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HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1987 New World Entertainment Ltd
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Sam Hell - Roddy Piper! The most fertile man left on Earth after WWIII.
  • Spangle - Sandra Bergman! (You know, the blonde girl from "Conan the Barbarian") She is a "Medtech" officer or something.
  • Captain Devling - Evil human who is selling weapons to the frogmen. Shot by Sam.
  • Centinella - Very sexually aggressive girl who is the ambulance gunner. Yes, the pink Medtech ambulance is equipped with a M60 machine gun.
  • Looney Tunes - Old man, Sam and him go back a long way. Get's shot.
  • Arabella - Frog woman who is sworn to battle against Commander Toty. Has a drill bit shoved through her chest.
  • Bull - Henchman to Toty, a very violent hopper. Roddy suplexes him to death!
  • Commander Toty - The king of Frogtown. Knocked off a cliff by Sam.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

What can I say? It's a movie all about Roddy Piper's genitals and violent bipedal amphibians, pretty much sums it up. Nuts - Frogs.

Anyway, Earth has a nuclear war (pretty common plot) and a good deal of mankind is rendered infertile (still fairly common) by the exchange. Sam is a petty criminal who narrowly misses some serious bodily harm at the hands of Captain Devling (mean police/guards/military - very common) when the Medtechs take charge of him. Seems they are very interested in Roddy Piper's sperm count (now THIS is a new plot idea) and offer a pardon if he agrees to impregnate women in the wastelands. (HEHEHEHEHEHE!)

Soon Sam and Spangle are on a mission to rescue fertile women held captive by Commander Toty in Frogtown. In the midst of all this they fall head over heels in love with each other. Good grief. There are some amusing props, not the least of which is the electric truss thing Sam wears to protect and monitor his family jewels. When he is bad Spangle uses the truss to shock his nads, and it beeps when he gets too far away from her. (Again more nad zapping.)

Spangle's erotic dance for Commander Toty which ends with him yelling, "You have aroused the three snakes!" is not to be missed. The verbal imagry is all there; anybody else out there see Legend of the Overfiend? If the idea of a slobbering toad attempting to mount Sandra Bergman with his tri-barrel-schlong-of-doom scares you then DO NOT watch that movie. We never have to see the piece(s) of equipment in question, only three disturbing lumps in his clothing. No, I don't know if coitus with a frog is the cause of genital warts...

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • After a nuclear war sperm is da bomb!
  • Don't piss off a woman with a medium machine gun.
  • Having a monitoring device, complete with nut shocker, on your package, SUCKS.
  • Seeing a girl strip is less appealing when she's wearing really thick glasses.
  • Women in the military have camoflage lingerie.
  • Leading a woman around by a chain collar and leash is instant "Happy Thought Land."
  • If you're going to be sleeping with mutant frog girls keep a bag or two handy.
  • Being run through with a sword will not incapacitate you.
  • Having five women to knock up is pretty daunting.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 4 mins - Did that masked guy just ribbet?
  • 12 mins - A pink ambulance with a M60 mounted on it.
  • 21 mins - She worked "the flap" and it sounded like a suitcase lock opening.
  • 37 mins - A deserted refinery. Why is it that every city on Earth looks like a deserted refinery after WWIII is done?
  • 52 mins - That sounds just like Captain Devling.
  • 54 mins - Yikes, chainsaw! Common problem Bull, they always run out of gas when you are trying to dismember the hero.
  • 71 mins - Are they taking mortar or artillery fire? Oh, it's a recoiless rifle... ...but those don't impact like that...
  • 75 mins - Sam! What are you kidding? This is a bad movie, shoot the motionless bad guy.
  • 87 mins - Special thanks to Fred Olen Ray huh? That explains volumes.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note hellfrog1.wav Medtech: "Mr. Hellman, I can understand why you're so popular with the ladies...you've left a string of pregnancies everywhere you've been."
Green Music Note hellfrog2.wav Sam: "Hey ladies, you just about got my ass shot off back there! Now we're going into hostile mutant territory at full throttle. Damn, I hope you know what you're doing!"
Green Music Note hellfrog3.wav Commander Toty: "Dance for me!"
Green Music Note hellfrog4.wav Spangle: "Stop!"
Sam: "Why?"
Spangle: "You gotta to save yourself for fertiles."
Sam: "I have enough."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphellfrog1.mpg - 3.0m
Spangle's dance has the (un)desired effect on Commander Toty. "You have aroused the three snakes!" Aiiiieeeee!

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #1. Posted on February 05, 1999, 06:29:08 PM by tirinis@csrlink.net
Excellent movie!  This was the one that showed me the light of truly terrible movies.  I saw this up for auction on the internet so I put a bid on it, because Piper was in it.  He is the greatest wrestler of all time afterall, and I loved him in They Live!  I watch the movie, and decide to read more about it at the imdb.  I found a link to badmovies.org from there and my life has changed.  Thank you Mr. Piper!

---Chesna
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #2. Posted on February 22, 1999, 11:37:53 PM by startide@earthling.net
This is one of those enjoyable low budget "B" movies with any number of enjoyable lines.  If you liked this movie, you should catch Roddy Piper's other movie "They Live!" which has him saying some memorable lines, perhaps more so than in this fillm.   I only wish Roddy had been in more films since he has an earnest yet casual manner of acting that is appealing in "B" films.
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #3. Posted on April 10, 1999, 11:39:16 AM by NetFrog Alpha
One of the last fertile men on the planet is charged with impregnating as many women as possible, and also has to kill giant mutant frogs. I think every guy has wished for that at one point in their lives.
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #4. Posted on August 06, 1999, 08:21:14 AM by kbegg@park-ridge.lib.il.us
This film contains one of the great B-Movie lines ever.  When Bull, a giant man-frog sporting an eyepatch, tells our hero Sam Hell "You're one weird dude!", I about died laughing.  
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #5. Posted on February 02, 2000, 10:24:09 PM by Jon4474@AOL
That Fred Olen Ray crack at the end of your review was classic. I know just what you mean. It's frustrating being a struggling, aspiring filmmaker, and seeing this guy continueing to be funded to churn out crap. Anyway, for years, I searched for this movie after having seen the video box when I was too young to have a membership of my own. I finally found it again recently, and, of course, rented it immediately. the strange thing is that I saw the far inferior sequel first. Let me just briefly tell you that Frogtown 2 is bottom of the barrel filmmaking. It stars Robert Zdar, the guy from Tango and Cash with a huge jaw that Stallone had broke prior to his jail stay. The paper thin plot revolves around the returning frog masks, and a Texas Rocket rangers unit. That's right, and the only time you see these guys flying with their rocket packs, it's stock footage from The Rocketeer. Therefore, their costumes when they jump to the ground look just like that of Disney's Rocketeer.
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #6. Posted on February 06, 2000, 08:56:21 PM by
You should put a WAV file of "You have aroused the 3 snakes" on here. great movie
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Fisheating Fred
Frogtown three is called Toad Warrior. I've never seen it but that's what it's called.
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Green Hornet
Haveing been bad, I punished myself by watching this thing. Two things kick this disgrace into the toilet: If Piper's sperm is so important, WHY did they send him on a rescue mission where he could have gotten KILLED? And why the chastity belt that shocks his "package", risking killing or mutateing (electricty causes mutants in movies) his "juice"? Just another "Idiot World".
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Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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