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Not Rated
Copyright 1997 Hong Kong Connection. (I believe the film was made in the early 80's.)
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • (Work with me here, there were NO credits)
  • Cha Le and Jun - Virgin boy who is becoming a monk, she is the girlfriend who won't give it up.
  • Old Devil - Powerful evil spirit, he has this cannonball which spits out mini cannonballs. Rat Face and Cha Le finally defeat him.
  • Rat Face - Alcoholic with a face like some rodent, he uses very powerful Kung Fu though.
  • Granny - Cha Le's grandmother, she is a powerful martial arts witch. I think the actor was a man. Killed by Princess.
  • The Watermelon Monster - This thing is a riot! It's a giant toothed cannonball!
  • Princess - Cult leader, very pretty and her sash is deadly. Ends up enslaved to Old Devil and killed by Cha Le.
  • Fat Chick and Shining Knight - Princess' cultists, Fat Chick has this weird "antenna" hair style.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

I was entirely unprepared for this movie, it is a confusing but hilarious roller coaster of Kung Fu mayhem! Words can hardly describe the number of crazy kicks, punches, and special weapons you are treated to. And now for the equally absurd plot. Rat Face is tasked with finding a virgin male born on the 15th of August to perform a temple ritual. Cha Le (a virgin born on the 15th of August) is learning the art of being a martial arts using witch from his manly grandmother. He must retrieve the "secret document" from a hidden room, reaching it involves many dangers, and The Watermelon Monster guards the script. Princess and her cult often collect money from people, they can be very violent about not contributing. Old Devil wants the "secret document" to gain more power or something. The situation comes to a head at the temple ceremony where Rat Face and Cha Le must battle Old Devil. Confused? Watching it won't help - but you will be laughing and asking, "What just happened?" over and over (keep the remote handy for rewind). Never in my life have I seen so many people being pulled or suspended by wires, or stuffed dummies being thrown against walls, etc... ...and The Watermelon Monster, who in the heck thought this thing up? You really have to see this movie my friends, even if you don't like fu flicks.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Kung Fu defies all laws of physics, Einstein knew E=whatever the Shaolin monks decide.
  • Paper is a terrific insulator against fire.
  • Fat women fight by spinning or falling on you.
  • Asian girls say, "I want to cuddle." instead of, "Hump my brains out." but the result is the same.
  • Ladies: don't have sex in your deceased husband's tomb with the new boyfriend.
  • Getting a wine gourd jammed up your ass hurts.
  • Wearing a penis suit does not increase your fighting prowess and is likely to result in bodily harm.
  • Kung Fu requires ventriloquism.
  • People need their teeth in the afterlife.
  • Alcoholics never make it as wine tasters.
  • The Devil is susceptible to being smacked with 4X4's. (As in a piece of wood.)

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - What is this? Some strange wicker bumper car being driven by a drunken rat man?
  • 9 mins - I think granny is a man BABY!
  • 13 mins - What in the world is that thing? (The Watermelon Monster.)
  • 15 mins - He painted hairs on his what? Nevermind...
  • 21 mins - That corpse just slapped the guy's behind!
  • 25 mins - That's a darn big sword.
  • 43 mins - We get the idea, she's communing with the dead, get on with it.
  • 76 mins - They sure like to suspend the actors on wires in this movie.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note dwutang1.wav Cha Le: "Wow! The Watermelon Monster!"
Green Music Note dwutang2.wav The Watermelon Monster's annoying screeching. (Imagine this going on for 2 minutes.)
Green Music Note dwutang3.wav Princess: "Who are you?"
Old Devil: "I'm the Devil!"
Green Music Note dwutang4.wav Old Devil: "Give me the book or I'll kill you all."
Monk: "Don't threaten us and get off our roof!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipdwutang1.mpg - 2.7m
The Watermelon Monster! There is so little I can say to accurately describe this creature, let alone this scene.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by djfin
this is one wacky plot, but it's funny as hell!  I'm gonna list off the best parts

1) that guy (forgot his name) wakes up and is just walking    around when the old devil flys in and starts kicking his ass.
the look on the guys's great.

2) that guy (whoever he is) walks into the house, the bannana guy jumps down, and the guy starts beating the hell out of him
for no apparent reason.

3) the crazy dude who launches bombs at people blows up that one guy...then picks him up...except that he's a doll or something....i saw some stiches on his head...

4) "you will marry a old man with a red nose and buck teeth" line ever.

5) "you will do as i say or grow old immediately" ...second best line ever.

6) the part where the old devil is throwing little explosive
airplanes at people...uh....i think they're airplanes...

crack kills!
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #18. Posted on January 31, 2001, 03:54:40 AM by whatsittoyou?
I think Rat Face and Granny are the same actor.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Masterblaster-rob
I really love this movie!!! Its so fast paced and whacked out (qualitys I like in a movie) and that Granny, when I saw
her Steven Reagal's old WWF theme (the stupid "man's man one) popped in my head LOL! I hope therest of the Wu-Tang films are this cool
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Hei Long
Wu Tang kicks f**king ASS!  Review "Wu Tang Temple" and "Wu Tang Master", both are wicked and both have the same guys in it (Rat Face and Cha Le are brothers in real life I think).  The Granny is the same guy as Rat Face (no s**t).  These flicks are SO crazy, you can tell why the Wu Tang Clan love these kung fu flicks and how the films influenced their music. Kick ass site!  Keep up the good work!
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Clif
I LOVE Drunken Wu-Tang! The only movie that comes close (and actually surpasses) it is Mafia vs Ninja.
There two are my all-time favorte zany kung-fu flicks!
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #22. Posted on April 24, 2002, 06:05:55 PM by Jake
I own this movie, along with a bunch of other Wu-Tang movies.  It is one of my favorites.  Anybody who liked this, I would recommend Invincible Super Chan.  It is apart of the Wu-Tang Liquid Sword Collection.  It says on the box that it is banned in 34 countries.  It comes complete with people being vertically chopped in half, flying up 200 ft. cliffs and fighting little people!!  Drunken Wu Tang and Invincible Super Chan are MUST HAVES.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by dethface
This movie is so bad and I've watched it so many times that it literally makes me nauseous to think about it.  This is perhaps the most insane film ever created.  You can only understand by watching it.  I recommend you do so, and then you can join the club of people who feel sick when they hear the phrase "Drunken Wu Tang".

Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by warlorde
This movie is kick ass stuff! Crazy as hell, and all that.
The humor is awesome and the Watermelon monster is #1!
Watch this one and Godz of Wu Tang! You can't go wrong!
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