressed my mother with my movie tastes, this one might have broken her. Who could explain to a child, even a teenager, that this movie was not just a product of someone's mind, but of the times they lived in?

I reject nostalgia, but Barbarella makes me envy those who saw it in its time, no matter how stoned or disgusted they were.

It must be seen and must be seen to be believed, if even then.

   
Re: Barbarella
Reply #66. Posted on December 22, 2008, 11:27:31 PM by FLU-BIRD
Im not a HANOI JANE fan she commited treason but as for those carniverous parakeets GO GET EM BY LITTLE FEATHERED BROTHERS KILL,KILL,KILL
Re: Barbarella
Reply #67. Posted on January 10, 2009, 02:33:45 PM by Steve
Is this a movie review site, or a political site?  Come on people!  How long are you going to dwell on Jane Fonda's self-admitted mistake in the 1960's?  Comment after comment after comment . . . . . geeze!  Get a life.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #68. Posted on January 10, 2009, 06:16:07 PM by Andrew
Is this a movie review site, or a political site?  Come on people!  How long are you going to dwell on Jane Fonda's self-admitted mistake in the 1960's?  Comment after comment after comment . . . . . geeze!  Get a life.

This is a movie review site.  I count 5 out of 67 comments that mention what went on with Jane Fonda and her trip to North Vietnam.  They are pretty evenly spread out.  Did I miss quite a few, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill?
Re: Barbarella
Reply #69. Posted on September 19, 2009, 06:06:23 PM by SeanK.
The character's name is actually Durand Durand.  lol
Re: Barbarella
Reply #70. Posted on June 28, 2010, 07:01:41 AM by Angantyrthe
Americans are amusing creatures!

"Since then I have come to learn that [Hanoi]Jane Fonda is a traitor to America due to her actions during the Viet Nam war."

So, to avoid being a traitor she should have supported a war she didn't believe in? The North Vietnamese under Ho Chi Minh had popular support from the majority of people in Vietnam and the Viet Cong were not soldiers from North Vietnam, anyway, but resistance fighters in the south.

The US government supported the side that oppressed the locals greatly, pandered to French colonialism and rejoiced in the suffering of the Buddhist (majority religion, unlike the Christian South Vietnamese government). The self immolation of Thích Quảng Đức, a monk, was a reaction to the persecution of Buddhists under Ngo Dinh Diem's regime.

Ngo Dinh Nhu, first lady of South Vietnam, made a statement saying she would ''clap hands at seeing another Buddhist barbecue''. The flying of Buddhist flags in celebrations of the Buddha's birth (vesak) was outlawed despite the fact Catholics in the country were allowed to fly Vatican flags at every major event.

Crowds of Buddhists protested peacefully against the discrimination and got grenades thrown at them for their troubles.

So, your government a disgusting side in that war. I would have happily been a traitor than support a government that backs Christian tyrants, sorry.

And, anyway, what does the politics of Jane Fonda have to do with a B-Movie. It is irrelevant.



Re: Barbarella
Reply #71. Posted on June 28, 2010, 07:10:19 AM by Angantyr
Yes, in the film the villain is Durand Durand not Duran Duran but, as it is a French name, it is pronounced as ''Duran Duran''. It would be pronounced the same as that even if it was Durant Durant, infact.
Re: Barbarella
Reply #72. Posted on July 01, 2010, 11:27:30 AM by Gluton
Rated PG on the dvd artwork but was confirmed on another review site that the dvd contains the original M version of the film. Apparently it was censored in '77. So just a typo on their part.
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