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Not Rated
Copyright 1997 Hong Kong Connection. (I believe the film was made in the early 80's.)
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • (Work with me here, there were NO credits)
  • Cha Le and Jun - Virgin boy who is becoming a monk, she is the girlfriend who won't give it up.
  • Old Devil - Powerful evil spirit, he has this cannonball which spits out mini cannonballs. Rat Face and Cha Le finally defeat him.
  • Rat Face - Alcoholic with a face like some rodent, he uses very powerful Kung Fu though.
  • Granny - Cha Le's grandmother, she is a powerful martial arts witch. I think the actor was a man. Killed by Princess.
  • The Watermelon Monster - This thing is a riot! It's a giant toothed cannonball!
  • Princess - Cult leader, very pretty and her sash is deadly. Ends up enslaved to Old Devil and killed by Cha Le.
  • Fat Chick and Shining Knight - Princess' cultists, Fat Chick has this weird "antenna" hair style.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

I was entirely unprepared for this movie, it is a confusing but hilarious roller coaster of Kung Fu mayhem! Words can hardly describe the number of crazy kicks, punches, and special weapons you are treated to. And now for the equally absurd plot. Rat Face is tasked with finding a virgin male born on the 15th of August to perform a temple ritual. Cha Le (a virgin born on the 15th of August) is learning the art of being a martial arts using witch from his manly grandmother. He must retrieve the "secret document" from a hidden room, reaching it involves many dangers, and The Watermelon Monster guards the script. Princess and her cult often collect money from people, they can be very violent about not contributing. Old Devil wants the "secret document" to gain more power or something. The situation comes to a head at the temple ceremony where Rat Face and Cha Le must battle Old Devil. Confused? Watching it won't help - but you will be laughing and asking, "What just happened?" over and over (keep the remote handy for rewind). Never in my life have I seen so many people being pulled or suspended by wires, or stuffed dummies being thrown against walls, etc... ...and The Watermelon Monster, who in the heck thought this thing up? You really have to see this movie my friends, even if you don't like fu flicks.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Kung Fu defies all laws of physics, Einstein knew E=whatever the Shaolin monks decide.
  • Paper is a terrific insulator against fire.
  • Fat women fight by spinning or falling on you.
  • Asian girls say, "I want to cuddle." instead of, "Hump my brains out." but the result is the same.
  • Ladies: don't have sex in your deceased husband's tomb with the new boyfriend.
  • Getting a wine gourd jammed up your ass hurts.
  • Wearing a penis suit does not increase your fighting prowess and is likely to result in bodily harm.
  • Kung Fu requires ventriloquism.
  • People need their teeth in the afterlife.
  • Alcoholics never make it as wine tasters.
  • The Devil is susceptible to being smacked with 4X4's. (As in a piece of wood.)

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - What is this? Some strange wicker bumper car being driven by a drunken rat man?
  • 9 mins - I think granny is a man BABY!
  • 13 mins - What in the world is that thing? (The Watermelon Monster.)
  • 15 mins - He painted hairs on his what? Nevermind...
  • 21 mins - That corpse just slapped the guy's behind!
  • 25 mins - That's a darn big sword.
  • 43 mins - We get the idea, she's communing with the dead, get on with it.
  • 76 mins - They sure like to suspend the actors on wires in this movie.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note dwutang1.wav Cha Le: "Wow! The Watermelon Monster!"
Green Music Note dwutang2.wav The Watermelon Monster's annoying screeching. (Imagine this going on for 2 minutes.)
Green Music Note dwutang3.wav Princess: "Who are you?"
Old Devil: "I'm the Devil!"
Green Music Note dwutang4.wav Old Devil: "Give me the book or I'll kill you all."
Monk: "Don't threaten us and get off our roof!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipdwutang1.mpg - 2.7m
The Watermelon Monster! There is so little I can say to accurately describe this creature, let alone this scene.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #9. Posted on January 29, 2000, 07:01:43 PM by
cool review.I believe(guess) this movie's correct title is either Taoism Drunkard or Miracle Fighters pt.2.It's too bad that arena/eatsern heroes dont have these films in widescreen.There is only a couple of them that are widescreen.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #10. Posted on March 03, 2000, 10:45:28 PM by
I've been hooked.  The Wu Tang series is going to be my next collection.  We just watched Drunken Wu Tang and I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #11. Posted on April 06, 2000, 12:30:05 PM by
Wow!  Yeah, this movie was really bad and funny.  I'm surprised no one has commented on the pedophiliac Rat Face checking out all the little boys penises.  Is it me or was that just downright creepy?
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #12. Posted on April 27, 2000, 10:14:18 PM by
First of all... I just love the crazy antics of the groin munching robot and the bannana monster.  I don't see how you people can't just love it.  It has to be one of the funniest kung fu movies in a long time.  oh yeah... and by the way... you know the grandma? isn't it odd how she sounds 16?
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #13. Posted on April 27, 2000, 01:22:47 PM by
Okay, this is a tough one.  I bought it for $10 and I haven't been able to get all the way through it yet its so bad.  Some of the scenes (mostly on this site) are funny, but its tough to endure.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #14. Posted on May 25, 2000, 06:06:51 PM by Lee Tha Buddha Junkie from Killa Family
I havent had the pleasure of watching this Wu-Flick yet, but I seen mostly all of the other Wu-Tang Films and those s**ts are bad as hell so I know this will be another
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #15. Posted on September 21, 2000, 02:45:55 AM by ithur
I didn't find the actual styles in this flick to be anything special, but who cares?  The crotch-munching bowling ball makes it all OK.  Something tells me this movie would be nothing without bad American dubbing...for some serious O.G. magical wire-flying bidness check out some of the films of Tsui Hark, like "Zu"...much more flavorful styles, great messed-up monsters, and great even with subs.  However this is surely the schlock masterpiece  of the "Wu-Tang" series...replay value is high even if ya gotta flip the audio off after the 2nd viewing.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by ODH
It was formerly called "Taoist Drunkard".  I love it.  Some of these purist people should go take karate classes at the Y or something.  Movies are movies.  Anyone in the Boston area NEEDS to check out Video Oasis on Cambridge street in Cambridge.  I got SHaolin Wooden Men Hall (early Chan), Legend of Liquid Swords, etc.  They have more Kung Fu than I've ever seen, literally hundreds.
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