|Copyright 1980 Bloodstar Productions Ltd.
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Captain Ashland - It is he, GEORGE KENNEDY. This man can not have a soul.
- Trevor Marshall - Richard Crenna! (The Colonel from the Rambo movies!) Second in command of the cruise liner and our hero.
- Mrs. Marshall - Trevor's wife, that's her contribution to the plot.
- Robin and Ben - The Marshall kids, Ben must have a bladder infection since he's always looking for the restrooms.
- Nick and Lori - Two young lovers, she gets tossed overboard by Ashland and he is drowned in a cargo net by the same.
- Jackie - Lounge comic who is hoisted overboard by the evil ship.
- Mrs. Morgan - Old woman who is out to jump Ashland's bones, eats poisoned candy.
- Death Ship - A haunted Nazi interrogation vessel.
I spent about thirty minutes washing my mouth out after watching this crap. It made me feel cheap and used, and that's not easy to do to a guy. Not only does it have George Kennedy, he 's dressed up like a Nazi ship captain no less. It's poetic I'll admit, didn't know they made uniforms that big. I think there was a typo in the script, what was intended to be "Death Shit" became "Death Ship" and therein lies the tragedy. Ashland is the captain of a cruise ship everyone else is on (Marshall being the XO) when it is rammed by the cursed vessel. The survivors climb aboard the brooding freighter and soon begin encountering mishaps. Ashland also seems to be half possessed by the Nazi captain's spirit, the other half is just Kennedy's bad acting. After everyone else is dead the Marshalls flee overboard with a rubber raft, leaving Ashland to face the terrors awaiting his soul. There is exactly one cool part to this film - and it's when we keep seeing shots of the Death Ship, which is in bright sunlight, on a supposed collision course with the cruise liner, which we can only see it's lights BECAUSE IT'S PITCH DARK. Make sure you have lots of alcohol on hand before popping this tape in the VCR my friends.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Cruise ships cannot afford decent bands.
- Making out with some guy wearing a rubber mask drives women wild.
- Cruise ships don't carry lifeboats, they do carry bright red boxes equipped with oars.
- Do not pee on the deck of a ghost ship.
- The open ocean is very calm and has muddy water.
- Things are much more threatening when filmed upside down.
- Kids will quite happily drink brown water.
- Nazi's could not cook worth a damn.
- George Kennedy can run pretty fast for a fat old guy.
- 1 min - George Kennedy? For THE LOVE OF GOD NO!
- 8 mins - I think these ships are about to collide on the international dateline. It's day for one and night for the other.
- 13 mins - This is stock footage from "The Poseidon Adventure" or something.
- 15 mins - How the heck did this eclectic group survive? They were on different parts of the ship!
- 26 mins - Somebody go and turn off the winch then swing him over the deck, jeez.
- 57 mins - I'd be a serious "we're all sleeping in the same room" dude.
- 62 mins - Hey, naked Lori! But she's covered in blood from the shower and can't get out! Why is she spinning around?
- 68 mins - Slow motion scene! Why? Arrgghhhhh!
- 73 mins - How the heck did Nick get outside? Bad editing! Bad!
- 89 mins - Damn you George Kennedy, and damn me too...
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Ashland: "Signal him to alter course." |
Sailor: "We have sir!"
Ashland: "Well signal him again damn it!"
||Mrs. Morgan: "This old ship seems to have a life of it's own."
||Robin: "I'm scared." |
Ben: "You're scared? I'm scared shirtless."
Robin: "It's shitless, oops!"
||Ashland: "This ship needs blood Marshall..."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|The "International Dateline" explanation might be a little silly, but it is the best I can do. Do you mean that I should honestly believe the director did not care enough about this movie to at least film two ships in the daytime?
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #9. Posted on July 16, 1999, 03:42:30 AM by Squishy
Watch for the woman drowning in blood in the shower; moments later, Kennedy is seen carting away AN INFLATABLE LOVE DOLL COVERED WITH RED PAINT under one arm, which is supposed to be her body! Oh, MERCY!
Reply #10. Posted on July 18, 1999, 10:58:47 AM by Ian C.
This movie was fairly bad until Crenna and Mancuso found the Nazi room. For a short time the film actually scared me. Did someone else direct those 5 minutes?
Reply #11. Posted on August 27, 1999, 06:54:00 AM by email@example.com
I saw this on TV about 15 years ago and remember it being hilarious because it was so bad. Where can I get a copy to re-live this moment (seriously!!).
Reply #12. Posted on October 02, 1999, 12:37:15 AM by firstname.lastname@example.org
I have felt for years that this film is the absolutely worst, most unwatchable movie I have ever seen.
It came on TV in the late 80's a couple of times and I just could'nt sit through the whole thing .
The whole humourless atmophere of this film made me sick . The Nazi theme was just a cheap means of adding some sence of horror an already dismal excuse of a film.
I absolutely HAVE to see this film again . Next time I'll make myself see it in its entirety !
Reply #13. Posted on January 07, 2000, 08:57:25 AM by email@example.com
I recently saw this movie on video ($2 weekly) after seeing it as a late night movie last year
Things that annoy me about Death Ship:
-why are the kids in a different cabin to the parents? The parents are already convinced that the Captain is insane
-why doesn't the sister make that annoying boy take a leak in the hallway?
-why doesn't the Captain kill the two kids when he sees them in the hallway? He's already proved that he's pretty evil
Also, in the scene where Nick is having the Nazi film projected onto him and the good captain is trying to demolish the projector - why don't they look behind them and look for another projector?
I was also grossed out by the woman kissing that latex mask...but that's just me
Reply #14. Posted on January 13, 2000, 07:38:46 AM by Mureed Ahmad
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this movie.. i saw it 14 years ago.. i remember crackin up as a 8 yr old.. HAHAHA
Reply #15. Posted on February 13, 2000, 05:00:52 PM by LastSummer9@aol.com
s**t, I love this movie!! It's one hell of a crap film. I like the scene where this old lady eats some candy. I think it's always a bad idea to eat some old s**t you find on a rusty ghost ship! I have a copy of this movie and I'm proud of it!
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Tony
Well I finally tracked down a copy of this movie, I have been looking for it forever. I love this movie. Just a couple of days ago I bought the new movie "Ghost Ship" that too was a really great movie, quite similar in some ways. Neither movie is what I would call scary, but they have a certain attractive creepiness to them that catches my attention.
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