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A BOY AND HIS DOG - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1974 Third L.Q.J. Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Vic - Don Johnson! A solo who survives in the wastelands left after World War IV, he is constantly hunting for food and women.
  • Blood - Highly intelligent and telepathic mutt who pals around with Vic, in addition he has radar.
  • Quilla June - Brazen girl sent to lure Vic underground, though she wants to replace the ruling council by using the solo. Ends up as dog food.
  • Mr. Craddock - Jason Robards! Senior member of the ruling council and a very dour man.
  • Dr. Moore - Fairly boring member of the ruling council, though he has the best memory.
  • Mez - Female member of the council, not a pretty sight when laughing.
  • Gary, Richard, and Kenneth - Conspirators who follow Quilla's lead, all three get their necks snapped.
  • Michael - Powerful robot which looks like a huge country bumpkin, if one of the ruling council points at you the wrong way he snaps your neck. Disassembled by Vic, but it appears the council has an entire warehouse full of replacements.
  • The Screamers - Apparently they are green glowing mutant elephants. (We do not see them, but they do glow green and sound like elephants.)

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Armageddon is a difficult thing to rationalize, lending itself to outlandish scenes of violence and debauchery. The idea of a pubescent Don Johnson wandering the lonely wastelands guided by an intelligent and telepathic dog is a new one on me, but for some reason it all fits. Particularly so when the pooch in question has a bottomless stomach and spouts an endless stream of acidic criticism at Don Johnson. (Often complaining about Vic's libido. A dog complaining about a teenage boy's libido, I love it!)

The two lead an idyllic life, scavenging for food and water in the desolate landscape, but sometimes Blood is able to sniff out a female companion for Vic. For some odd reason all the women are in hiding, other than a ravenous and horny Don Johnson hunting them I can't imagine why.

Well he ends up following Quilla into an underground fallout shelter, there the last "civilized" remnants of society are carrying on tradition. Country fairs, ice cream, and prizes for the best canned goods in addition to trapping fertile males from the surface to impregnate the young women.

Before you start thinking this is not a bad deal let me explain. Vic is immobilized and his genitals attached to the equivalent of an electronic milking machine. (Aiiiieee!) In short succession the lucky brides are wed to him, presented with a bottle of special sauce, and sent on their way. Nearly incapacitated by blue balls the ferocious young man stages a retreat from the complex after being freed, taking Quilla with him. The first (And last might I add.) marital problem results when Vic discovers his faithful pooch waited outside the shelter's entrance this entire time and is on the brink of starvation.

Zany and fun to watch on a rainy day, plus the girlfriend will never look at your faithful hound the same.


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This is just a small part of Post-Apocalypso, make sure you read these other great reviews for "After the End of the World Films:"
Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension: Robot Holocaust
Oh the Humanity: Warrior of the Lost World
And You Call Yourself A Scientist!: The Quiet Earth
The Bad Movie Report: Damnatian Alley
Cold Fusion Video Reviews: Ultra Warrior
Stomp Tokyo: The Executioners
B-Notes: Warriors of the Wasteland

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Dogs would make excellent history professors.
  • Porn films used to suck, in a real bad way.
  • Men are confused and a little put off by women who want sex.
  • There is a fundamental difference between "hang" and "harangue."
  • A secret and powerful society of mimes inhabits the underground areas of our planet.
  • Green plants grow nicely underground, even without artificial light.
  • Interrogating a dog is pretty darn difficult.
  • Nobody expects a crowbar in the middle of a bouquet.
  • If a very large, but slow moving, man is trying to break your neck I suggest running away.
  • Dogs make the worst puns.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - You have to respect any film that starts off with nuclear war.
  • 8 mins - That is Phoenix? I see that it has not changed much...
  • 23 mins - Don Johnson apologizing to a dog ladies and gentlemen.
  • 25 mins - Good dog! Hehehehe!
  • 37 mins - Blood just managed to kill a full grown man who was armed with a rifle?
  • 45 mins - Sort of a canine teleprompter...
  • 46 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 71 mins - Now, will Vic eat that or wipe it on his clothing?
  • 78 mins - The true colors of Quilla's womanhood come to light.
  • 79 mins - That is about fifty yards I guess, easy shot with a rifle...

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note boyanddog1.wav Vic: "Damn it Blood, don't give me a hard time, smell it!"
Blood: (Does his radar pooch thing.) "It's clean."
Green Music Note boyanddog2.wav Vic: "Right now I'm hungry and I want to get laid, so find me a broad and we'll go to the promised land."
Blood: "That's what you always say."
Green Music Note boyanddog3.wav Vic: "You know you're starting to sound like a God damned poodle!"
Blood: "You're starting to sound like a jackass!"
Green Music Note boyanddog4.wav Quilla: "I didn't bring you down here so they could use you. I brought down here so I could use you!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipboyanddog1.mpg - 1.8m
Blood is trying to formulate a plan to fight off a large group of brigands, but the damn woman won't leave him alone for two seconds. I wonder if I should start barking at people who annoy me, it could generate some interesting reactions.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #33. Posted on December 11, 2007, 10:15:03 PM by William in DC
The absolute worst ending of all time, to a movie that was otherwise pretty good for its genre was Don Johnson’s debut in, “A Boy and His Dog.” 

 

Great plot, especially for the teenager.  (Hey, I was newly married with a lovely wife at my side!)  The end of the world scenario was great, last woman on earth, found by a telepathic dog, the parents “didn’t understand” etc.  Girl rescues guy from certain death because he was stupid enough to follow her into paradise in lust! Great movie!

 

Okay, until THEY EAT THE LAST GIRL ON EARTH????  Who thought that up?  I don’t care if it was in the original!?!!  They FIXED the stupidity of Dumas in The Count of Monte Christo!!!!!   

 

I guess that is why St. George is one of my heroes.  First he did something about the problem, and second, I’ve always believed there were better things to do with girls and than feed them to dragons.  Today, 2 failed marriages later, I still wouldn’t feed any of them to the dog!  Not when a simple pint of blood from either of us would certainly do!!
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #34. Posted on December 17, 2007, 01:29:04 AM by lily
I juat saw this movie and loved it. On a superficial level it was misogynistic, but not really. The leading female character was far from a bimbo and she certainly deserved what she got at the end, which was very satisfying. A very well done, timeless, hilarious satire. The warped WASP underground society was spot on, especially with the "committee" headquarters being in a creepy (but very authentic) Protestant church basement. 

As a woman I find a movie like Medicine Man (the one with Sean Connery) or the second Indiana Jones (a Kim Basinger clone plays the lead) to be offensive.  This movie was realistic.
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #35. Posted on December 18, 2007, 06:22:03 PM by Dave M
I don't think she was the last woman on Earth, just maybe the last hot fertile one in that area.

I kind of got the impression that most of the excavation was supposed to have been done before the war, like these people took over an old secret government instalation or something.
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #36. Posted on May 29, 2008, 09:54:35 PM by steve
So many people have decided this is a cult movie. I suffered through 2/3rds of it before becoming bored and disgusted and finally turned it off. I am no prude, and consider John Waters Pink Flamingos a work of art, but this movie sucked. As others have pointed out, bad acting, dark cinematography (as in you can't see a thing), a stupid premise, and senseless violence do not a cult movie make. True, some of the scenes here and there were good, but what are we talking about here? Maybe 10 minutes out of the whole movie? Maybe. Later, when I read a review and found out how it ended, I was very happy I bailed out before then. What a stupidly dumb ending! Shock just for the sake of shock I guess. Harlen Ellison is a good writer, but not every story of his works. This one would have been better buried instead of being turned into a very bad film.
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #37. Posted on July 25, 2008, 06:18:50 AM by Psycho Circus
The absolute worst ending of all time, to a movie that was otherwise pretty good for its genre was Don Johnson's debut in, A Boy and His Dog.

This wasn't Don Johnson's first movie, his first role was in "The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart" and he did about 4-5 movies after that before ABAHD, but they didn't go anywhere.

I am a HUGE Don Johnson fan and I was really freaked out by this movie, it has it's moments and parts of the story are genius but I really don't like it at all. I can understand its cult appeal though.
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #38. Posted on November 14, 2008, 01:03:37 AM by Maddog
Shortly after it was released, I saw this movie in a drive-in in Florida. Perfect!
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #39. Posted on April 12, 2009, 04:04:27 PM by john
I think it's a great movie. If it isn't considered a cult classic, it shoud be. I tried watching V for Vendetta, now that movie just plain sucked.
Re: A Boy and His Dog
Reply #40. Posted on July 19, 2009, 09:43:22 PM by vaultboy
I am surprised at the lack of "Fallout" references. I mean, there were raiders, mutants (not exactly like the ones in Fallout but still), a crazed underground society, all that was missing was genocidal government agents.
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