|Copyright 1978 Troma Films
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Master Sardu - Scrawny sado-masochist who trains female slaves and wants to put on a real theater production. Eaten by savage women.
- Ralphus - Midget with a fro! He uses a blowgun to subdue victims then dances. Unfortunately joins Sardu in the wanton women's stomach.
- Natasha DeNatalie - Prima ballerina of New York, kidnapped by Sardu to star in his ballet.
- Tom - Natasha's boyfriend, professional football player. Brained by her.
- Creasy Silo - Film critic who mocks Sardu. Kicked to death by Natasha.
- Sgt Tucci - Corrupt cop who looks like the cartoon character "The Critic." Also eaten by the crazy gals.
- A Horde of Nude Women - Don't you just love a movie with these?
|This lovely bit of early Troma (They must have purchased the rights to it.) is extremely disturbing, not only is it 90 minutes of nude women running around but half the time they're getting chopped up in some manner. Sardu and Ralphus kidnap girls from the streets of New York City and then train them to be submissive slaves for wealthy clients. Have you ever seen a girl getting direct current through her nipples? It doesn't look fun. This is also one of the few, maybe only, films where a midget uses a girl's severed head to perform oral sex on himself! Well here's the plot: the master sadist runs a theater where they "pretend" to kill women for the audience. Unfortunately for Natasha he wants to do a real production with a talented artist... ...so Ralphus kidnaps her and Silo, which attracts the attention of Tom and Tucci. The cop just keeps blackmailing everyone and on opening night of the performance he demands payment from Sardu to keep the lid on. All heck breaks loose when the feral women Sardu couldn't train go on a rampage - eating Sardu, Ralphus, Tucci, and some others. Hardly a film for the whole family but it should be very popular among high school and young college dudes.|
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Sadistic midgets carrying hacksaws are really bad news.
- Woman slaves are shipped to the far east via regular mail all the time.
- Lincoln Center's dressing room is poorly lit and unguarded.
- Sadist's use naked girl's backsides for dartboards.
- Mass nudity can improve any movie.
- Chainsaws sound just like electric knives.
- In any movie where you CONSTANTLY hear meowing a cat should be in evidence, could not find that damn cat for the life of me...
- Chaining critics to marble pillars and having ballerinas kick them to death is pure art.
- Police brutality is hardly an issue with masochists.
- Just so you know, around every five minutes - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 17 mins - 500 volts to the nipples must suck but it's the amps that get you...
- 25 mins - This guy is a football player? He has the physique of a margarine stick!
- 37 mins - Hmmm, a naked blonde and the best thing he could come up with is drilling a hole in her head? Kill him please... ...thank you.
- 41 mins - Two naked women fighting to eat an ear while a midget dances in the foreground?
- 48 mins - She's being "racked" but the chain isn't getting any tighter and I can stretch better than that.
- 75 mins - Now, I do not know ballet from trash, but this is trash. Oh, hey! Now she's nude, nevermind...
- 83 mins - Who needs to see face? This camera angle is just fine with me.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Ralphus: "She's dead, master."
||Sardu: "Are you ready to accept my domination?"
||Sardu: "How's the fillet? Tender? You're eating one of my trainees that didn't quite work out."
||Phone: "This is the New York City Police Department's emergency number 9 1 1. There is no one in at the moment, you are listening to a recording. At the sound of the beep leave your name, telephone number, a short description of the crime, and the perpetrators."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Please, oh please never let some crazy sadist torture me with a cymbal bashing midget.
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #9. Posted on September 27, 2000, 01:02:27 AM by John S.
God help me, I love this movie! They used to play it at the $1.00 Show in my hometown every year (and under a different name each time). I remember it was a huge deal to get in because the show was only for 18 and over; It took me a few tries to get in on a fake I.D., and was it ever worth it! This move has scarred me for life-I can't eat a hot dog without thinking of the final scene.
P.S. Amazon.com has a DVD "Directors Cut" for sale-I can't imagine what the hell they left out.
Reply #10. Posted on October 21, 2000, 11:49:27 PM by Paul Gadaloff
Oh for Gawd's sake -- they made a point of punishing the bad guys in the end, so can't we just get over all the moral scruples stuff already ?!?!? What more could you need ?
I saw this movie in the mid-Eighties, when it had the reputation of being the holy grail of must-sees. I asked the local video library, but the guy there (who resembled the vampire in Fright Night) said "Absolutely not -- I refuse to have that filth in my shop!" I then asked his co-worker, and smoothly borrowed this flick and took it home !
I watched it with a copper and his fiancee. The copper was making a point of turning up his nose at it for a while, but then he saw the "operation" scene, where a "doctor" drills open a girl's skull and sucks her brains out. The copper laughed manically, incontinently, unstoppably, and we had to pause the tape for a few minutes to let him finish ! His fiancee bravely managed the sort of two-second smile that Miss Elizabeth used to do whenever Macho Man Randy Savage was getting carried away, and that was her sole comment on the entire film.
The standout for me was not so much the bumcheeks-as-dartboard scene, but the guillotine blade held open by the rope being placed in a girl's mouth... while she has her head on the chopping block and while someone is spanking her... No, prospective viewers, I won't tell you whether she screams.... You should all be ashamed of yourselves for reading this far anyway.
Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Ben
I don't care what anyone says, this movie is really good considering its obvious budget and poor acting. My friends and I had a lot of fun with this movie! It's a shame that there are so many prudes in the world who'll write this movie off as having no entertainment value. After all, none of it was meant to be taken seriously!
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Izzy
This film, along with REDNECK ZOMBIES, BLOOD SALVAGE, and many other classic(k) B-Movies, is the definitive trash epic. I just finished watching it, and it is a Natural classic. RENT IT, BUY IT, STEAL IT. Do whatever it takes to see this hilarious masterpiece.
For all of you people who didn't like this flick , dismissing it as sleazy-crap, remember this- IT IS ALL DONE AS CAMP!! IT IS A J-O-K-E!! I'm 14 and if I can see that, surely you can.
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Cham
Sick and twisted. It would be disgusting for me to say I loved this film but I bought it and I watched and I watched it again. So I guess I liked it. What a sick piece of trash though. Naked chicks getting tortured by a midget! I don't know what to say. I'll give this one a 3.5/5.
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by MK
I watched this once with a friend who enjoyed violent sick films. After it had finished he said he "felt dirty" and "violated" and ashamed to have watched it. I mean the guy actually acted as if he'd been raped. I just absolutely laughed my ass off for days afterward.
What can you say about a film so over the top that it produces such reactions. It just proves how stupid prudes are in todays society, the more you laugh during this film, the more sense you have - it's fantastic.
It has the most nudity I've ever seen in a movie, the most sickening torture I've ever seen in a movie and the greatest bad acting maniacal midget that will ever appear anywhere. Thats got to be good for you.
Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by tommo
I don't care what anybody says, this is undoubtedly the worst movie ever. EVER. And not in a good way. I am usually a placid person but i was literally punching the wall in anger every time that stupid little midget came on and did a dance. For anyone who hasn't seen it yet, there is NO STORY. AT ALL. I'm real p**sed off that someone else killed the actors before i did, but maybe theres a member of the audience or something whos still around.......
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Dr. Maniac & Countess Zarina
We saw this movie the way very few people can claim to have seen it: sitting next to director Joel Reed! He pointed out some jokes that no one seems to ever get.
1. Ralphus is walking through a dark corridor holding a torch. Suddenly he puts the torch down and turns on a light!
2. Sardu is sitting enjoying a decanter of whisky. The bottle on the table is Seagrams Pinch. Get it? "Pinch"?
After the movie we treated Joel to dinner and we stayed friends for quite a few years until we left the New York area. Back in 1990 he announced plans for a sequel but so far nothing has materialised. Sadly I guess those days are long gone. Oh well, we still have this movie.
Has anyone seen Joel's other movies, NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES starring Jamie Gillis and Alphonse DeNoble (best remembered for ALICE, SWEET ALICE) or ONE ARMED EXECUTIONER?
If you have let us know. We'd like to know we aren't the only ones who have!
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