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ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS - 2 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1957 Allied Artists Pictures Corporation.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Hank - Russell Johnson! In addition to being the only useful member of the group he hates crabs on general principle. Electrocutes himself and the last crab, thus saving mankind.
  • Martha and Dale - Biologists in love, though Martha was just about ready to give Hank a test drive. Her boyfriend is a putz.
  • Karl Weigand - Nuclear physicist, first to suspect the existence of mutated monsters, the last to get eaten.
  • Jules Deveroux - French botanist who has one hand cut off by falling rocks. He does not even have time to contemplate how that will affect his sex life before a crab eats him.
  • James Carson - Geologist and light snack.
  • Two Navy Guys - Trained in demolition, though they must have been swabbing the deck when safety was taught. Crab chow.
  • The Crab Monsters - Giant mutated land crabs with human eyes, not only are they nearly impossible to kill, the creatures absorb their victim's intellect by consuming the brain and can project voices through metal objects. (At one point an ashtray is speaking in Jules' voice.) Hank kills both of them.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

After a group of scientists studying the effects of nuclear radiation disappears there is only one thing to do, send another group armed with grenades and rifles to replace them. Unfortunately the floatplane, which transported the team, explodes on takeoff and leaves them marooned and their radio rendered temporarily useless by severe weather.

The Researchers begin conducting experiments on the rapidly shrinking atoll, never guessing what horrors await. Perhaps you are wondering why it's shrinking. Well, the mutated crabs are doing it to make killing the humans easier, despite have no problem killing the previous party on a full sized island. I guess they don't like having to chase down their prey. It is even worse than we imagined! In addition to being huge, mutated, man-eating, and nearly indestructible the monsters are fat and lazy to boot! Obviously people and atolls are fattening. Over the period of a few days the crabs destroy several square miles of rock. It is pretty darn impressive, but why did the scientists get worried when the clawed landscapers stole two cases of dynamite? Oh no! They might blow up a large boulder or two! The monsters ate half the atoll already, without the explosives, using dynamite would probably slow them down.

We are informed these were land crabs, and I'm hardly an expert, but all the crustaceans would appear to possibly be Dungeness Crabs. Considering the movie was probably shot along the California coast you have to agree it is a plausible hypothesis. Plus the monsters are always accompanied by strange clacking sounds which I suppose is their limbs and joints. Personally it reminds me of an evening at Red Lobster, listening to a fat guy two tables over attack his dinner with cracker and mallet. You sir, are a truly disgusting human being.

With the island reduced to a small rock outcropping and the last crab monster closing in all seems lost, until Hank climbs the antenna and brings it down on the advancing horror in a shower of sparks. Where the device was still drawing power from is beyond me, but my brain clicked over to "standby" during the opening credits anyway.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Few things get more mileage than stock footage of cold war nuclear tests.
  • God is available for voice-overs.
  • The wild ocean looks just like an overstocked aquarium.
  • Newly formed sinkholes should not have shrubs growing out of their sides.
  • Marines have one natural predator: land crabs.
  • When demolition experts play poker they use sticks of dynamite instead of money or chips.
  • Crabs are mimics and ventriloquists.
  • Oil flows uphill. (This is the only explanation possible, they walk downhill looking for the source.)

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • Opening Credits - "Roger Corman." That should explain anything you see in the next ninety minutes.
  • 5 mins - Maybe setting the nuclear bomb off near an inhabited area was a bad idea. Hope you people can swim.
  • 7 mins - Very deep water and just six feet from shore.
  • 8 mins - Don't throw grenades at the sea turtles! They are on the edge of extinction and this rocket scientist wants to chuck grenades at them.
  • 16 mins - Actually he did say "Earthworm."
  • 22 mins - Martha and Dale are perfectly dry, despite just emerging from the water.
  • 31 mins - These scientists, some of which are kind of chubby, plan to climb that rope huh?
  • 58 mins - Why does it matter where the oil is coming from?
  • 63 mins - "One Million BC" earthquake anyone?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note crabmonsters1.wav Martha: "Jim, you don't know what's down there!"
James: "What could be other than earth, water, and a few land crabs?"
Green Music Note crabmonsters2.wav Karl: "We are unquestionably on the brink of a great discovery. It is not likely that that discovery will be of a pleasant nature."
Green Music Note crabmonsters3.wav Dale: "That means that the crab can eat his victim's brain, absorbing his mind intact and working."
Karl: "It's as good theory as any other to explain what's happened."
Green Music Note crabmonsters4.wav Crab Monster: "So you have wounded me! I must grow a new claw, well and good, for I can do it in a day, but will you grow new lives when I have taken yours from you?"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage


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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipcrabmonsters1.mpg - 2.6m
Hank the hero, well almost.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 4 5 [6]
Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #41. Posted on October 09, 2009, 05:30:20 AM by paula

One things for sure, you wouldn't want crabs like these, your doctor would prescribe napalm not blue ointment!

lol, @"not blue ointment".....that is way too specific!

what is with it with the "crab" related posts???  should i know something about you guys??
Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #42. Posted on September 17, 2010, 09:29:41 AM by ArmyOfMachines25
I just whatched this flick last night, And i F*CKING loved it! its just another one of those great (bad) movies that you can just sit back and have a good laugh at and this is definantly one of my favorite 50s horrors now.
Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #43. Posted on November 19, 2010, 05:51:12 PM by Waka
Quote
Opening Credits - "Roger Corman." That should explain anything you see in the next ninety minutes.

90 minutes? Why should I try to explain what's happening in the "next 90 minutes" if the movie is only about 60 minutes long? :P

Ah well, the movie does have it's moments. Some of the quotes are pretty funny (like the "but will you grow new lives when I have taken yours from you?" and "Are you getting through? - How should I know? I'm not on the other side of this thing!"). But the characters just act stupid and refuse to learn from their mistakes. They discover very quickly that bullets and grenades do no damage to the crabs, and yet we can see the characters wasting bullets and grenades on those things throughout the whole movie.

The ending is kind of weird as well (possible spoiler ahead, I guess): "He gave his life... - I know. - THE END"
Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #44. Posted on November 19, 2010, 06:08:04 PM by Umaril The Unfeathered
As a young un' in the early to mid 70's, I used to see this movie a lot on WNEW 5's Creature Features showcase at 8 PM every Saturday night. Some of you may remember this show, and Lou Steele aka "The Creep" doing little segments in-between the movie. Steele came back briefly to host CF in 1979 in a midnight triple feature that sadly, wasn't enough to save the show when it tanked in 1980.

Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #45. Posted on April 14, 2011, 08:32:59 AM by HorrorofBob
 :twirl:Frankly, I found this movie very entertaining as Hank (Russell Johnson of Gilligan's Island Fame) expertly advises his way as a handyman amongst all these klutzy brilliant scientists.  The hot babe almost falls for him before Hank is heroically killed by the crab monsters (which is heroic, Hank or the Cab Monsters, you be the judge).
Scientists of such brilliance keep falling into new holes that weren't in existence the night before.  How can that happen?  The clever, pesky crustaceans keep digging and exploding these holes to pin the scientists onto a smaller island land mass. 
Why?  They want to kill the brilliant crew, assume their total knowledge and proceed to conquer ze vurld.  No, I made that up, they are not German crabs.  Still, they are a rather ambitious bunch (maybe two-three) of crabs.  Overall, it is a load of laughs if not thrills and I watch it every chance I get. BounceGiggle
Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #46. Posted on December 10, 2012, 09:51:45 AM by Arvedon Sucks
David Arvedon played the role of Hoolar The Giant Crab in this movie.  He also played Hoolar The Giant Crab in the recent movie, land of the lost.  He looks like a giant crab.  He is a beached whale.  He is nothing but a big fat ugly whale.
Re: Attack of the Crab Monsters
Reply #47. Posted on January 06, 2013, 01:28:11 PM by Umaril Has Returned
As a young un' in the early to mid 70's, I used to see this movie a lot on WNEW 5's Creature Features showcase at 8 PM every Saturday night. Some of you may remember this show, and Lou Steele aka "The Creep" doing little segments in-between the movie. Steele came back briefly to host CF in 1979 in a midnight triple feature that sadly, wasn't enough to save the show when it tanked in 1980.



As owner of this quote in my earlier days here atBadmovies, I'll add a bit more to it.

I too enjoyed this movie, and as a young kid, the human-like eyes on the crab used to scare me because I knew crabs didn't look like that. But now I realize that the reason was because the crab was devouring humans and their intellect, and began showing such features.

Funny, the things you look back on and how they affected you at the time.  BounceGiggle   B-movies are either hit-or-miss, but one things for sure, you never forget some of em'!
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