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DEATH RACE 2000 - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1978 New World Pictures.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Frankenstein - David Carradine! Dark and brooding racer, he is believed to be a myriad of replaced limbs.
  • Machine Gun Joe - Sylvester Stallone! Racer with a classic gangster motif, except he stresses. A lot. Him and his ulcer say hi to a grenade.
  • Annie Paine - Daughter of the rebel leader who is out to capture or kill Frankenstein, she falls in love with him instead.
  • Myra - Joe's amazingly blonde navigator, helps him welcome the grenade.
  • Calamity Jane - Crazed female driver, her car looks like a steer until it runs over a land mine.
  • Matilda the Hun - Aryan poster girl, drives off a cliff.
  • Nero the Hero - Hits an explosive baby, points zero.
  • Junior Bruce - Hyper reporter, he won't stop campaigning for the race until Frankenstein runs him over.
  • Grace Parker - Heavy female reporter, she's the kind who is everybody's "dear friend."
  • Thomasina Paine - Leader of the resistance, Betsy Ross' daughter or something.
  • The President - Emperor of America who loves us all. Run down by Frankenstein.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

David Carradine running around in a leather jumpsuit, what else could you want? Well, maybe somebody other than David Carradine in the jumpsuit, but then Stallone wouldn't have anyone to stress about.

In 2000 America has been rebuilt by one man, the President has become an emperor. With this power he created the Race. Every year violent role-playing psychopaths are placed behind the wheels of high performance killing machines and sent across the country. Their goal? Finish alive with the most points from running down as many pedestrians as possible and it's all perfectly legal. See a line of doctors and nurses on the sidewalk? Thump, thump, thump: 110 points.

Lucky for us there are rebels who believe in safe highways; led by Thomasina Paine they decide to fight back. You have to feel sorry for Nero, he makes to run over what seems to be a cute little toddler and it turns out to be a doll full of explosives. The rebels really want to get Frankenstein though, he's favored to win the race and a personal friend of the President.

Having planted Annie as Frankenstein's navigator they try to capture or kill him to no avail; he is a man on a mission. His right hand was removed, in the real thing's place is an artificial one with a grenade embedded in it. (Believe it or not, Carradine makes the "hand grenade" joke - I didn't even get a chance.) Frankenstein hates the President and his race more than anyone else and he knows the winner gets to shake hands.

Okay, the entertainment value of this movie should be obvious. People are getting churned into road mush left and right with sports reporters acting like it's the Super Bowl.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • In the future marching bands suck.
  • David Carradine is a little skinny to be the imposing evil guy.
  • Every generation has one person who speaks like Howard Cosell.
  • Don't try to play matador with a car.
  • Blondes are not dumb; they are hard of hearing.
  • If you love someone set them free, if they come back turn them into road kill.
  • Stallone hates fly fishermen.
  • People do not make effective speed bumps.
  • David Carradine can kick Sylvester Stallone's ass.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - This title sequence does not bode well.
  • 7 mins - Yo Adrian! (You knew that was coming, your friends knew that was coming, the door knew that was coming...)
  • 25 mins - Pop goes the brain cavity!
  • 26 mins - Hey, how about sitting up? Thank you!
  • 26 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 37 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST CLERGY! Wait a minute, he just ran over the Pope!
  • 44 mins - "Make fast my V1 rocket?"
  • 52 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A VIOLIN!
  • 56 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 59 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A PIT CREW!
  • 76 mins - She's Batman! (Hehehehe!)

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note deathrace1.wav Junior: "Frankenstein, who lost a leg in 98, an arm in 99, with half a face and half a chest and all the guts in the world he's back! God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back."
Green Music Note deathrace2.wav Junior: "Once again: Mr. President."
The President: "I have made the United Provinces of America the greatest power in the known universe."
Green Music Note deathrace3.wav Harold: "Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein has a one hundred percent red-blooded American sense of humor."
Green Music Note deathrace4.wav Grace: "She was a great, dear friend of mine and I shall remember her forever howling down that freeway in the sky, knocking over...the angels."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipdeathrace1.mpg - 3.0m
This takes some explaining and I'm not the man to do it, but here goes. Old people are worth mondo points, but the doctors and nurses are probably in their twenties or thirties and are worth much less as road kill (this all makes sense in a weird Kevorkian sort of way). By running over the individuals worth less points it shows Frankenstein has a sense of humor.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... 9
Death Race 2000
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Brad
It was good, the music was laughable and the gore was kinda LOW!! lol, junior deserved a better death, and more PED's (pedestrian for short) could of been ran over, but its just fine the way it is now, there should be a REMAKE for 2002 or somethin' the movie was cool, specialy the cars. If you didn't play CARMAGEDDON yet, buy it or i'll turn you into a road sandwich.
Death Race 2000
Reply #26. Posted on October 13, 2002, 01:44:50 AM by Brad
Hey one more thought! the blood is extremely bright in this movie too lol, its like ULTRA-RED like on Bitmap when you choose Bright Red, like that kind of red, and when machine gun joe spits blood, pathetic paint i tell ya! >_<
Death Race 2000
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Paul Westbrook
This movie rocks. Definately a cult favorite loved by many. Forget the inferior sequel DEATHSPORT. Stallone's over the top acting is worth the viewing time in itself.The guy who played the announcer was also equally over the top, but delightful, and made the film good. Why subject yourself to nonsense like FAST AND THE FURIOUS? These guys pioneered the road racing craze. Eat your heart out Vin Diesel.
Death Race 2000
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Dave
One of my favorite B-flicks ever, and inspiration for a Drinking Game that is guaranteed to explode your liver...

- one drink for everyone that dies in some car-related fashion

- drink every time Grace calls someone a "dear, personal friend"

- drink every time the howard cosell sounding guy does that heh-heh-heh laugh.

- drink every time Mr. President loves everybody, or everybody loves him.

- drink for RANDOM GRATUITOUS nudity.

All in good fun :)
Death Race 2000
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Writer
This is kind of like a video game movie, except that the video game came out *after* the movie instead of before. (Also, if this movie had been based on the video game instead of the other way around, it would definitely count more as a success than any of the crap based on video games that you get these days.) The reviewer ought to do a page for "B" video games just as he does for "B" movies, complete with clips.
Death Race 2000
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by CyberPhoenix
I wonder if anyone noticed the HUGE hole in the plot of the movie... if frankenstien wanted to blow up the president on the winners podium after winning the race - WHY DIDN'T HE DO IT THE LAST TIME HE WON?!

Frankenstien won two Death Races prior to the one in the movie, and probably got to shake Mr.P's hand twice before, if the assasinantion was his lifes work - why didn't he do it then?

Oh well... plot was never a requierment for a good movie :)

Death Race 2000
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Nny
An absolutely excellent movie, dissapointing ending (according to some, including yours truly).

It's like Carmageddon on the big picture!!!
*and we all love Carmageddon don't we* Muahahahahaaaa!!!
Death Race 2000
Reply #32. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Just a guy
One of the best movies of all time.  I first saw it when we got cable tv installed.  It was '80 or '81.  A truly inspirational film.  
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