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DESTROY ALL MONSTERS - 4 Slimes
Rated G
Copyright 1968 Toho
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Godzilla - King of monsters, forced to do the Kilaaks' dirty work and not happy about it.
  • Anguirus - Still a feisty little guy, though he is the unfortunate volunteer to do an impromptu presentation about gravity. Sir Isaac Newton should be glad it was only raining apples that fateful day.
  • Rodan - Friendly enough in his roost on Ogasawara, we even see him fishing (for porpoises) at one point.
  • Ghidrah - Summoned by the Kilaaks to defeat Earth's monsters, but the home team puts a serious hurting on him.
  • Manda - While under alien control he crunches a few cities, that's about it for Manda.
  • Mothra - In caterpillar form the giant insect is forced to destroy sections of China.
  • Gorosaurus - Impressive in the battle against Ghidrah, his lethal jump kick even made me say ouch.
  • Baragon, Spiga, Varan, Minya - Along for the ride, though I believe Baragon did assist in the destruction of Paris. Either that or whoever did the American dub just did not care.
  • Katsuo - Heroic captain of the rocketship SY-3.
  • Kyoko - Katsuo's love interest whose mind is controlled by the Kilaaks for a time.
  • Dr. Yoshida - Spokesman and scientist, obviously chosen for his public speaking skills.
  • The Kilaaks - Evil alien race intent on enslaving mankind, too bad they turn into lumps of rock at room temperature.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

In 1999 the world's monsters have been captured and contained on Ogasawara Island, where they may be studied in a safe environment. Safe as anyone can be trying to check the body temperature of a radioactive reptile taller than most buildings (hope they were not using a rectal device). I was very amused with the Godzilla repellent, now there is something worthy of a Nobel Prize.

When not coming up with things to annoy the KCLU (Kaiju Civil Liberties Union) scientists have developed advanced rockets which make spaceflight routine, the crowning achievement is the SY-3. At some point a horrible accident killed the team assigned to create a practical spacesuit and the brave intersolar pioneers are forced to wear demeaning yellow slickers.

Shortly after Kyoko arrives to join the Ogasawara Island researchers everyone is overcome by a mysterious gas. As the United Nations tries to establish communications with the remote island reports flood in of the monsters attacking major cities. After losing a few million constituents the politicians are really interested in what the heck is going on. Katsuo and his crew are directed to investigate. They find that the Kilaaks have taken control of the island, it's monsters, and even the researchers! Escaping an ambush they flee, but Kyoko disappears during the fighting.

With the monsters destroying everything in sight and the Kilaaks' base guarded by Godzilla a desperate plan is hatched to find and destroy the alien's moon base. Using the rocketship, and it's heavily armed groundcar, Katsuo again defeats the Kilaaks and returns with their master control device. It is um, very cool, yeah.

King Ghidrah is the alien's final line of defense against Earth's monsters, thereby setting the stage for a melee never seen before. No less than eleven kaiju make appearances in this film, I get a head rush just thinking about it.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Rodan eats only tuna safe dolphin, hehehe!
  • If you see noxious gases coming from under a door then you probably should not open it.
  • Rain slickers and silver tape do not a spacesuit make.
  • Getting shot in the forehead will make you belch.
  • Godzilla makes an impressive guard dog.
  • Some buildings in Japan have rocket launchers built into them.
  • High voltage power lines should not be made from flammable materials.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - It is 1999 and not a Prince song in sight, this is pure (and lovely) fantasy.
  • 8 mins - Does Godzilla have gas?
  • 11 mins - Right about now the French are wondering if giant monsters understand white flags.
  • 21 mins - Yes, they are called asteroids.
  • 29 mins - It was embedded in his head, of course it is not a hearing aide.
  • 44 mins - I didn't think those earrings matched either, but wasn't that a little extreme?
  • 70 mins - The Kilaaks only live in temperatures of several thousands of degrees? Then how were those humans standing next to them?
  • 83 mins - Somehow the Earth forces have a video feed from inside of the Kilaaks' base...

Quotes: 

  • News Anchorman: "The major cities in the world are being destroyed, one by one, by the monsters. Moscow by Rodan, Peking by Mothra, and London by Manda."
  • Katsuo: "Hold on a minute, that's a UFO out there."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note destroyall1.wav Narrator: "All of the Earth's monsters have been collected and are living together in a place called 'Monsterland.'"
Green Music Note destroyall2.wav News Anchorman: "Here's a special news bulletin, Godzilla is now in New York City."
Green Music Note destroyall3.wav Katsuo: "All right, let's go! Time is running out for the human race!"
Green Music Note destroyall4.wav Radio Operator: "This is the moonbase, go ahead."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipdestroyall1.mpg - 1.9m
Ghidrah rolled on in and was talking all sorts of trash, but now G and his crew is putting the smack dab down on him (see how silly that sounds).

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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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