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CARNOSAUR - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1993 Pacific Trust
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Doc - Alcoholic ex-doctor, now night watchman for a construction project. Shot to death by the military.
  • Thrush - Blonde girl and part of a Greenpeace-like organization trying to stop construction. Also killed by the military.
  • Dr. Tiptree - Genetic scientist who wishes to resurrect the dinosaurs. Dies giving live birth to a dinosaur.
  • Sheriff Fowler - Only man that wears a cowboy hat in the movie, get's a claw through his gut.
  • Fallon - Heads the government's "Secret Projects" branch.
  • Jesse - Manager of the poultry plant Dr. Tiptree is working at, she feeds him to the momma dinosaur.
  • The Carnosaurs - Dinosaurs created from chickens by genetic engineering who can infect women, making them give birth to more Carnosaurs.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The world's leading expert in biological warfare working for a poultry company? Does this sound like Perdue meets Saddam Hussein to you? Roger Corman, bringing funky bad movies to the screen before I was even an egg, scores again! Doc is doing a poor job of night security for a construction company and falls in love with Thrush, who is one of the eco-vandals! Their torrid love affair is disrupted by the plague Tiptree has bred into chicken eggs, she wants to repopulate the earth with dinosaurs and has created a virus to do it. Okay all done with the giggles? Good. Women infected give birth to dinosaurs! Right back to giggles... ...well, once you get composed. Along with scenes of puppet dinosaurs eating people there is this spooky footage of chickens, ever watch chickens feeding in low light - eerie. Doc is all set to save the day after locating a serum and killing mama dinosaur when the military arrives. Everybody gets a bullet then flamethrowers come into action, burning up Doc, Thrush, and the serum. Plenty of fun stuff in a movie when dinosaurs bite the legs off Barbie Dolls (I think it was a Barbie leg) and some funny plot goofs.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Secret government agencies can never afford decent lighting.
  • A room full of monitors covering chickens is really spooky... ...no man, I mean it...
  • People allergic to chickens work at poultry farms.
  • Constant subtitles telling you location, time, infected cells, ect... are very annoying.
  • Do not feed a Senator blueberries coated in goat embryonic fluid.
  • Chaining yourself to heavy equipment when dinosaurs are around is a bad idea.
  • A military containment team will shoot all plague victims then photograph them.
  • Genetically engineered Carnosaurs have a 65 million year-old race memory?
  • Never stand directly over a wounded Carnosaur.
  • If you are going to duel a Dinosaur use the very large construction equipment vice the very small Bobcat tractor.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - The only item on this table is two cans of coke? Um, well, who sponsored this again?
  • 11 mins - He turns his head to sneeze directly on the other guy?
  • 12 mins - There is no way that egg came out of a chicken.
  • 43 mins - This is a girl being pulled by the Carnosaur, but for about four frames you can see it's a hand pulling her foot. Also, where did all the blood on her face go?
  • 52 mins - You know... ...if I found chicken eggs full of black sludge I'd be worried.
  • 58 mins - What do you mean she's in labor? Wait, now she's dead! And she gave birth to an egg!
  • 66 mins - Enough of the mad scientist's 20-minute soliloquy, shoot her ass.
  • 71 mins - What is this? In case of virus break glass?

Quotes: 

  • Fallon: "It's all done with a little scientific magic. You see, each little blueberry is coated with a thin layer of goat embryonic fluid.
    Senator: *Spitting sounds*
    Fallon: Get the Senator some water!"
  • Waitress: "You been watching too many of them Italian zombie flicks."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note carnosaur1.wav Security Guard: "Any extraneous organic matter, what the hell is extraneous organic matter?"
Other Security Guard: "That's my wife you're talking about, strangely orgasmic matter."
Green Music Note carnosaur2.wav Poultry Plant Employee: "I've never seen such nervous chickens."
Green Music Note carnosaur3.wav Fallon: "There's nothing new in either a turnip or a cow, and either can be marketed and sold without being tested. So why should a few cows with a little tiny piece of DNA material from a turnip be any different?"
Green Music Note carnosaur4.wav Fallon's Assistant: "Well, either that or the animal that attacked him...was a chicken."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipcarnosaur1.mpg - 2.8m
I strongly urge you to watch this jaw-dropping scene. Not only can you see the man's hand who is pulling the girl's leg, but then you get to watch the amazing disappearing blood on her face.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4]
Carnosaur
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dino Hunter 2.0
Carnosaur, and both it's sequels, suck. A lot. A whole lot.
If you can enjoy cheesy B-movies, yeah, you might like this. But if you seriously think this movie is better than Jurassic Park, I'm sorry... you have terribly taste in movies. And novels, it would seem...
Re: Carnosaur
Reply #26. Posted on August 09, 2009, 11:21:01 PM by Captain Ratfink
As much as I love dinosaurs and movies where dinosaurs eat people, this was 83 precious minutes of my life that I mourn having wasted on this garbage. The dinosaurs and their attacks were more or less similar to something you'd see in a senior high school play-or even worse-, that virus made no freaking sense at all, the gore was stupid and too over-the-top, and the ending-Gosh, that ending was so, so pointless and depressing. I slogged through the movie all for that? Lookingup
Speaking of which, although it is true that members of military units that deal with biological contaminants do carry assault weapons with them, these would only be used on civilians if they displayed hostile behavior towards the team members, most likely due to frustration at the unit's inability to directly help them.
 This stupid ripoff of JP is something which I think deserves the bargain bins at best, landfills at worst.     
Re: Carnosaur
Reply #27. Posted on December 18, 2009, 09:53:02 AM by diamondwaspvenom
                           Great cheesy movie with great puppetry.

   John Carl Buechler (the guy responsible for the Ghoulies series, Troll, Friday the 13th part VII and so on) is the one who provided the dinosaur effects. I remember reading somewhere that he didn't like working on this movie (mainly because whenever he gave a suggestion for shooting the creatures, the director ignored him). Makes me wonder if the movie would've turned out better if John's suggestions were used. Oh well.
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Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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