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HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1982 Dino De Laurentiis.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Dan Challis - Tom Atkins! An overworked hospital doctor, for some reason he just looks unhygienic.
  • Ellie Grimbridge - Younger woman out to discover what really happened to her father, she packs sexy lingerie in her overnight bag "just in case." Presumed dead.
  • Mr. Cochran - Inventor and madman intent on making a supreme sacrifice to the pagan gods. Vaporized.
  • Buddy and Betty Kupfer - Salesman and his wife, killed by poisonous snakes and crickets.
  • Buddy Jr. - If you thought salesmen were annoying, just wait till you meet their kids. Few things have the entertainment value of watching some brat's head rot and spill forth deadly slithering things.
  • Teddy - Female forensics expert with the hots for Dan, mushed by an android.
  • Henry Grimbridge - Ellie's father, killed in a most unpleasant way.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Sequels are historically a continuation of the franchise, another way to glean some money from the pocket of the public. The general reasoning is that Joe Public thinks, "I've watched the first two and they were decent, so might as well see the third." Joe is, of course, expecting to see Mr. Myers hard at work once more.

Joe is in for a surprise, because this film has absolutely nothing to do with any of the other Halloween movies. A number of people must have popped the tape back out after watching it for thirty minutes, then checked the label before returning to the store. There they probably complained that someone else had accidentally recorded over the movie.

I don't blame them.

Dan is very interested about the events surrounding Mr. Grimbridge's death. With the assistance of the deceased's attractive daughter he travels to the factory where Silver Shamrock masks are manufactured. Thankfully we are kept abreast of the day and time by helpful captions, though the same is not true for our major characters. Twenty minutes into the film I realized that my notes contained a rough time line, but no mention of who in the heck Tom Atkins was. As in his character's name, let's not wax any more philosophical than that, okay?

Mr. Cochran is very happy, his company is prospering and sales of the three Silver Shamrock masks (pumpkin, witch, and reaper) are riding on a huge advertising wave, easily cornering the market. Swallow the idea that one in every three kids would wear the exact same mask for Halloween. Swallow! Swallow it damn you!

Everything comes with a price and these frightful visages are not excluded, though "your eternal soul" is less common than $6.99 on the tags for Halloween masks. For Cochran has stolen a stone from Stonehenge and somehow transported it to California without anyone noticing (all the inspectors were too busy checking bananas or something). Pieces of the monument have been used in creating the latex shrouds and they are inherently evil! When a certain commercial is watched the wearer is consumed from within by crickets, snakes, and all sorts of nasty things!

The cursed shrouds are dark druid stuff to say the least, but why should they require a special commercial (even one associated with Ralph Bakshi) to trigger? Notice that I did not imply the plot, just the masks. The plot needs that commercial like few other movies need plot devices, but the masks should be able to trigger based on the alignment of the planets, the moon, or something. We can be pretty certain that the druids did little in the way of market research and targeted advertising so this is plain silly.

It is interesting to note that Carpenter seems to be riding shotgun with this film, one created to advance some sort of conspiracy theory, but did a much better job of it himself with "They Live" a few years later.

Don't miss the section with Dan fighting the autonomous and detached arm of Ellie's impersonating android. Notice how he stands and holds it against his chest as the liberated limb attempts to strangle our hero. The darn thing has no leverage or hold on him, just letting go would cause it to fall harmlessly onto the ground.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Never trust the emergency brakes on a car in the junkyard.
  • Having your face broken will make you look like Jack Palance.
  • Sexual harassment laws have come a long way.
  • Being assigned to intensive care room number thirteen is bad news.
  • You can open your eyes after having gasoline poured into them. (Especially if you're an android.)
  • Molotov cocktails are not an entrepreneur's friend.
  • Old men wear out a lot sooner than young women.
  • Sneaking a twenty ton stone through customs is no problem.
  • Kidney punches are effective against androids too.
  • Night falls in Seattle, WA before New York, NY.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • Opening Credits - Moustapha! Ooooo! Say it again!
  • 3 mins - Yes, but what time is it?
  • 13 mins - This guy needs his trousers tailored. Hey Noah, when is the flood?
  • 31 mins - Um, I think that I'd sleep on the bed.
  • 35 mins - If you ever find me subsisting on spray cheese and Boone's please kill me.
  • 52 mins - Trade secrets? We're talking about latex masks, I'm pretty sure a kid could reverse engineer it.
  • 68 mins - The appearing and disappearing tag! I'm guessing it is there, just hidden by the shirt.
  • 82 mins - They are starting to skimp on the labels, only one in that stack has a clover.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note halloweeniii1.wav Teddy: "You don't just pull someone's skull apart without a little lower arm strength. Know what I mean?"
Green Music Note halloweeniii2.wav Ellie: "What I want to know is why they put their factory out here in the middle of nowhere."
Green Music Note halloweeniii3.wav Dan: "(It's) getting late, I could use a drink!"
Green Music Note halloweeniii4.wav Mr. Cochran: "Stonehenge! We had a time getting it here; you wouldn't believe how we did it."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage


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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphalloweeniii1.mpg - 3.0m
Buddy Jr. wouldn't listen to his mom when she said TV can rot your brain. Of course that was a hyperbole and she honestly didn't think crickets and snakes would stream from her son's putrid "rotting" skull.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 5 6 [7] 8
Re: Halloween III
Reply #49. Posted on November 08, 2009, 06:32:31 AM by Psycho Circus
Overall a marginally ok movie that suffers from having the wrong title (would any of this be an issue if the movie was titled "Masks with chuncks of stonehenge in them are going to kill all the kids on Halloween night")

It should have just been called "Season Of The Witch", that's a bad-ass title.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #50. Posted on November 27, 2009, 07:26:29 AM by Vance Archer
Easily one of the worst films ever made. It's so mean-spirited I actually felt uncomfortable watching it at times. It's boring as hell, too.

I rented this for a Halloween party several years back and it actually killed the party dead. Complete s**t, from top to bottom.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #51. Posted on December 31, 2009, 01:53:52 PM by Wes Lee
 Call me simple but even as a young bad movie fan I still wasn't able to process the concept of the latest instalment of a slasher franchise having ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with ANY of the previous films! :(
 Just mind boggling.....
 "Sneaking a 20 ton stone through customs is no problem" Hahahaha
Re: Halloween III
Reply #52. Posted on January 03, 2010, 05:23:16 PM by justin
I've always avoided this one because Michael Myers wasn't in it. However, early last month I decided to watch it on Cinemax & give it a chance since I'm a big fan of Carpenter's original & the sequel.

Its not a great movie but it was original, interesting & mean-spirited & I liked it enough to add it to my movie collection.
Plus having Tom Atkins as the lead is always a good sign. I loved the way it ended (having that classic Carpenter feel/fade to black). Great music score by Carpenter as well.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #53. Posted on June 18, 2010, 08:01:04 PM by Nightowl
I actually enjoyed Halloween III. Yeah there is no mikey, but its still got an exciting storyline. I thought it was real brave of them to try something new and it didn't work, so they moved on. I think if it wasn't called Halloween III:Season Of The Witch, I believe people would have enjoyed the film more instead of wondering if they checked out the wrong movie by mistake.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #54. Posted on August 29, 2010, 01:52:22 PM by TobyzMama
This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. 

I am new to the Halloween movies, and decided to watch them all in one weekend.  I had a very hard time sitting through this.  But, it's worth seeing once - and once only - as part of learning about the series.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #55. Posted on August 29, 2010, 01:59:55 PM by claws
Poor Halloween III is doomed to be bashed for eternity  Bluesad
The most misunderstood movie ever made most likely.
Re: Halloween III
Reply #56. Posted on November 11, 2010, 09:54:12 AM by Furious_George
I like this movie for nostalgic reasons, but I love almost everything from the 80's.

The only thing that p**ses me off is that you never really know what the villain wants to do. Yeah he wants to sell his masks and kill everyone that wears them, but why?
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