|Copyright 1974 CIE Productions
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Dolemite - Rudy Ray Moore! He's big, he's mean, he's a lover and a fighter. He's not really a good guy, but he's better than the bad guys, he's Dolemite!
- Queen Bee - Dolemite's madam, she has been running, er, business while he was in prison.
- One Dozen Kung Fu Hookers - Dolemite's girls, put through training by Queen Bee to make them a lethal force.
- The Reverend - Minister with some general celibacy issues.
- Blakeley - FBI agent who wants to help Dolemite.
- Mitchell and White - Pair of corrupt FBI officers, both of them look like used car salesmen.
- The Creeper - Odd little drug addict who hangs around hamburger stands. Gunned down by Willie Green's men.
- Willie Green - The nemesis of any respectable prostitution ring and Dolemite's rival, takes a fall.
- Willie Green's Men - A bunch of thugs and bouncers, no match for Dolemite and his Kung Fu Hookers.
|Any movie which makes me take notice of the language is an eye opener to start with. When it involves a very large jiving man who commands an army of hookers trained in martial arts I get excited. Hence we have this piece of work. Dolemite was set up by Mitchell and White (Who take their orders from the Mayor, who has a business relationship with Willie Green.) on drug and theft charges. When the prison warden notices crime is still skyrocketing he makes Dolemite a deal, clean up the streets and you're a free man. ("Hey boss, we imprisoned this guy, but the crime rate is going up. Obviously he wasn't the problem, guess we should let him out...") What follows is chaos, crazy fight scenes, gratuitous sex, and some amazingly funny dialog. One of the first things accomplished is getting Dolemite's nightclub back from Willie Green, which is neatly taken care of by a secret compartment full of cash under the floor. (Queen Bee had to give up the club for borrowing money.) Willie is not very happy with losing his cash cow, when he shows up with a small army of henchmen to shut the club down all heck breaks loose. I love the martial arts touch, nobody just throws punches, have you ever seen a girl wearing polyester bell bottoms use Ti Kwan Leep on someone? Good stuff, I assure you. On top of all this you have our title character's wardrobe, any man confident enough to wear those has to be tough. |
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- The FBI does not require search warrants.
- Never ask some girl, who is holding a switchblade, to help you.
- Hookers are prone to mood swings.
- Poetic street dissertations are a valid form of ID.
- Bad edits really can ruin a sex scene.
- Hookers are all blackbelts.
- Compound interest sucks.
- I really don't need to see some fat guy naked, especially from the rear.
- It takes less than ten seconds to strangle someone.
- Shooting with two pistols is much easier if you are bowlegged.
- 4 mins - Somebody was paid to choreograph this fight scene?
- 11 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 13 mins - Where did all the dead guys go?
- 16 mins - I want a red velour couch!
- 19 mins - That's quite a massage, hey, what sort of place is this anyway?
- 19 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 21 mins - Oops, boom mike...
- 40 mins - Now that is one big woman.
- 41 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST DOMINOS!
- 44 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 66 mins - Enough of this dance scene, please?
- 77 mins - Good towel, good towel...stay...
- Ending Credits - Special thanks to: Mr. Fat Burger and The Geisha House of Beautiful Women.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Queen Bee: "Me and these girls had to sell p***y on the God damn corner trying to save your black ass. We almost lost this house."
||Dude: "By the way, who are you waiting for anyway?" |
Girl: "I'm waiting for Dolemite!"
Dude: "For who?"
Dolemite: "Dolemite motherf***er, you heard her."
||Dolemite: "I'm going to let 'em know that Dolemite is my name and f***ing up motherf***er's is my game!"
||Dolemite: "You rat soup eating honky motherf***er!"
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #9. Posted on July 20, 2000, 10:58:46 PM by Greg C
I HAD to see Dolemite after seeing the take-offs on MadTV, I'm so glad i rented it, I've never actually fallen off of a chair laughing until today. I couldnt help myself when Dolemite "kicks" the "FBI" guys partner, he actually throws his leg about a foot above the guys head, a THUMP sound effect is added and he flies back... all i have to say is " WHAT THE s**t IS THIS?" haha THANX
Reply #10. Posted on July 21, 2000, 01:34:41 AM by Brian Lindsey
A monument to tacky, amateurish filmmaking at its absolute nadir, DOLEMITE is the hands-down funniest film Iīve seen in years. Itīs breathtakingly awful, and a fun-filled viewing experience precisely because of it! The acting is jaw-droppingly bad... The average high school play is an Olivier stage triumph compared to the non-performances here. Action? I personally took part in better-choreographed "martial arts sequences" when my childhood friends & I used to play "kung fu warriors" in the back yard. And the clothes!!!... Dolemite is a man of unique style to be sure. It all just adds to the fun.
If you donīt mind cursing (thereīs a lot of it here), DOLEMITE provides sure-fire laughs of the knee-slapping "I canīt believe I just heard/saw that!" variety. The bold, audacious Rudy Ray Moore has an undeniable screen presence... despite the fact he canīt act. And if you just donīt like blaxploitation pix, well... youīre just a "rat soup eatinī m----- f-----!"
Reply #11. Posted on July 29, 2000, 02:47:14 PM by Mega24
DOLEMITE is the king of Blaxploitation films. I agree with email@example.com's assessment of Rudy Ray's films. I would pay money to see more of this hilarious garbage...and isn't making money the goal. Rudy Ray is probably laying up in his crib right now, drinking some malt liquor and nailing some ho...laughing his muthah-f**kin ass off, you honkeys!
Reply #12. Posted on August 17, 2000, 12:52:41 AM by plan 9
Dolemite is da King!! I've seen this movie over 20 times - this makes me either retarded or "in the know" don't pass judgement on me until you see it - s**t dawg I own it!!
Not bad for a rat soup eatin' honk muthaf**ka!!!!!
Reply #13. Posted on September 11, 2000, 03:07:41 PM by SMELLY BASTARD
DOLEMITE FOR PRESIDENT!
Reply #14. Posted on October 01, 2000, 12:30:22 AM by pete
this movie is amazing! the part where he rips the guys heart out with his bare hand!!! that was awesome!!!! i love the editing and the fighting... notice in dolemite II they speed up all of the fighting scenes. it's intense.
Reply #15. Posted on October 02, 2000, 09:09:27 AM by BTalbott
Dolemite is the true Mack Daddy! A real Pimp! He is the one that started it all. As he has said before, "I was through with it before y'all even knew what to do with it." Dolemite and Dolemite II has enough funny one liners, you will not run out for years. Just the horrible plots and production will keep you in stitches. The stuff he says and does is unreal. I do think you have to be familiar with "Black Culture" to truly understand and appreciate this film and character. BUT BY ALL MEANS... DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND RENT THIS FOR A GOOD LAUGH. "I aint lyin'!" - Dolemite
"It's like the bath tub said to the toilet... I get just as much ass as you get, but I don't have to put up with all of that s**t" - Dolemite
Reply #16. Posted on October 24, 2000, 03:24:45 PM by berard
This is the best damn movie ever made. I went out and bought it after I rented it.
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