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FRANKENHOOKER - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1990 SGE Entertainment Corporation
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Jeffrey - Electrician and mad scientist, brilliant once you bore a hole through his head. Has that very same head sliced off by Zorro.
  • Elizabeth - Jeffrey's girlfriend, turned into mulch by a lawnmower.
  • Zorro - Very large and angry pimp, loses his entire harem to a bag of deadly drugs. Presumed dead.
  • Honey, Amber, Angel, Crystal, Anise, Chartreuse, Snow, Sugar, and Monkey - Zorro's streetwalkers, every one of them explodes in a shower of sparks after doing some bad drugs.
  • Frankenhooker's Trick - Funny little guy, he loves the "I'm a monster" routine until his body disintegrates.
  • Jeffrey's Mom - Just that, plus she sounds like "The Godfather."
  • The Shelley's - Elizabeth's family, whatever.
  • Frankenhooker - Monster created from Elizabeth's head, the bodies of dead hookers, and spare electrical equipment. Everything on this girl is purple, I mean everything...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

This is your standard New Jersey love story, boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl gets sliced to ribbons by remote control lawnmower, boy patches girl back together with parts from hookers, girl goes on a rampage in New York City. The film is a riot, especially the "Exploding Prostitutes" scene, half a dozen naked women blowing apart! Jeffrey is an electrician who dabbles in mad science, he even has this weird cyclops-brain creature. (Still don't understand that thing, but it ends up in a fish tank, swimming happy with the guppies.) At Mr. Shelley's birthday party an accident involving the powerful remote control lawnmower grinds up Elizabeth, she kills herself actually. (Darwin didn't consider blondes in his studies.) Utterly crushed, the young man begins hatching a plan to bring her back. Having kept the head from his deceased in a deep freezer full of preservative he intends to butcher a hooker and use her body. Jeffrey couldn't actually kill anyone, so he devises a special blend of crack cocaine which causes the user to explode! Losing nerve at the last second he repents, unfortunately for the hookers they delve into his bag. Finding the crack, the women have a party - until everyone starts blowing up. After that Jeffrey has all the parts he needs, soon Frankenhooker is brought to life by an electrical storm. Major problem, her brain is scrambled and all she wants to do is turn tricks. Tromping through New York City the female monster causes any male who gets intimate to explode, until Zorro knocks her head off and unscrambles the circuits. Then our mad scientist has his precious girlfriend back, though there is a trick ending. Zorro kills Jeffrey, just before a horde of spare hooker parts drag the pimp away. Frankenhooker has only one way to bring her lover back, rejuvenation will only work on female bodies, so Jeffrey wakes up to the new and higher estrogen version of himself. The crazy antics never stop, CHEESY special effects lurk everywhere, Jeffrey drills holes in his own head, (It helps him think.) and the faces Frankenhooker makes, oh man did those crack me up. She has this way of snarling, it's great.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Brain surgery requires a hammer and scalpel.
  • Never stand in front of a remote control lawn mower.
  • Gray's Anatomy comes complete with wiring diagrams.
  • Egg salad contains Lithium.
  • Pink lemonade is a preservative.
  • The key to unlocking creative genius is a power drill.
  • Pimps brand their hookers.
  • Crack causes guinea pigs to explode.
  • Areola should not be purple. (Oh go and look it up.)
  • Never kiss, hump, or orally gratify an electric hooker.
  • Pimps hate surgeons.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - What the heck is that thing?
  • 11 mins - Hmmm, I wonder who has those missing body parts.
  • 14 mins - Did mom smoke for too many years?
  • 27 mins - A flock of hookers!
  • 28 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 30 mins - Memo to self: "Stay out of New York City restrooms."
  • 43 mins - MULTIPLE RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOTS! IT'S THE MOTHER LOAD!
  • 45 mins - Exploding prostitutes! Woohoo!
  • 56 mins - Where did she get one brown arm from anyway?
  • 58 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BUSINESSMAN!
  • 65 mins - Not very well adjusted there, gal; what is up with your face?
  • 76 mins - Oops, Jeffrey is dead.

Quotes: 

  • Jersey Girl: "Jeffrey stapled your stomach?"
    Elizabeth: "Yeah, but it didn't help much, I'm still a compulsive eater."
  • Jeffrey: "For crying out loud, you're like cats with catnip!"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note frankenhooker1.wav News report about the lawn mower accident.
Green Music Note frankenhooker2.wav Jeffrey: "I can make you into anything you want! I can make you the centerfold goddess of the century...just need the right parts."
Green Music Note frankenhooker3.wav Frankenhooker: "Wanna date?"
Green Music Note frankenhooker4.wav Jeffrey: "What are you, some kind of a Swede? You're talking to me in Swedish in Times Square!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipfrankenhooker1.mpg - 2.4m
Exploding prostitutes! Look out for that flying head!

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Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4
Frankenhooker
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Frukt
Wow. All I can say is Wow. This isn't a bad movie at all; I wouldn't even call it a B-movie, this is an excellent example of what skillful hands can do despite a minimal (War-On-Drugs-funded?) budget. The script is absolutely wonderful and very original (and if you look really hard, there might even be some symbolism in it). The acting is for the most part actually quite acceptable (well, ok, so the last movie I saw before this was Laser Mission...) at least the first hour, better than most late-night TV movies at least, and the actors manage to keep a straigt face. Zorro The Pimp is excused because after all, he is Zorro The Pimp (and he sure is tough-guy enough to be Governor of some american state any day).

The FX are cheesy but only because of the low budget (and you can't really demand anything else from a movie about exploding hookers) and they don't hurt your viewing pleasure. Especially the background scenery is mostly quite impressive, you get a feeling the producers really tried to make the movie as realistic as possible (taking the general storyline into account). IMHO the director was REALLY skilled, managing to pull this very unorthodox movie off as nicely as he did.

For one thing, despite the wacky and not very serious story, the movie is very consistent and there are no giant logic gaps which otherwise seems to be mandatory in most late 80's B-Movies (and well, in most Hollywood pictures) and also the characters have quite a few lines that aren't directly pushing the story forward (always a good sign IMHO).

Too bad the acting gets worse at the end of the movie, and the ending was quite unsatisfying. I also thought it lacked a real zombie-hooker killing spree and there was definately too little blood (he is drilling into his head yaknow). But this is absolutely one of my new favourite movies.

Now, it's obvious that Zorro The Pimp did in fact NOT die, so let's all hope for a spin-off movie about him! Come to think of it, isn't it obvious that he was the hero of the movie?
Frankenhooker
Reply #18. Posted on August 27, 2005, 09:27:02 PM by kob
Frankenhooker
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by kob
The effects from Frankenhooker fit perfectly for this movie.  The scene in which the crack whores blow up is done seemlessly & was ripped off by the Austin Powers movie when the fem-bots blew up.  Henenlotter did a much better job than the director of Austin Powers.

Frankenhooker is one of the best B movies ever made and deserves to be in everyones DVD collection.
Frankenhooker
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by catherine0621
Thank, well who or whatever for this website wherein I now have written and visible proof that this movie even existed!!!  I am telling you!!  Let it suffice to say that no one I have mentioned this film to over the years has any knowledge as to what I am talking about.  I always describe the scene where the pimp is in the bar lamenting about the untimely demise of his stable of hookers at which time a bar buddy offers consolation by saying "Hey man, good luck with your exploding b***hes, and s**t."  That is true comedy and I don't give a damn about Lucy or Bozo.  

Frankenhooker
Reply #21. Posted on February 02, 2006, 02:23:32 PM by 125690
Frankenhooker
Reply #22. Posted on February 19, 2006, 07:38:53 PM by bobalong
A legend of a film, all i can say :)
Re: Frankenhooker
Reply #23. Posted on February 16, 2007, 01:52:44 AM by antinea
Looks so sweet I bought it as a Valentine present for my son....Am I a bad mother???javascript:void(0);
Oh put that phone down...he's 34!!!
Re: Frankenhooker
Reply #24. Posted on November 17, 2007, 01:39:52 PM by crazycloud
this movie is so classic. i love the exploding hookers. wow. is there a hooker horror movie that can top this one.
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