|Copyright 1980 Bloodstar Productions Ltd.
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Captain Ashland - It is he, GEORGE KENNEDY. This man can not have a soul.
- Trevor Marshall - Richard Crenna! (The Colonel from the Rambo movies!) Second in command of the cruise liner and our hero.
- Mrs. Marshall - Trevor's wife, that's her contribution to the plot.
- Robin and Ben - The Marshall kids, Ben must have a bladder infection since he's always looking for the restrooms.
- Nick and Lori - Two young lovers, she gets tossed overboard by Ashland and he is drowned in a cargo net by the same.
- Jackie - Lounge comic who is hoisted overboard by the evil ship.
- Mrs. Morgan - Old woman who is out to jump Ashland's bones, eats poisoned candy.
- Death Ship - A haunted Nazi interrogation vessel.
I spent about thirty minutes washing my mouth out after watching this crap. It made me feel cheap and used, and that's not easy to do to a guy. Not only does it have George Kennedy, he 's dressed up like a Nazi ship captain no less. It's poetic I'll admit, didn't know they made uniforms that big. I think there was a typo in the script, what was intended to be "Death Shit" became "Death Ship" and therein lies the tragedy. Ashland is the captain of a cruise ship everyone else is on (Marshall being the XO) when it is rammed by the cursed vessel. The survivors climb aboard the brooding freighter and soon begin encountering mishaps. Ashland also seems to be half possessed by the Nazi captain's spirit, the other half is just Kennedy's bad acting. After everyone else is dead the Marshalls flee overboard with a rubber raft, leaving Ashland to face the terrors awaiting his soul. There is exactly one cool part to this film - and it's when we keep seeing shots of the Death Ship, which is in bright sunlight, on a supposed collision course with the cruise liner, which we can only see it's lights BECAUSE IT'S PITCH DARK. Make sure you have lots of alcohol on hand before popping this tape in the VCR my friends.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Cruise ships cannot afford decent bands.
- Making out with some guy wearing a rubber mask drives women wild.
- Cruise ships don't carry lifeboats, they do carry bright red boxes equipped with oars.
- Do not pee on the deck of a ghost ship.
- The open ocean is very calm and has muddy water.
- Things are much more threatening when filmed upside down.
- Kids will quite happily drink brown water.
- Nazi's could not cook worth a damn.
- George Kennedy can run pretty fast for a fat old guy.
- 1 min - George Kennedy? For THE LOVE OF GOD NO!
- 8 mins - I think these ships are about to collide on the international dateline. It's day for one and night for the other.
- 13 mins - This is stock footage from "The Poseidon Adventure" or something.
- 15 mins - How the heck did this eclectic group survive? They were on different parts of the ship!
- 26 mins - Somebody go and turn off the winch then swing him over the deck, jeez.
- 57 mins - I'd be a serious "we're all sleeping in the same room" dude.
- 62 mins - Hey, naked Lori! But she's covered in blood from the shower and can't get out! Why is she spinning around?
- 68 mins - Slow motion scene! Why? Arrgghhhhh!
- 73 mins - How the heck did Nick get outside? Bad editing! Bad!
- 89 mins - Damn you George Kennedy, and damn me too...
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Ashland: "Signal him to alter course." |
Sailor: "We have sir!"
Ashland: "Well signal him again damn it!"
||Mrs. Morgan: "This old ship seems to have a life of it's own."
||Robin: "I'm scared." |
Ben: "You're scared? I'm scared shirtless."
Robin: "It's shitless, oops!"
||Ashland: "This ship needs blood Marshall..."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|The "International Dateline" explanation might be a little silly, but it is the best I can do. Do you mean that I should honestly believe the director did not care enough about this movie to at least film two ships in the daytime?
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #1. Posted on January 25, 1999, 11:21:50 PM by email@example.com
Hehehehe! No, that was Nick being projected on. He drowns in the cargo hold about two minutes later.
Reply #2. Posted on February 16, 1999, 01:01:24 PM by Warren H.
Mein Gott! What a crappy movie!
Reply #3. Posted on March 02, 1999, 09:48:24 AM by Jonathon Dabell
This was a pretty awful movie, but it was also bloody hilarious.
Reply #4. Posted on March 08, 1999, 10:31:07 AM by KennyB
Yes, this movie has some funny (and glaring) bloopers in it, but hey, it's a horror movie, that's part of the fun. Overall, though, I thought the scenes on the haunted ship to be creepy and atmospheric. If only they'd wrapped that cool atmosphere around a script that made sense! It's a shame this one isn't more liked, because the whole "ghost ship" genre has been greatly underused by horror/suspense film makers.
Reply #5. Posted on May 15, 2000, 10:22:30 AM by
I have mixed feelings about this movie. On one hand the atmosphere could be good, on the other hand, the movie blows ass. The only part I liked was Mancuso getting drowned in the cargo hold. Otherwise, ugh. George Kennedy stole my soul.
Reply #6. Posted on April 08, 1999, 11:52:42 AM by Anonymous
This movie isn't all that bad. I also don't know why you hate George Kennedy so much. I always found him to be so bad he's good.
Reply #7. Posted on April 10, 1999, 11:31:17 AM by NetFrog Alpha
There was definitely something going on in this movie, but for the most part it was actually pretty boring. I found the atmosphere generated by the haunted ship to be pretty creepy, and the Nazi undertones added to that effect. On a somewhat similar note, the newer film "Virus" was far too much like this film to be of any value. If you see this, skip "Virus."
Reply #8. Posted on June 22, 1999, 11:41:29 PM by J-Nator
This movie IS stupid, however, I do think the haunted atmosphere and the Nazi overtones are creepy as hell. This movie creeped me out a little when I first saw it about 12 years ago, the repetitive shots of the hydrolics stayed with me I think. But the characters are all idiots, save for the head guy who actually gives a believable performance as a man who is trying to save his family. The swarmy comedian deserved a worse death, and, if I was to ever board a haunted Nazi ship that is obviously trying to kill me and others, I like to think that I would avoid DRINKING IT'S WATER AND EATING IT'S 40 YEAR OLD FOOD!!!
also: have fun counting the number of times the phrase "We have to get off this ship!" is said
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