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HOWLING II - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1984 Cinema '84 (Very original...)
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Ben - Brother of the deceased newscaster Karen White, (I'm hoping you've seen the first Howling.) he's the heroic hero type. You know, the kind of guy who will let out a manly yell while shooting someone in the back.
  • Jenny - Another reporter and Ben's girlfriend. Her job is either screaming ("Lookout Ben, behind you!") or helping Stefan convince her boyfriend this is all real.
  • Stefan - Christopher Lee! Seems that he's a 10,000 year old werewolf hunter who used to boink his sister. Transforms into a human tiki torch.
  • Vasile - Dwarf werewolf hunter, probably the best knife thrower I've ever seen. (Cough.) His eyes explode after hearing Stirba's demonic chant.
  • Tondo - Another companion of Stefan who turns out to be evil.
  • Mariana - Reputed to be among the most violent and cunning of female werewolves, which is why Ben kills her with a knife.
  • Vlad - Stirba's mate and high priest, also taken out by Ben.
  • Stirba - Sybil Danning! Queen of the werewolves and Stefan's sister. Also a tiki torch.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

First off, are there any budding Siskel and Ebert types out there who think this is a good movie? Yes? Hang it up buddy; go apply at Burger King or Sears; you are not going to make it as a movie reviewer and seem to have limited intelligence.

While definitely not a good film, this has some redeeming qualities and certainly worth watching just for Ben. He is angry for starters. Any time you have some big blonde guy wearing denim with an attitude... he can get eight shots out of a .38 revolver. (Look at the size of the cylinder, it is not going to happen.)

Basically, the film takes up where its predecessor left off. Karen White was just killed as she turned into a werewolf on television. Now, Stefan wants to drive a titanium stake through her heart. You may ask, "Why not silver or wood?" Turns out that some werewolves are immune to silver and only titanium can kill them. That must have sucked for those medieval villagers.

Priest: "You must use a weapon of pure titanium to kill the beast."
Villagers: "What the heck is titanium?"

Mr. Happy News goes on to drop another bombshell: The world is infested with lycanthropes and when Stirba finally comes to her full power all hell will break loose. Ben takes some convincing, but finally all three journey to Transylvania and hook up with Stefan's little band of freedom fighters there. After locating the castle mankind's last hope is armed with titanium weapons, two pistols, a rifle, holy water, blessed earplugs, and holy oil for the final conflict. Do not discount the oil. Stefan uses it like a grenade against one werewolf, dropping it in the hole and running as all sorts of pyrotechnics burst out.

Bottom line is that someone took a decent premise (depraved werewolf queen presides over her cursed subjects) and managed to screw it up big time. Reusing the same footage flashed before us over and over is just one symptom.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Christopher Lee looks odd in new age sunglasses.
  • Tough women drive Volkswagen Rabbits.
  • If a silver bullet kills someone then they are a werewolf.
  • Some werewolves are only harmed by titanium... (Boy were those villagers out of luck.)
  • Hitchhikers = werewolf takeout food.
  • Villages are always having some sort of festival.
  • Finding the one woman of color in a Transylvanian town should not be difficult.
  • Werewolves can throw their voice while chanting demonic rites.
  • Never wear a bell on you head when some viscous dwarf is running amok with a flail.
  • Spontaneous Human Combustion is caused by incest.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 4 mins - Um, the "dead girl" is breathing.
  • 11 mins - Ouch! (Bottle to the head.)
  • 11 mins - Ouch! (Pipe to the head.)
  • 12 mins - Ouch! (Crate to the head.)
  • 19 mins - Ewww, now that you put it that way.
  • 20 mins - Left your lights on... ...hey Ben, your lights are on... ...yo, MORON! Lights!
  • 24 mins - Next on Fox: When Wookies Attack.
  • 42 mins - Ben is wearing jeans and she has shorts on, but they are having sex.
  • 62 mins - Did you get those holy amulets at a garage sale or something?
  • 65 mins - Werewolf orgy!
  • 84 mins - How many times can we watch Stirba rip off her clothes during the ending credits remix?
    Let us see: 17 ...that would be seventeen.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note howlingii1.wav Jenny: "What do you know about the death of Karen White?"
Stefan: "I know that she is a werewolf."
Green Music Note howlingii2.wav Ben: "Jenny, what'd he say?"
Jenny: "He said your sister is a werewolf."
Ben: "Ah bullshit."
Green Music Note howlingii3.wav Stefan: "Even now there are great numbers of werewolves living secretly among us!"
Green Music Note howlingii4.wav Stirba: "Stefan, you never could resist me."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphowlingii1.mpg - 1.9m
Next on Fox: When Wookies Attack.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5
Howling II
Reply #17. Posted on October 09, 2002, 09:06:58 PM by GrimExodus
The movie is boring as hell.  The best part of the movie is the ending, when this awesome new wave group does a small music video with all the best parts of the movie. Who are those guys? They kick ass.
Howling II
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Jonathan & Christian
We have found the song sung by Babel (Stephen Parsons) from the movie "Howling II".  If you go on download the software install it.  It is labled as "Stephen Parsons - Howling.mp3."  Even though the movie is SHIAAAAT, the song kicks ass. Sybil Dannings tit are were the best things in the movie.  P.S. the movie is not on DVD, as far as I know it.
Howling II
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Orin Porter Rockwell
After watching this film you will be able to draw Sybil Danning's firm and ginormous breasts from memory!!! You get to look at her perfect rack no less then seventeen times due to the exploitation of her nude scene in the final credits. No wonder she was called "The Rip-Away-Bra Queen!!! Watch this film if you wish confirmation.
Howling II
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Lunar_Insomniac
I damn near ruptured something what with all the laughing that this "film" brought on.  But I did love the theme song and have been hunting it for years.
Howling II
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by JIm
This movie is worth seeing just for the ending credits of Sybil Danning taking her top off dozens of times in a row. Wow, only in the '80s could someone get away with that.
Howling II
Reply #22. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
Thee so called band in the club was none other than BABEL a punk rock group.

Actually I liked thee opening music from them but HATED it when they played it live in the film made it terrible.

Feed those fans in the crowd some dead rat meat mwaa ha ha ha ha haaa.

Howling 2 was GREAT. Even though it was funny with all the werewolf orgies n sex going on I found it howling 2 was a sequel for the mateing period of werewolfs. Whoever made the costumes should of been shot.

It did not even beat part 1's awsome scary look and part 2 just lost all focus from the prequal.
Howling II
Reply #23. Posted on May 04, 2004, 01:48:43 PM by Lilian
I havnt seen this movie but I know the actress in it, Sybil Dannings. My dad works with her.... I have known her for a long time but i never knew she was an actress until recently. Its really cool!
Howling II
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by hellstorm
I haven't watched Howling 2 in a long time but ws just thinking of the film. I say the best part about the film is watching that blond chick tear her clothes off. the bestial werewolf sex is awesome! Some good gore if I remember correctly too. I think the worst Howling movie is 3.
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