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A BOY AND HIS DOG - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1974 Third L.Q.J. Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Vic - Don Johnson! A solo who survives in the wastelands left after World War IV, he is constantly hunting for food and women.
  • Blood - Highly intelligent and telepathic mutt who pals around with Vic, in addition he has radar.
  • Quilla June - Brazen girl sent to lure Vic underground, though she wants to replace the ruling council by using the solo. Ends up as dog food.
  • Mr. Craddock - Jason Robards! Senior member of the ruling council and a very dour man.
  • Dr. Moore - Fairly boring member of the ruling council, though he has the best memory.
  • Mez - Female member of the council, not a pretty sight when laughing.
  • Gary, Richard, and Kenneth - Conspirators who follow Quilla's lead, all three get their necks snapped.
  • Michael - Powerful robot which looks like a huge country bumpkin, if one of the ruling council points at you the wrong way he snaps your neck. Disassembled by Vic, but it appears the council has an entire warehouse full of replacements.
  • The Screamers - Apparently they are green glowing mutant elephants. (We do not see them, but they do glow green and sound like elephants.)

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Armageddon is a difficult thing to rationalize, lending itself to outlandish scenes of violence and debauchery. The idea of a pubescent Don Johnson wandering the lonely wastelands guided by an intelligent and telepathic dog is a new one on me, but for some reason it all fits. Particularly so when the pooch in question has a bottomless stomach and spouts an endless stream of acidic criticism at Don Johnson. (Often complaining about Vic's libido. A dog complaining about a teenage boy's libido, I love it!)

The two lead an idyllic life, scavenging for food and water in the desolate landscape, but sometimes Blood is able to sniff out a female companion for Vic. For some odd reason all the women are in hiding, other than a ravenous and horny Don Johnson hunting them I can't imagine why.

Well he ends up following Quilla into an underground fallout shelter, there the last "civilized" remnants of society are carrying on tradition. Country fairs, ice cream, and prizes for the best canned goods in addition to trapping fertile males from the surface to impregnate the young women.

Before you start thinking this is not a bad deal let me explain. Vic is immobilized and his genitals attached to the equivalent of an electronic milking machine. (Aiiiieee!) In short succession the lucky brides are wed to him, presented with a bottle of special sauce, and sent on their way. Nearly incapacitated by blue balls the ferocious young man stages a retreat from the complex after being freed, taking Quilla with him. The first (And last might I add.) marital problem results when Vic discovers his faithful pooch waited outside the shelter's entrance this entire time and is on the brink of starvation.

Zany and fun to watch on a rainy day, plus the girlfriend will never look at your faithful hound the same.


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This is just a small part of Post-Apocalypso, make sure you read these other great reviews for "After the End of the World Films:"
Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension: Robot Holocaust
Oh the Humanity: Warrior of the Lost World
And You Call Yourself A Scientist!: The Quiet Earth
The Bad Movie Report: Damnatian Alley
Cold Fusion Video Reviews: Ultra Warrior
Stomp Tokyo: The Executioners
B-Notes: Warriors of the Wasteland

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Dogs would make excellent history professors.
  • Porn films used to suck, in a real bad way.
  • Men are confused and a little put off by women who want sex.
  • There is a fundamental difference between "hang" and "harangue."
  • A secret and powerful society of mimes inhabits the underground areas of our planet.
  • Green plants grow nicely underground, even without artificial light.
  • Interrogating a dog is pretty darn difficult.
  • Nobody expects a crowbar in the middle of a bouquet.
  • If a very large, but slow moving, man is trying to break your neck I suggest running away.
  • Dogs make the worst puns.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - You have to respect any film that starts off with nuclear war.
  • 8 mins - That is Phoenix? I see that it has not changed much...
  • 23 mins - Don Johnson apologizing to a dog ladies and gentlemen.
  • 25 mins - Good dog! Hehehehe!
  • 37 mins - Blood just managed to kill a full grown man who was armed with a rifle?
  • 45 mins - Sort of a canine teleprompter...
  • 46 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 71 mins - Now, will Vic eat that or wipe it on his clothing?
  • 78 mins - The true colors of Quilla's womanhood come to light.
  • 79 mins - That is about fifty yards I guess, easy shot with a rifle...

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note boyanddog1.wav Vic: "Damn it Blood, don't give me a hard time, smell it!"
Blood: (Does his radar pooch thing.) "It's clean."
Green Music Note boyanddog2.wav Vic: "Right now I'm hungry and I want to get laid, so find me a broad and we'll go to the promised land."
Blood: "That's what you always say."
Green Music Note boyanddog3.wav Vic: "You know you're starting to sound like a God damned poodle!"
Blood: "You're starting to sound like a jackass!"
Green Music Note boyanddog4.wav Quilla: "I didn't bring you down here so they could use you. I brought down here so I could use you!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipboyanddog1.mpg - 1.8m
Blood is trying to formulate a plan to fight off a large group of brigands, but the damn woman won't leave him alone for two seconds. I wonder if I should start barking at people who annoy me, it could generate some interesting reactions.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #17. Posted on September 30, 2002, 05:01:59 PM by AlphaWoolf
Except for the twist at the end (watch out for the spoiler above), this movie was a confusing mess to me.  I should watch it again sometime to try to sort it out.  Perhaps the version I saw was heavily edited, for the movie makes no sense to me once Don reaches the underground cult.  Jason Robards laughs maniacally and then Don just sorta leaves.  The review on this site states it more clearly than I remember.  Not really cheesy (too grim), not really good (too confusing), just a sort of interesting failure, I guess.
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Winston Barclay
This is one of the great classics of science-fiction filmmaking. It truly captures the Harlan Ellison atmosphere (right up there with the first "Terminator" film). Even though made on a small budget (the mutants are green flashing lights) this movie has the tasty sense of the grotesque that the best science fiction can provide. Who could not like a story where the totalitarian society's loudspeakers broadcast helpful household hints?
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by derek carlson
ooooh man.
me and some friends were at blockbuster when this movie just sorta poped out at us and screamed "rent me!!"
fortunetly, we did.
and i must say that even though none of us understood anything about it except for the fact that the girl gets eaten at the end........

and that was enough to put this in my top ten list.
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Emily
this had to be one of the weirdest movies ever. very bizarre and confusing. we couldn't figure out why the people had paint all over their faces or why the dog was telepathic. meh. it was ok. the only reason we rented it was because of the title itself "A Boy and His Dog: a Super Sexual Sci Fi Adventure" how could that not be sick and disgusting? we were thinking some sort of grossness between boy and dog, but alas, it left us confused and annoyed that we wasted our 3 dollars at blockbuster.
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Chris Schneider
One of the best (sickest) post-nuclear nightmare flicks I ever seen. What could be better than a horny teenage Don Johnson walking around the deserts of America with a telepathic dog, helping him get laid? Probably Don's finest moment in acting. I think what would make it worst would be the Moonies running the fall-out shelter instead. I hope my post-nuclear apocolypic life style would be this good.
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #22. Posted on February 17, 2004, 02:30:22 PM by bob@empiremtgco.comamoslaon
First saw AB & HD many, many years ago.Enjoyed it then, still like it and it has always amazed me that I have never known a woman who liked the movie.
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #23. Posted on December 27, 2003, 08:59:40 PM by John
Well, contrary to one comment above, the catering on the set was very good.  I was an extra in the movie (the drummer in the marching band) and while it was a lot of fun to make I am still not impressed with it.  I do however, own a copy of the film.  One bit of trivia about the picnic scene, if you look closely some of the people at the picnic are also in the marching band and play two people in the same scene.  No trick photography, after the band scenes were shot, some of my friends put on different clothes and were filmed again.
A Boy and His Dog
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by charpin
Well, Bob, you have now met the first woman who liked this film.  No, no, no - I LOVED it!  First saw it at a drive-in almost 30 years ago (1975, I think it was), it totally cracked me up. Of course, Don Johnson was major eye candy in those days, which helped, but I have a very twisted sense of humor, too.  My then-boyfriend, now-husband didn't think much of it, but I recently rented it from NetFlix and watched it with our 17-year-old son, who thought it was "weird, but cool." I intend to purchase a copy soon, as I love to watch some of the old cult hits over & over again.
And this one is well worth owning!
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