|HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
|Copyright 1982 Dino De Laurentiis.
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Dan Challis - Tom Atkins! An overworked hospital doctor, for some reason he just looks unhygienic.
- Ellie Grimbridge - Younger woman out to discover what really happened to her father, she packs sexy lingerie in her overnight bag "just in case." Presumed dead.
- Mr. Cochran - Inventor and madman intent on making a supreme sacrifice to the pagan gods. Vaporized.
- Buddy and Betty Kupfer - Salesman and his wife, killed by poisonous snakes and crickets.
- Buddy Jr. - If you thought salesmen were annoying, just wait till you meet their kids. Few things have the entertainment value of watching some brat's head rot and spill forth deadly slithering things.
- Teddy - Female forensics expert with the hots for Dan, mushed by an android.
- Henry Grimbridge - Ellie's father, killed in a most unpleasant way.
|Sequels are historically a continuation of the franchise, another way to glean some money from the pocket of the public. The general reasoning is that Joe Public thinks, "I've watched the first two and they were decent, so might as well see the third." Joe is, of course, expecting to see Mr. Myers hard at work once more.
Joe is in for a surprise, because this film has absolutely nothing to do with any of the other Halloween movies. A number of people must have popped the tape back out after watching it for thirty minutes, then checked the label before returning to the store. There they probably complained that someone else had accidentally recorded over the movie.
I don't blame them.
Dan is very interested about the events surrounding Mr. Grimbridge's death. With the assistance of the deceased's attractive daughter he travels to the factory where Silver Shamrock masks are manufactured. Thankfully we are kept abreast of the day and time by helpful captions, though the same is not true for our major characters. Twenty minutes into the film I realized that my notes contained a rough time line, but no mention of who in the heck Tom Atkins was. As in his character's name, let's not wax any more philosophical than that, okay?
Mr. Cochran is very happy, his company is prospering and sales of the three Silver Shamrock masks (pumpkin, witch, and reaper) are riding on a huge advertising wave, easily cornering the market. Swallow the idea that one in every three kids would wear the exact same mask for Halloween. Swallow! Swallow it damn you!
Everything comes with a price and these frightful visages are not excluded, though "your eternal soul" is less common than $6.99 on the tags for Halloween masks. For Cochran has stolen a stone from Stonehenge and somehow transported it to California without anyone noticing (all the inspectors were too busy checking bananas or something). Pieces of the monument have been used in creating the latex shrouds and they are inherently evil! When a certain commercial is watched the wearer is consumed from within by crickets, snakes, and all sorts of nasty things!
The cursed shrouds are dark druid stuff to say the least, but why should they require a special commercial (even one associated with Ralph Bakshi) to trigger? Notice that I did not imply the plot, just the masks. The plot needs that commercial like few other movies need plot devices, but the masks should be able to trigger based on the alignment of the planets, the moon, or something. We can be pretty certain that the druids did little in the way of market research and targeted advertising so this is plain silly.
It is interesting to note that Carpenter seems to be riding shotgun with this film, one created to advance some sort of conspiracy theory, but did a much better job of it himself with "They Live" a few years later.
Don't miss the section with Dan fighting the autonomous and detached arm of Ellie's impersonating android. Notice how he stands and holds it against his chest as the liberated limb attempts to strangle our hero. The darn thing has no leverage or hold on him, just letting go would cause it to fall harmlessly onto the ground.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Never trust the emergency brakes on a car in the junkyard.
- Having your face broken will make you look like Jack Palance.
- Sexual harassment laws have come a long way.
- Being assigned to intensive care room number thirteen is bad news.
- You can open your eyes after having gasoline poured into them. (Especially if you're an android.)
- Molotov cocktails are not an entrepreneur's friend.
- Old men wear out a lot sooner than young women.
- Sneaking a twenty ton stone through customs is no problem.
- Kidney punches are effective against androids too.
- Night falls in Seattle, WA before New York, NY.
- Opening Credits - Moustapha! Ooooo! Say it again!
- 3 mins - Yes, but what time is it?
- 13 mins - This guy needs his trousers tailored. Hey Noah, when is the flood?
- 31 mins - Um, I think that I'd sleep on the bed.
- 35 mins - If you ever find me subsisting on spray cheese and Boone's please kill me.
- 52 mins - Trade secrets? We're talking about latex masks, I'm pretty sure a kid could reverse engineer it.
- 68 mins - The appearing and disappearing tag! I'm guessing it is there, just hidden by the shirt.
- 82 mins - They are starting to skimp on the labels, only one in that stack has a clover.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Teddy: "You don't just pull someone's skull apart without a little lower arm strength. Know what I mean?"
||Ellie: "What I want to know is why they put their factory out here in the middle of nowhere."
||Dan: "(It's) getting late, I could use a drink!"
||Mr. Cochran: "Stonehenge! We had a time getting it here; you wouldn't believe how we did it."
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Buddy Jr. wouldn't listen to his mom when she said TV can rot your brain. Of course that was a hyperbole and she honestly didn't think crickets and snakes would stream from her son's putrid "rotting" skull.
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by talkinghand
If you listen very, very carefully to the "annoying" commercial song, you will hear that it is actually not just a cheesy circus organ, but an elaborate synthesizer. Especially when we get to see little Buddy suffering the fate soon to befall millions of the world's children. As the bugs and snakes scatter and slither the synth reaches outrageous heights of complicated runs and trills; obviously these are the sounds that activate the Stonehenge chip in the masks' trademarks.
Also, this movie will compel the interested to investigate the TRUE meaning of Hallowe'en as evinced by Conal Cochran: "it was part of our craft!" Witchcraft! Try finding more info on Stonehenge, the Druids, and the continuing tradition of Irish Celtic tree-worshippers and see how far you get! It's no wonder this movie's plot is plausible, maybe even possible! The entire premise is shrouded in the mystery of antiquity.
There are enough holes in the plot to drive a truck through (no one seemed to ever catch the fact that there is a football game being broadcast on a WEDNESDAY night -- if you keep with the timeline and watch the bar scene carefully), but if you view the movie's broad strokes rather than carping on minutiae you can see just how fascinating the entire idea behind Halloween III is.
Oh... and, don't forget... Happy Hallowe'en.
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by talkinghand
Got to see the Spanish language version for the 2nd time at work last weekend! What a treat!
I comprehend spoken at about a 25% rate -- and this combined with an intimate familiarity with the plot and dialogue of this movie made for a very enjoyable experience. I understood probably 90% of the Spanish in this case... and I would have to say the translation was admirable... the lip-syncing went really well!
BTW, this was broadcast on Telefutura... I work at an affiliate...
With the studio speakers cranked, the soundtrack sounded so cool! I had every speaker I could belting out the electronic masterpieces! BTW, I got the soundtrack on LP off of eBay for $13... what a find!
I also got the paperback version off half dot com and read it in a few days... an easy read. And possibly a better version... less plot holes...?
BTW I noticed upon this watching that the rogue football game on the TV in the bar is actually being played on a Friday... still, in 1982, a dark day for TV football. They didn't have ESPN Classic yet back then!
Truly it makes you yearn for a better era. And I don't care about the mourning for the loss of Michael Myers. I wasn't familiar with the Halloween series in 1982, and this was the first one I ever saw. I thought it was great then, and still do now.
In retrospect, the idea of a Halloween anthology series seems far superior to me than the endless cheesy slew of slasher flicks which have been named IV, V, etc...
I like the idea of different actors, different plots, different ideas a la Twilight Zone rather than the requisite permutations we've had since... too bad this one didn't work in the movie-going public's eye...
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Ramona Ramsey
Well...i dont know what you guy's are talking about really...but Halloween and all of its series(yes even #3 even though it didnt have him in it)Are my favorite movies espescially Resurrection..or however you spell it! But to tell the Truth Michael Myers is the cutest guy i ever saw!...Iv'e had a crush on him for a very long time now...i just cant keep my mind off of him!(plus my hands)But lets not go there!And when I get older Im going to contact the director and ask him if I could be Michael Myers's sidekick! and somehting else but(clears throat)It is the best series ever! and if you got any comments or questions I'll be glad to answer them,just e-mail me and ask away!
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Tony Smith
Now, I saw this movie, and was sort of impressed. Though it lacks the classic chill and horror of the gruesome killer Michael Myers (in the last two films and beyond Halloween III), it had a fairly-well done story (sort of). I mean, it wasn't the greatest, but it did have a unique style of its murders and evil robots, and you have to admit, the masks that spew out bugs and snakes during the commercial was a pretty good touch. It was pretty good over all. Too bad it bombed in theaters.
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Sennith
This movie isn't bad just because myers wasn't in it. It's just awful because it didn't make sense, plot holes, and it's called Halloween III with no Micheal Myers! It could've been better but there is no way this is better than the original two.
Reply #22. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Pelin
Due to collecting Halloween series I had to buy this one too. Unfortunately I did not watch it before I bought it even I knew that it was not relevant to the other Halloween series. I can not give this crap a name. It's boring, lousy and very cheap. Why Akkad shot this movie really ?
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Mark
True, this is not a feature in the vein of Michael Myers, but given the terrible films after Halloween II, that's not a bad idea.
Somebody can correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the idea to do one Halloween film per year and make it a DIFFERENT one each time. I know that One and Two go together but after the lower box office returns for Halloween II, I think this approach was a novel, if unsuccessful idea.
Yeah, this one has plot holes big enough to drive a Silver Shamrock delivery truck through, but the acting from Tom Atkins and Dan O'Herlihy is wonderful. Stacy Nelkin, it goes without saying, is INCREDIBLE. Sexiest horror film babe since Helen Crump in "The Blob".
Overall, this is a good B-grad horror-sci fi fun fest. It doesn't rely on excess gore, but instead gives us an interesting and unique (if totally implausable) plot.
Put your brain on hold, pop some popcorn and forget that this is supposedly a "Halloween" series flick and you'll have a good time!
Reply #24. Posted on May 24, 2003, 03:15:16 PM by TOM
I love every single movie of Holloween . except the 3rd one.Its stupid and theres no point of seen it. I hope they make more holloween movies. I love taylor m. lol
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