CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH
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| Rated PG-13 (There is nudity)
| | Copyright 1988 Gaucamolle Pictures
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Dr. Margo Hunt - Shannon Tweed! Professor of Feminist Studies.
- Bunny - Every liberated woman's nightmare, but she wants to be a feminist. This girl has more outfits than you can shake a stick at.
- Jim - Bill Maher! Inept guide who once had a one night stand with Margo.
- Dr. Kurtz - Another feminist, author of "Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men." Throws herself into a pool of Piranhas in the end.
- Colonel Mattel - Head of the National Security Commission on Avocado Affairs. He has one eye.
- Piranha Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with guacamolle dip.
- Barracuda Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with clam dip.
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| Talk about strange and wonderous things! This film is full of camp, not only is southern California transformed into wild avocado jungle but it is inhabited by man eating feminists! Shannon Tweed, whose breasts have starred in numerous films, is a teacher of women's studies! Then of course there is Bunny, this girl is every teenage guy's dream and every feminists nightmare - but she wants to be a progressive woman. There are plenty of little gags here and there, most of them involving Maher and Bunny being boneheads. Dr. Hunt is recruited by the U.S. Government to make liaison with the Pirahna Women and hires Jim as her guide. After encountering vicious hippos, catfish, and Donnahews (men who knit and cook) the explorers discover the Pirahna women are led by a savage ex-feminist and poised to wage war! Bunny nearly joins the cannibals but is unable to complete the initiation rite, which involves her making love to then consuming Jim. Everything works out in the end though, Kurtz is slain, Jim and Bunny marry, and Dr. Hunt returns to her college. A fun film with plenty of women running around in leather loincloths and tops.
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Most of southern California is virgin jungle.
- Girls just want to tear men into strips and eat them with gaucamolle dip.
- An hour and a half of feminine nonsense punctuated with half-nude women is tolerable.
- Bill Maher is the last real man but he looks fairly effeminate in a white neck kerchief.
- There are leopards living wild in California.
- Lost female tribes speak French.
- If given a choice between Bill Maher or Shannon Tweed in their underwear I would pick the latter.
- Bunny has a damn lot of clothes, what is up with this girl?
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- 3 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 4 mins - Pretty pale skin for living in a jungle her whole life.
- 14 mins - Now this is a shirt.
- 18 mins - That's a pretty small barrel for a .44 Magnum, maybe it's a 44 Magnum divided by 2?
- 19 mins - Bunny in one of many outfits, where she keeps them nobody knows.
- 38 mins - Mallards in a tropical rain forest?
- 46 mins - Just conjuring up cases of beer huh? But why Old Milwaukee? Ugh.
- 75 mins - The compound must be right on the international date line, one side is day the other night.
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- Bunny: "I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes."
- Bunny: "I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked."
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | cannibalwomen1.wav
| Col Mattel: "Avocados are vital to this nation's security interests. With the communists already in control of Nicaragua and Guatemala and El Salvador strife with revolution California is the last secure supply of Avocados in the free world. We're on the verge of a major Avocado gap!"
| | cannibalwomen2.wav
| Margo: "Dr. Kurtz? Internationally famous author of 'Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men?'"
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| Bunny: "Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy I wish that he would tie me up with red licorice ropes and then spank me...and then he'd eat the ropes... and then he'd free me...and then we'd make love while the philharmonic played 'Bolero.'"
| | cannibalwomen4.wav
| Jim: "Okay, let's see...so she's going to make love to me, that's, that's good - but she's going to kill me and eat me, that's bad."
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| Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | cannibalwomen1.mpg
- 2.7m
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| If there is ever a moment to capture, it is Bill Maher accusing Shannon Tweed of being a cannibal feminist. He makes a convincing argument.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Reply #1. Posted on April 12, 1999, 04:35:04 AM by RickB52@aol-dot-com
Bad movie or intentionally camp? I opt for the latter. <a href=" http://members.tripod.com/~FredrikPersson/open.html">One source</a> says the movie's writer is billed as J.D. Athens, a pseudonym for J.F. Lawton, who also wrote "Pretty Woman," and who is currently working on the camp action parody "V.I.P." TV series starring Pamela Anderson. |
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Reply #2. Posted on July 07, 1999, 08:54:36 PM by Nekkidman
Does this crappy movie really deserve this much attention? What the hell was Bill Mahr thinking when he did this turkey? I've only seen this one on cable. There would have to be a hell of a lot of nudity to make me sit through this film again.
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Reply #3. Posted on July 08, 1999, 01:40:25 AM by hiker.yote@iname.com
Just felt like saying, this movie caused a considerable and long lasting stench on my university campus back in 1992. The Soc/Anth Society wanted to show it as a fundraiser... the radical feminist element on campus took umbrage... and a war that lasted a year and rampaged across the letters page of our student newspaper AND the local news ensued. All for this movie.
Behold, the power of Cheese.
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Reply #4. Posted on November 22, 1999, 02:17:11 AM by rosie@ihug.co.nz
Feminism and avocado dip....sounds like Fraulein Maria singing about My Favourite Things. This should be on every Z-grade film-loving feminist's must-see list.
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Reply #5. Posted on January 01, 2000, 08:50:10 PM by a.moreno@mindspring.com
This is one of the funniest films I have ever seen. I've never thought it should be included in a list of bad films to avoid,or that it was bad through ineptness.It's INTENTIONALLY bad--that's what makes it so funny. The dialogue is hysterical--Adrienne Barbeau's comment about Bill Maher "looking a little marinated" is priceless,and Maher does a hilarious caricature of a supermacho stud.
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Reply #6. Posted on January 28, 2000, 11:24:42 AM by Paul H.
Very Good Film. 7 out of ten.
The actors act very poorly with much skill and harmony. Its cheap and bland, But it is very well tied together and seamless cheap and bland. If you are going to not put any effort in to a movie, might as well not put any effort into a movie right. "You" (meaning anyone) and your friends could never make something this good. Bill Mahr or Shannon Tweed wouldn't even give us the time of day. (kiss the directors and producers feet for this film)
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Reply #7. Posted on February 28, 2000, 06:31:00 PM by Yamara
I loved this movie! It was so incredibly stupid that it was hilarious. The acting was horrible. But I think it was intentional, and it turned out great in the end [for some reason...]
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Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Lily Pomona
Yes, the writer/director really is J.F. Lawton, screenwriter of "Pretty Woman," "Under Siege," and executive producer of V.I.P. How do I know? Because I was there.
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