BLOODSUCKING FREAKS
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| Unrated
| | Copyright 1978 Troma Films
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Master Sardu - Scrawny sado-masochist who trains female slaves and wants to put on a real theater production. Eaten by savage women.
- Ralphus - Midget with a fro! He uses a blowgun to subdue victims then dances. Unfortunately joins Sardu in the wanton women's stomach.
- Natasha DeNatalie - Prima ballerina of New York, kidnapped by Sardu to star in his ballet.
- Tom - Natasha's boyfriend, professional football player. Brained by her.
- Creasy Silo - Film critic who mocks Sardu. Kicked to death by Natasha.
- Sgt Tucci - Corrupt cop who looks like the cartoon character "The Critic." Also eaten by the crazy gals.
- A Horde of Nude Women - Don't you just love a movie with these?
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| This lovely bit of early Troma (They must have purchased the rights to it.) is extremely disturbing, not only is it 90 minutes of nude women running around but half the time they're getting chopped up in some manner. Sardu and Ralphus kidnap girls from the streets of New York City and then train them to be submissive slaves for wealthy clients. Have you ever seen a girl getting direct current through her nipples? It doesn't look fun. This is also one of the few, maybe only, films where a midget uses a girl's severed head to perform oral sex on himself! Well here's the plot: the master sadist runs a theater where they "pretend" to kill women for the audience. Unfortunately for Natasha he wants to do a real production with a talented artist... ...so Ralphus kidnaps her and Silo, which attracts the attention of Tom and Tucci. The cop just keeps blackmailing everyone and on opening night of the performance he demands payment from Sardu to keep the lid on. All heck breaks loose when the feral women Sardu couldn't train go on a rampage - eating Sardu, Ralphus, Tucci, and some others. Hardly a film for the whole family but it should be very popular among high school and young college dudes. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Sadistic midgets carrying hacksaws are really bad news.
- Woman slaves are shipped to the far east via regular mail all the time.
- Lincoln Center's dressing room is poorly lit and unguarded.
- Sadist's use naked girl's backsides for dartboards.
- Mass nudity can improve any movie.
- Chainsaws sound just like electric knives.
- In any movie where you CONSTANTLY hear meowing a cat should be in evidence, could not find that damn cat for the life of me...
- Chaining critics to marble pillars and having ballerinas kick them to death is pure art.
- Police brutality is hardly an issue with masochists.
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- Just so you know, around every five minutes - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 17 mins - 500 volts to the nipples must suck but it's the amps that get you...
- 25 mins - This guy is a football player? He has the physique of a margarine stick!
- 37 mins - Hmmm, a naked blonde and the best thing he could come up with is drilling a hole in her head? Kill him please... ...thank you.
- 41 mins - Two naked women fighting to eat an ear while a midget dances in the foreground?
- 48 mins - She's being "racked" but the chain isn't getting any tighter and I can stretch better than that.
- 75 mins - Now, I do not know ballet from trash, but this is trash. Oh, hey! Now she's nude, nevermind...
- 83 mins - Who needs to see face? This camera angle is just fine with me.
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | bloodsucking1.wav
| Ralphus: "She's dead, master."
| | bloodsucking2.wav
| Sardu: "Are you ready to accept my domination?"
| | bloodsucking3.wav
| Sardu: "How's the fillet? Tender? You're eating one of my trainees that didn't quite work out."
| | bloodsucking4.wav
| Phone: "This is the New York City Police Department's emergency number 9 1 1. There is no one in at the moment, you are listening to a recording. At the sound of the beep leave your name, telephone number, a short description of the crime, and the perpetrators."
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | bloodsucking1.mpg
- 2.2m
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| Please, oh please never let some crazy sadist torture me with a cymbal bashing midget.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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