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HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1982 Dino De Laurentiis.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Dan Challis - Tom Atkins! An overworked hospital doctor, for some reason he just looks unhygienic.
  • Ellie Grimbridge - Younger woman out to discover what really happened to her father, she packs sexy lingerie in her overnight bag "just in case." Presumed dead.
  • Mr. Cochran - Inventor and madman intent on making a supreme sacrifice to the pagan gods. Vaporized.
  • Buddy and Betty Kupfer - Salesman and his wife, killed by poisonous snakes and crickets.
  • Buddy Jr. - If you thought salesmen were annoying, just wait till you meet their kids. Few things have the entertainment value of watching some brat's head rot and spill forth deadly slithering things.
  • Teddy - Female forensics expert with the hots for Dan, mushed by an android.
  • Henry Grimbridge - Ellie's father, killed in a most unpleasant way.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Sequels are historically a continuation of the franchise, another way to glean some money from the pocket of the public. The general reasoning is that Joe Public thinks, "I've watched the first two and they were decent, so might as well see the third." Joe is, of course, expecting to see Mr. Myers hard at work once more.

Joe is in for a surprise, because this film has absolutely nothing to do with any of the other Halloween movies. A number of people must have popped the tape back out after watching it for thirty minutes, then checked the label before returning to the store. There they probably complained that someone else had accidentally recorded over the movie.

I don't blame them.

Dan is very interested about the events surrounding Mr. Grimbridge's death. With the assistance of the deceased's attractive daughter he travels to the factory where Silver Shamrock masks are manufactured. Thankfully we are kept abreast of the day and time by helpful captions, though the same is not true for our major characters. Twenty minutes into the film I realized that my notes contained a rough time line, but no mention of who in the heck Tom Atkins was. As in his character's name, let's not wax any more philosophical than that, okay?

Mr. Cochran is very happy, his company is prospering and sales of the three Silver Shamrock masks (pumpkin, witch, and reaper) are riding on a huge advertising wave, easily cornering the market. Swallow the idea that one in every three kids would wear the exact same mask for Halloween. Swallow! Swallow it damn you!

Everything comes with a price and these frightful visages are not excluded, though "your eternal soul" is less common than $6.99 on the tags for Halloween masks. For Cochran has stolen a stone from Stonehenge and somehow transported it to California without anyone noticing (all the inspectors were too busy checking bananas or something). Pieces of the monument have been used in creating the latex shrouds and they are inherently evil! When a certain commercial is watched the wearer is consumed from within by crickets, snakes, and all sorts of nasty things!

The cursed shrouds are dark druid stuff to say the least, but why should they require a special commercial (even one associated with Ralph Bakshi) to trigger? Notice that I did not imply the plot, just the masks. The plot needs that commercial like few other movies need plot devices, but the masks should be able to trigger based on the alignment of the planets, the moon, or something. We can be pretty certain that the druids did little in the way of market research and targeted advertising so this is plain silly.

It is interesting to note that Carpenter seems to be riding shotgun with this film, one created to advance some sort of conspiracy theory, but did a much better job of it himself with "They Live" a few years later.

Don't miss the section with Dan fighting the autonomous and detached arm of Ellie's impersonating android. Notice how he stands and holds it against his chest as the liberated limb attempts to strangle our hero. The darn thing has no leverage or hold on him, just letting go would cause it to fall harmlessly onto the ground.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Never trust the emergency brakes on a car in the junkyard.
  • Having your face broken will make you look like Jack Palance.
  • Sexual harassment laws have come a long way.
  • Being assigned to intensive care room number thirteen is bad news.
  • You can open your eyes after having gasoline poured into them. (Especially if you're an android.)
  • Molotov cocktails are not an entrepreneur's friend.
  • Old men wear out a lot sooner than young women.
  • Sneaking a twenty ton stone through customs is no problem.
  • Kidney punches are effective against androids too.
  • Night falls in Seattle, WA before New York, NY.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • Opening Credits - Moustapha! Ooooo! Say it again!
  • 3 mins - Yes, but what time is it?
  • 13 mins - This guy needs his trousers tailored. Hey Noah, when is the flood?
  • 31 mins - Um, I think that I'd sleep on the bed.
  • 35 mins - If you ever find me subsisting on spray cheese and Boone's please kill me.
  • 52 mins - Trade secrets? We're talking about latex masks, I'm pretty sure a kid could reverse engineer it.
  • 68 mins - The appearing and disappearing tag! I'm guessing it is there, just hidden by the shirt.
  • 82 mins - They are starting to skimp on the labels, only one in that stack has a clover.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note halloweeniii1.wav Teddy: "You don't just pull someone's skull apart without a little lower arm strength. Know what I mean?"
Green Music Note halloweeniii2.wav Ellie: "What I want to know is why they put their factory out here in the middle of nowhere."
Green Music Note halloweeniii3.wav Dan: "(It's) getting late, I could use a drink!"
Green Music Note halloweeniii4.wav Mr. Cochran: "Stonehenge! We had a time getting it here; you wouldn't believe how we did it."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage


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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphalloweeniii1.mpg - 3.0m
Buddy Jr. wouldn't listen to his mom when she said TV can rot your brain. Of course that was a hyperbole and she honestly didn't think crickets and snakes would stream from her son's putrid "rotting" skull.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 8
Halloween III
Reply #33. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by George
 I liked "H3" because it was such utter nonsense. How did they get the rock from Stonehenge over here? Hell, how did they even manage to steal it in the first place without setting off a massive worldwide Interpol investigation? Who cares? It's flicks like "H3" that provide a very welcome respite from overrated Oscar winning crappola like "The English Patient". Now that one really sucked! As for the whole "no connection to the other movies" thing, one could argue that "Halloween 6:The Curse Of Michael Myers" contradicts that statement. Simply put, it's the whole Druid aspect of "H6" that ties (albeit loosely) Part 3 with the rest of the series. Speaking of "H6", that would be my choice for the worst entry in the series. It's a very half-assed movie and it's pretty depressing to watch a movie in which the lead actor (i.e. Donald Pleasance) is obviously sick and dying. Barring that aspect, "H6" is still really bad.
Halloween III
Reply #34. Posted on September 08, 2005, 11:10:09 AM by Rochester
The movie might not have been all that great, but it sure was fun! Sept. 8, 2005: 53 more days to Halloween, Halloween Halloween, 53 more days to Halloween, Silver Shamrock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Halloween III
Reply #35. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by jmsynth
Come on, people need to get over the lack of Myers in this movie. There are 7 movies with the guy for crying out loud! Besides Carpenter actually LIKED this one! The idea to do a movie without Myers was mostly his idea. I don't have time to go into details, look it up. At any rate, this film is fun. At the very least its better than "Freddy's Dead" and most of the "Friday the 13th"s. Oh, and no one can convince me it's seriously worse than any of the Halloween movies made since the 80s. H20 was a particular low point, 70 minutes of "Dawson's Creek" 20 minutes of OK, moderately suspensful slasherflick. Thats not what I watch Horror movies for! H3 is much closer to my idea of horror.
Halloween III
Reply #36. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Cambot99
To be perfectly honest, I kinda liked the movie but what really sucked was that Michael Myers wasn't in it. I mean you can't have Hallloween 3 without Michael Myers right? Am I right? Come on, someone back me up on this. But the plot twist was great and the dialogue was okay, but it lacks what the Halloween series is all about.
Halloween III
Reply #37. Posted on February 17, 2006, 12:34:00 PM by IT
A very disapointing mess avoid it just avoid it.
Halloween III
Reply #38. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by xussia
Ok. So there is no Michael Myers. So it's a sequel in name only. Its no big deal. HIII - isn't all that bad. So it has a cast of about 9 people - shot in about 4 locations, mostly at night...

What is easy to forget is that this film does have a sense of genuine horror about it. Children are going to die, all for want of a joke and no-one can do anything about it. Or in fact gives a s**t.

The magic, for me anyway, is in the details that are just written off.

The evil irish guy has created perfect killer human replica robots not altogether different from Tyrell in Blade Runner. But he writes them off with a glib:

"The internal components were surprisingly easy - and after that its just another form of mask making."

If only Sony has hired this guy before his Irish crazy gene took hold.

They even stole one of the enourmous slabs of rock from Stone Henge to achieve their mask related mayhem. How? Don't ask...

Why Irish anyway? And why StoneHenge - which as far as I know isn't, and never has been, anything to do with Ireland?

Is an Irish toy/novelty manufacturer (don't forget he INVENTED sticky toilet paper, the dead dwarf gag and the soft chainsaw!) somehow more believeable, or menacing or...  oh forget it, He's Irish OK!

Add to this

1. A hospital with two, maybe three staff on night duty (in the UK, this is nothing new!)
2. A coroner who somehow figures out that the charred remains of a cog mean that a robot automoton with super powers must have pulled someones face off and set themselves on fire.
3. A factory tour that last for two days and nights.
4. A women who drives at least 900 miles to return one mask with one defect.
5. A halloween mask manufacturer who makes only three product types and achieves at least 99% market penetration (SONY... you reading this...)
6. A women's face is exploded by a magic laser in the back of a trademark badge which is activated by scratching it with a hairpin. (I think SOMEONE would have noticed this before the 31st and probably raised some child safety concerns!)
7. A perfect replica of the doctors girlfriend is created in mere minutes - though she lacks the ability to speak.
8. The robot men seem to have gravy for blood.
9. The mad irish guy turns blue and vanishes.
10. The doc manages to convince TV networks that a syndicated advertising campaign that has been running successfully for over a week will somehow emit a signal which will activate the magic trademark laser and kill any child that is wearing one of the masks AND happens to be watching TV at that exact moment.... and they believe him and two out of the three (what TV era is this in the US?) networks stop the advert...

So many things... but when all said and done. There is a great sense of hopelessness. Its ends as good films should end - with the child killing masks being activated by the TV advert - and the Doc screaming to stop it. Alas... it goes on and one can only assume that children all over the US are falling to the floor as their head turns into a variety of garden insects and snakes...

Come on... you can either take this film as it is OR whine and moan that it isn't another DULL slasher movie. And lets face it... if they had of included Mr Myers, it doesn't mean it would actually have been any better anyway...

Johnny Carp didn't direct this one BTW - a common error overlooked by many.. Tommy Lee Wallace did and, for trivia hunters, he PLAYED Mr. Myers in Halloween 1...  so you see, there is a connection.

Good soundtrack too -

Halloween III: season of the witch...

More holes than mechano, acting like thunderbirds.. but for some reason I could't really explain. I love it!

~XUSSIA~
 
Halloween III
Reply #39. Posted on June 22, 2006, 09:56:27 AM by godzillavsdogora
DEFINATLY not the best in the series. The complete lack of Myers & that stupid song are stomach-churning. However, i do like the same ominous, creepy atmosphere the 1st 2 had.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #40. Posted on September 04, 2007, 06:19:28 PM by Torgo
I absolutely despise this movie. And not for the sole reason that's it a Halloween movie without Michael Myers.

It's just a terrible, terrible film from beginning to end.  Not to mention that it commits the cardinal sin of being boring as hell.   

The acting is atrocious, the pacing nonexistent (beyond leaden), the special effects terrible, the camera hardly moves.  Plus you got that annoying commercial jingle that plays about 8 thousand times during the movie.  Hatred
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