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BLOODSUCKING FREAKS - 2 Slimes
Unrated
Copyright 1978 Troma Films
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Master Sardu - Scrawny sado-masochist who trains female slaves and wants to put on a real theater production. Eaten by savage women.
  • Ralphus - Midget with a fro! He uses a blowgun to subdue victims then dances. Unfortunately joins Sardu in the wanton women's stomach.
  • Natasha DeNatalie - Prima ballerina of New York, kidnapped by Sardu to star in his ballet.
  • Tom - Natasha's boyfriend, professional football player. Brained by her.
  • Creasy Silo - Film critic who mocks Sardu. Kicked to death by Natasha.
  • Sgt Tucci - Corrupt cop who looks like the cartoon character "The Critic." Also eaten by the crazy gals.
  • A Horde of Nude Women - Don't you just love a movie with these?

Buy It!

The Plot: 

This lovely bit of early Troma (They must have purchased the rights to it.) is extremely disturbing, not only is it 90 minutes of nude women running around but half the time they're getting chopped up in some manner. Sardu and Ralphus kidnap girls from the streets of New York City and then train them to be submissive slaves for wealthy clients. Have you ever seen a girl getting direct current through her nipples? It doesn't look fun. This is also one of the few, maybe only, films where a midget uses a girl's severed head to perform oral sex on himself! Well here's the plot: the master sadist runs a theater where they "pretend" to kill women for the audience. Unfortunately for Natasha he wants to do a real production with a talented artist... ...so Ralphus kidnaps her and Silo, which attracts the attention of Tom and Tucci. The cop just keeps blackmailing everyone and on opening night of the performance he demands payment from Sardu to keep the lid on. All heck breaks loose when the feral women Sardu couldn't train go on a rampage - eating Sardu, Ralphus, Tucci, and some others. Hardly a film for the whole family but it should be very popular among high school and young college dudes.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Sadistic midgets carrying hacksaws are really bad news.
  • Woman slaves are shipped to the far east via regular mail all the time.
  • Lincoln Center's dressing room is poorly lit and unguarded.
  • Sadist's use naked girl's backsides for dartboards.
  • Mass nudity can improve any movie.
  • Chainsaws sound just like electric knives.
  • In any movie where you CONSTANTLY hear meowing a cat should be in evidence, could not find that damn cat for the life of me...
  • Chaining critics to marble pillars and having ballerinas kick them to death is pure art.
  • Police brutality is hardly an issue with masochists.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • Just so you know, around every five minutes - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 17 mins - 500 volts to the nipples must suck but it's the amps that get you...
  • 25 mins - This guy is a football player? He has the physique of a margarine stick!
  • 37 mins - Hmmm, a naked blonde and the best thing he could come up with is drilling a hole in her head? Kill him please... ...thank you.
  • 41 mins - Two naked women fighting to eat an ear while a midget dances in the foreground?
  • 48 mins - She's being "racked" but the chain isn't getting any tighter and I can stretch better than that.
  • 75 mins - Now, I do not know ballet from trash, but this is trash. Oh, hey! Now she's nude, nevermind...
  • 83 mins - Who needs to see face? This camera angle is just fine with me.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note bloodsucking1.wav Ralphus: "She's dead, master."
Green Music Note bloodsucking2.wav Sardu: "Are you ready to accept my domination?"
Green Music Note bloodsucking3.wav Sardu: "How's the fillet? Tender? You're eating one of my trainees that didn't quite work out."
Green Music Note bloodsucking4.wav Phone: "This is the New York City Police Department's emergency number 9 1 1. There is no one in at the moment, you are listening to a recording. At the sound of the beep leave your name, telephone number, a short description of the crime, and the perpetrators."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage


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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbloodsucking1.mpg - 2.2m
Please, oh please never let some crazy sadist torture me with a cymbal bashing midget.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 ... 6
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #1. Posted on May 02, 1999, 03:41:26 AM by deltavivis@hotmail.com
If that one guy's mother makes better movies, now THATS the kind of woman i want to meet.  
Seriously though, where do you get a bunch of semi attractive (plus 1 hot blonde) girls to parade around as a bunch of naked madwomen, smearing themselves with raw flesh and blood?  I've seen the old Dwarves album cover with the girl covered in rabbit blood--but it still can't top bloodsucking freaks!
I first saw this movie on a lark, i rented a bunch of weird movies to watch when i got this sack of 'shrooms, i watched it 3 more times when i was sober just to confirm what i saw.  Changed my life!  I used to spend all my extra money on underground comix and zines--but Bloodsucking Freaks made me a convert to the whole low-budget-no-budget-independent-horror genre.  Plus, you can rent movies, comix and zines you have to lug around with you in bulky protective boxes until you die.

I give this movie the Infinite Star Rating, forget just thumbs up, every organ on my body that can point is up for this one!
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #2. Posted on May 11, 1999, 03:19:23 PM by budshot14@hotmail.com
This flick was the lamest cheeziest s**t I ever saw. Bloodsucking Freaks has the charm of low-grade porno. It has no noticeable plot, sorry-ass acting ,and confusing scenes. Bloodsucking Freaks can only be apreciated while doped-up(the only way I prefer to watch cheeze like this).   NOTE: I never said I didn't like it.
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #3. Posted on November 29, 1999, 03:40:20 AM by greatvorelli@aol.com
The film has a couple of links with the "real world."  There really was a Sardou who wrote plays, guided by a belief that the women in plays should be "tortured."  Alfred Hitchcock took some pointers from this playwright.  Also, Louis de Jesus played an Ewok in one of the Star Wars sequels!  I saw BF in college and, like others, had to watch it again to verify what I thought I had seen the first time.  Ralphus and Sardu have great onscreen chemistry.  The movie reeks of bad intentions.  Check it out.
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #4. Posted on February 16, 2000, 01:41:27 AM by
If only Ralphus and Sardu had directed the Tonya Harding Honeymoon tape. I see Tonya lifting up her wedding dress and Ralphus shooting a blowdart into her ass.
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #5. Posted on April 20, 2000, 12:29:31 PM by undergroundbakery@mail.com
This is one of the best movie's I have ever watched.  The funniest thing in the movie is the scene about three minutes in the movie that showsa chain dangling in front of a bright light for a minute and fifteen seconds.  The sad thing is you know that when they were making this movie some guy (probably Kaufmann) was saying, "I've got an idea for this great shot of a chain in front of a light.  It's going to look so cool."

I think your mouths would make interesting Urnals
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #6. Posted on August 09, 2000, 02:23:03 PM by Chris K.
Who really likes this trash-epic? BLOODSUCKING FREAKS is one of the most god awful films ever. And I know it is even though I have never seen it. And I will never stoop so low to see this trash flick. Just crap filmaking at it's best. Whoever likes this film is a pervert, psycho, and a Snuff film fan auteur. The people who like this film (and I am talking about these people on this site who reviewed it and said "I loved it") should be ashamed. To those on this site who have said this was a bad film (and I know their are few people who said that), the more power to them for avoiding this trash-cinema. Let this be a lesson: horror and nudity harly work in films anymore. The director, and the critics on this site, should realize that the porno years of the 1970's is over. Porno's are dead! In fact, nudity really sucks in films. Thank God I have avoided watching this God awful film. I can make a better film than this. I'm all for peoples own opinions, but I can't believe that these reviewers like this flik just because of the nudity. Really pathetic.  
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #7. Posted on August 17, 2000, 05:07:52 PM by URX
Truly the Citizen Kane of the sleaze genre. I have watched it over 50 times
unfortunately with Mark Hollyoak ( see above ) and JESUS!!! HE'S EVEN GOT A DOG
CALLED RALPHUS!!!
See it once and be shocked, see it twice to be repulsed, see it 50+ times and call
your dog Ralphus.
If you like John Waters and Herschell Gordon Lewis, thi is the film for you.
Bloodsucking Freaks
Reply #8. Posted on August 31, 2000, 08:12:28 PM by ithur
Okay, I like a fair number of "bad", sick movies -- Japanese tentacle porn, early John Waters, Redneck Zombies, and so on -- but then there's Bloodsucking Freaks. I've only turned off two movies in my life due to depravity, and this is the only one of the two that was interesting enough to remember. Hell, I even had the poster in college, but I'll be damned if I ever sit through more than the first half of this crap.
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