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CYBORG 2 - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1993 Anglo-American/Films International.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Casella - Angelina Jolie! Female cyborg injected with "Glass Shadow" who falls in love with Colt.
  • Colt - Casella's trainer who falls in love with her, lives to be a very old man.
  • Mercy - Jack Palance! Warrior poet and cyborg, he once commanded a fleet before the world went to hell. (Believe it, or not!) Detonates and destroys the Pinwheel headquarters.
  • Bobby Lin - Asian fight promoter at the shipyards and a vampire. (?)
  • The Cyborg Dog - Mercy's operative, but why doesn't it talk? Any reason a cyborg dog wouldn't talk?
  • Chen - Female cyborg who does all of Dun's dirty work, electrocuted.
  • Daniel Bench - Bounty hunter with a streak of vanity miles across, Colt stuffs his face into a spinning propeller.
  • Dun - Pinwheel executive, only about ten feet from Mercy when the cyborg explodes.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

He might not be the main character in the film, but Jack Palance is certainly the reason to watch it. "Glass Shadow" is the code name for a new explosive, the substance is injected into a cyborg and then detonated when it reaches the desired point. (Corporate headquarters of Pinwheel's competitors in this case.) Too bad they didn't keep it a secret from Mercy, with his help Casella and Colt are able to escape the complex. One amazing incident stands out, she hits a security guard with a thrown weapon and he falls over backwards. Doesn't sound very helpful does it? Well it is when he accidentally manages to pull the trigger on his own weapon and gun down every other security guard in sight. (I'm not kidding.) Let's not forget that Mercy can use any monitor or television set as a conduit, even one which is sitting on a junk pile and probably not plugged in. We spend about half the movie watching our protagonists dodge Mr. Bench and Chen before finally arriving at a defunct shipyard. This is where Mercy is hiding out, who would look for him on the bridge of a ship he once commanded? (Roll eyes here.) When the Pinwheel goons do show up it looks like the end for Casella and Colt, until Mercy starts firing grenades in addition to witty comments. The two lovers escape, the cyborg is taken in chains to Pinwheel headquarters, and Colt dies of old age. All of it set to Jack Palance's narration and touching new age music.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Jack Palance likes to go cyber-peeping.
  • Elevators have secret trapdoors in the floor, these are only covered by thin wood paneling.
  • Women go crosseyed just before they explode.
  • Ancient (Over a hundred years old.) pickup trucks are lying all over the place in the future.
  • Candy corn is a powerful drug.
  • Abandoned museums will still contain their exhibits.
  • It's pretty difficult to convince a mass produced cyborg that she is special.
  • Never take cover from gunfire behind a glass display case.
  • Romeo and Juliet were cyborgs.
  • Avoid kickboxing matches if you have just undergone plastic surgery.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 3 mins - Are they building a cyborg or making a strawberry shake?
  • 5 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 13 mins - Why did they put the computer interface on her hip?
  • 23 mins - This director must love "Star Wars."
  • 30 mins - I can understand him hacking a computer terminal, but an old TV?
  • 35 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 41 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A WINDOW!
  • 46 mins - He left quite a smear...
  • 64 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DINING ROOM!
  • 72 mins - Didn't the camera/dart thing hit him in the other eye?
  • 75 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note cyborgii1.wav Dunn talking about "Glass Shadow."
Green Music Note cyborgii2.wav Chen: "You've been a naughty girl."
Casella: "It's in my program."
Green Music Note cyborgii3.wav Colt: "Forget it, I'm not putting my ass through a blender so you can place some bets."
Mercy: "Easy Colt .45, remember the difference between champ and chump...is 'U'."
Green Music Note cyborgii4.wav Mercy: "Cyborg love, just like Romeo and Juliet!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipcyborgii1.mpg - 2.4m
This scene is a jaw dropper; I still cannot get over it. Check this out, she gymnastics her way down the hall, then chucks a weapon at one guard. When the guard is hit he falls over backwards and shoots all his buddies.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3
Cyborg 2
Reply #1. Posted on February 29, 2000, 12:26:18 PM by Paul H.
I agree with Andrew on almost everything he posts. The man is Brilliant you know.  However, I like Cyborg movies much more than him.  It seems to be my calling while he tends to avoid them.  Cyborg two is one of the best cyborg movies. For several reasons.  1) Jack Palance.  2) Not as Cliche while maintaining all the cliches 3) quality nudity.  4) Good pacing. 5) only a few of the actors really suck.  Definately worth seeing and having in a collection.

3.5 green Globs
Cyborg 2
Reply #2. Posted on May 19, 2000, 04:43:08 PM by jason hyde
how, oh how, can you have page on this movie, with sounds, and not feature jack palance's amazing 'if you wanna dine with the devil, you're gonna need a long spoon'?

what the hell does that mean, anyway?

sorry, that line's all i can remember from this film.
Cyborg 2
Reply #3. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by polly
AJ is 27 now (2002) . this movie came out in '93 hmmm underage T & A?
Cyborg 2
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by juanjose agŁero
i love angelina, and everything she makes...
cyborg was the first angelina's movie i have ever seen..
and since then i love her

juanjose
Cyborg 2
Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by kilroy
Oh, dear. 'Cyborg 2'. Not the best movie I've ever seen, but definately not the worst (that would be "Lisztomania", to date). I'll confess I rented it because I'm a fan of Billy Drago, and I found him most entertaining (esp when he loses it in the car). Colt sucked, though--could they have found a more boring hero?
Cyborg 2
Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by rachel
Angelina jolie rules. Iv seen every movie she's been in. This was one of her first, and she really didn't do that bad of a job. Id add it to your collection.
Cyborg 2
Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Funk, E.
I watched this one based on the review of this site and the fact that it had A. Jolie in it. I'm glad I got to see the AJ T&A that we were denied in Tomb Raider and Jack Palance is genetically engineered to chew scenery, but somehow it just didn't come together for me as a film. I don't know if the production value was just too borderline (not good enought to view as a big budget snafu, not low enough to be a microbudget campfest), the editing just slow enough to lack proper action/adventure pacing or the acting being shaky. It's almost a "b" movie by default simple because it doesn't have the elements to make it an "A" list film. Before the lynch mob come knocking on my door I still must confess it was a good watch, a little more one way or the other would have settled it into a solid piece either as a legit a/a or a cheesefest. As it is it wanders the wasteland that is B movies good enough to stand up on it's own two feet, but not enought to stand out.
Cyborg 2
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by DD
I have a serious question about this film.  How is it related to Van Damme's Cyborg?  Not a single cast or crew member from Cyborg is involvved with this.  It's a different production company and the original writers aren't even credited with "based on characters created by"  It's as if some other company made a move and just for the hell of it decided to call it Cyborg 2 simply because "Cyborg" was already taken.  Does anyone know how Trimark acquired the rights to the name?
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