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C.H.U.D. - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1984 New World Pictures.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • George Cooper - Photographer who has been doing work involving bums.
  • Lauren - George's girlfriend, she has a pimple on her butt.
  • Capt Bosch - Policeman, his wife is the first we see munched. We never see him drinking. (Cops always drink in bad movies remember?)
  • Reverend - Daniel Stern! Guy who runs a soup kitchen, he has some cool hair.
  • Murphy - Freelance reporter out to get a story, the only thing he does get is munched.
  • Wilson - Corrupt director for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, Reverend shoots him.
  • C.H.U.D. - Bums who have been mutated by toxic waste into Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Always suspected there was something funny about New York City and this film proves it. Capt Bosch is being forced by the police commissioner and others to cover up disappearences while the situation grows worse. Between the information Reverend, George, and Murphy gather the plot does thicken, into what I have no idea but it does thicken. We don't get to see the monsters very often which is pretty annoying, we didn't even get to see the diner attack, only the results. I do applaud this film for killing off the reporter though, if they had done in the photographer I might worship it. Ever wonder why the heavily armed and trained police never make it through but a chunky reporter does? (Me too.) The plot muddles around for a long time on Reverend and George running from C.H.U.D. in the sewers before wrapping up with a natural gas explosion. But it doesn't end there, we get to see John Goodman as a cop when C.H.U.D. attack a diner - and the movie ends! Though watching the monsters eat him would have made the film ten minutes longer, not a little man.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Stay way clear of manhole covers.
  • Women are much less attractive when they are talking about a pimple on their ass.
  • Girls - Never turn turn your head abruptly when someone is applying lipstick to you.
  • When you know the sewer is being flooded with natural gas don't go down there. Darwin didn't figure on New Yorkers...
  • There is nuclear waste buried under New York City.
  • The New York City Police Department has flamethrowers.
  • When investigating a sewer for monsters make sure you have a good flashlight.
  • Screaming out your window for help in New York City is likely to bring more insults than succor.
  • Cops leave their cars unlocked with keys in the ignition.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 3 mins - Yes lovely, we get to watch a street sweeper for two minutes straight... ...oh, oh wait! Suck up the pigeon! Hit the gas and get the pigeon! Please, oh please... (it flew away) ...stupid bird.
  • 30 mins - Some strange roaring going on in the sewers and you fools aren't running.
  • 42 mins - Yeah, what does C.H.U.D. stand for?
  • 43 mins - That guy just ate Reverend's quarter! He took it out of the pay phone and ate it! Wait, that's really not very threatening.
  • 54 mins - So this guy was just carrying around a padlock?
  • 60 mins - Now why is this woman going to open the sewer entrance in her basement? Just one of those, "I wonder what treasures are down here..." things?
  • 62 mins - SHOWER SCENE! Pan down! Pan down! Pan down you Communists!
  • 66 mins - Why did the neck elongate?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note chud1.wav A C.H.U.D. roaring.
Green Music Note chud2.wav Policeman: "She says some monster came out of the sewer and ate her grandfather."
Green Music Note chud3.wav Murphy: "You figure it out! You may not know it but there's NRC men crawling all over this God damned city. Something's gone wrong and it's so bad nobody wants to talk about it. The cops are going nuts trying to figure out why a bag lady wants a handgun!"
Green Music Note chud4.wav Wilson: "Two gas company guys just found it, a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, a C.H.U.D."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 



 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipchud1.mpg - 2.3m
I've been trying to figure out what environmental advantage having a long neck would be in New York City, especially when women are armed with swords...

C.H.U.D., we hardly knew thee.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 5 6 [7]
Reply #49. Posted on May 29, 2008, 10:05:35 AM by starmummy
I read an interview with the producer for C.H.U.D. in an old issue of Fangoria, stating that they went back to all of the classic horror films (Psycho, etc) to see what made them so scary.  They wanted to take those things and make the scariest movie ever made.  That really excited me and I went out and bought C.H.U.D. the next day.  I actually took an extra long lunch break from work and watched it in my car in the parking lot of a Burger King on my portable dvd player.  I figured it would be the perfect scenario.   Well, let me tell you something about C.H.U.D.......THIS WAS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN.  I don't mean "So bad it's good".  This movie just sucked.  It was long, slow, the characters were uninteresting.  It seemed like the producers wanted to make a big budget thriller with a b-movie story.  I should have known that a movie called C.H.U.D. (which sounds like a turd that won't flush) would be terrible.
Reply #50. Posted on June 12, 2008, 12:15:50 PM by Victoria
ok i HAVE to like this movie for one reason this was that movie that the drummer of the misfits got his name from!
Reply #51. Posted on October 11, 2008, 05:15:08 AM by Thee Dr.
Good catch, Starmummy.
Reply #52. Posted on November 24, 2008, 06:43:30 PM by Warp Ninja X
I remember watching this crap on HBO back then also a second time on USA man those were mistakes I wish I never did also on the sequel.  On my Zune theirs a crapy podcast that call themselves The CHUD Show and they just like the movie a mega pile of s**t. Hatred
Reply #53. Posted on May 04, 2010, 01:06:51 PM by Panasit
I was on a creature feature mode, watching over 10 of them in a day. C.H.U.D. was my last one after Black Water, Rogue, Dinoshark, etc. And I thought the movie was extremely good. I love the plot, and how different people from different walk of life tackle the issue. There aren't enough gore, but that's not what I look for in movies. I don't see how people can like the first Ghostbuster and hate this movie.
Reply #54. Posted on October 28, 2010, 09:58:07 AM by ChristopherS
Just found a great Halloween MP3 based on the C.H.U.D. movie, by a group called Sticks Downey. You can get it for free at SticksDowney dot com.
Reply #55. Posted on January 18, 2011, 12:29:17 PM by ThatGuy
I always assumed that John Goodman went berserk and killed everything in the diner while yelling "you're in for a world of hurt".
Reply #56. Posted on January 28, 2011, 05:29:55 PM by Used Meathook
Love this movie.

I heard rumors that there's a longer version (longer by quite a bit!) somewhere out there (probably collecting dust in a film vault @ Area 51). Supposedly, this longer version shows the massacre in the sewer...current versions just show the "after the fact" gore (the corpses). Anybody know what I'm talking about? And no, I'm not drunk. 
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