DOUBLE DRAGON
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| Rated PG-13
| | Copyright 1993 Scanbox International, Greenleaf Productions, and Imperial Entertainment
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Billy Lee - Scott Wolf! Brash and younger of the two brothers, he has to wear the gay blue outfit.
- Jimmy Lee - Older and slightly bitter of the pair who hates lunch boxes. Scott Wolf's love pulls him from the brink... (Soft music here.)
- Marian - Alyssa Milano! Spunky female leader of "The Power Corps." I think she was caught in a paint factory explosion.
- Satori - Woman who adopted Billy and Jimmy after they were orphaned, she also tried to keep the Double Dragon Amulets out of evil hands. Fried by an explosion and dies.
- Chief Delario - Marian's father and head of the New Angeles Police Department.
- Huey and Lewis - Two goons.
- Bo Abobo - Steroid popping gang member who looks like a giant turnip after Shuko experiments on him.
- Lash - Sexy blonde woman who works for Shuko. You have to love any girl that good with a whip.
- Koga Shuko - Robert Patrick! (The T-1000 from Terminator 2.) A corrupt martial arts master turned tycoon who will stop at nothing to obtain the Double Dragon Amulets. Ends up in jail.
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I still can't believe this cast, go figure huh? Lovingly inspired by the hot new arcade game (sounds like I'm selling something, doesn't it?) this is an hour and a half of HORRID ACTING.
Here's the plot which casts Scott Wolf as a martial arts fighter: Los Angeles was destroyed by the big quake and is now New Angeles, large sections of which are controlled by gangs. The two Lee brothers have been raised by Satori, who is also protecting one half of the mystical Double Dragon Amulet. Koga Shuko has obtained the amulet's other half and will stop at nothing to complete the talisman. So Satori dies, but delays the bad guys long enough for Jimmy and Billy to escape. These two goof balls then hook up with Marian to avenge Satori's death. Huge collage of kicking and punching, the good guys win, the bad guys go to jail, the end.
What did you expect? All of Shuko's evil warriors are hopelessly inept of course and he can't defeat the adolescent brothers even after joining the amulets together (he briefly has both). Keep in mind that these two spend half the movie looking at each other and screaming. (Abobo shows up - scream, two dozen gang members attack - scream, somebody puts mayonnaise on french fries - scream.) Michael Berryman (Pluto from "The Hills have Eyes") was kind enough to appear, though I still can't figure out why he used "snarf" as a noun.
It's best summed up by commenting that the two brothers were nicknamed "Ugh-Lee" and "Home-Lee" in this movie which was rather "Sill-Lee." |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Old monks can't run very fast.
- Karate does not involve nuggies.
- In the future cars are powered by burning newspaper.
- Madonna is secretly in love with Tom Arnold.
- Basketballs are better weapons than nunchucks.
- Shadows can strangle people.
- Canned cheese is bad for internal combustion engines.
- Two adolescent males (one of which is Scott Wolf) can defeat the entire gang population of a major city.
- Never peek in on a ninja who has a metal pole.
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- 2 mins - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST MONKS!
- 10 mins - A midget, cool!
- 14 mins - Is this a movie or Spyhunter?
- 32 mins - I'll never eat turnips again, I swear.
- 46 mins - A Postal Service gang?
- 55 mins - Marian is torturing Abobo by feeding him spinach...
- 64 mins - Serious rope burn.
- 78 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ARCADE!
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | doubledragon1.wav
| Billy: "My whole life just flashed before my eyes. Dude, I sleep a lot."
| | doubledragon2.wav
| Satori: "The medallion acts as a spiritual amplifier, it magnifies the power inside you."
| | doubledragon3.wav
| Shuko: "I just want domination of one major American City! Is that too much to ask for? Is it, is it?"
| | doubledragon4.wav
| Demon Ninja: "You're weak, like your father."
Billy: "You're ugly, like your mother!"
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Double Dragon
Reply #9. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Steve Bentley
You know how H. P. Lovecraft wrote that there were things in the universe mankind was not meant to see? Yep, he was talking about this one...
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Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Fritz
Why!!! Double Dragon was a big part of my childhood, their was no need to make a film of this (along with Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter).
Maybe Final Fantasy will break the bad video game to movie mould.
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Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
The best thing about this was the fact that Shuko is a girl's name...Think about that the next time you watch it.
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Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Emma
Always loved this one, don't know why though =)
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Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Kenner
This movie is really pathetic. The actionscenes are tired and cliched and Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf are numb and they try to insert lame comic relief, Robert Patrick is Hammy. And Alyssa Milano (Oscar winner from "Embrace Of The Vampire" :) ) is just plain bad.
The movie might work for kids, but anyone over the age of 12 will be bored to tears.
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Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by AlphaWoolf
The ONE THING that might have given this movie any redeeming value would have been some Alyssa Milano nudity. Unfortunately for all involved, this is the ONE MOVIE in which she does NOT shed her clothes. Such a pity. And yet, for overall entertainment value it beats Van Damme's "Street Fighter" movie (at least no major talents are wasted in this movie).
Ironically enough, to see a truer film adaption (IMO) of the Double Dragon game, check out Van Damme's "Cyborg", perhaps his finest film (that's not saying much, I know).
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Reply #15. Posted on January 30, 2003, 04:02:28 PM by tessai
Did you notice that for brothers the 2 goofballs do not look very much alike.Go figure
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Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Scott Wolf
I worked hard on this movie, dammit, not as hard as I worked on Mark Dasascos after shooting wrapped up for the day ;) The movie rools and does not suck. If it wasn't for this movie, I woulda never got noticed for Party of Five, besides did anyone ever notice I look kinda like the guy who played DJ's bf in Full House, same first name and everything :) Alyssa Milano looked great, too, in this.
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