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HOWLING II - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1984 Cinema '84 (Very original...)
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Ben - Brother of the deceased newscaster Karen White, (I'm hoping you've seen the first Howling.) he's the heroic hero type. You know, the kind of guy who will let out a manly yell while shooting someone in the back.
  • Jenny - Another reporter and Ben's girlfriend. Her job is either screaming ("Lookout Ben, behind you!") or helping Stefan convince her boyfriend this is all real.
  • Stefan - Christopher Lee! Seems that he's a 10,000 year old werewolf hunter who used to boink his sister. Transforms into a human tiki torch.
  • Vasile - Dwarf werewolf hunter, probably the best knife thrower I've ever seen. (Cough.) His eyes explode after hearing Stirba's demonic chant.
  • Tondo - Another companion of Stefan who turns out to be evil.
  • Mariana - Reputed to be among the most violent and cunning of female werewolves, which is why Ben kills her with a knife.
  • Vlad - Stirba's mate and high priest, also taken out by Ben.
  • Stirba - Sybil Danning! Queen of the werewolves and Stefan's sister. Also a tiki torch.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

First off, are there any budding Siskel and Ebert types out there who think this is a good movie? Yes? Hang it up buddy; go apply at Burger King or Sears; you are not going to make it as a movie reviewer and seem to have limited intelligence.

While definitely not a good film, this has some redeeming qualities and certainly worth watching just for Ben. He is angry for starters. Any time you have some big blonde guy wearing denim with an attitude... ...plus he can get eight shots out of a .38 revolver. (Look at the size of the cylinder, it is not going to happen.)

Basically, the film takes up where its predecessor left off. Karen White was just killed as she turned into a werewolf on television. Now, Stefan wants to drive a titanium stake through her heart. You may ask, "Why not silver or wood?" Turns out that some werewolves are immune to silver and only titanium can kill them. That must have sucked for those medieval villagers.

Priest: "You must use a weapon of pure titanium to kill the beast."
Villagers: "What the heck is titanium?"

Mr. Happy News goes on to drop another bombshell: The world is infested with lycanthropes and when Stirba finally comes to her full power all hell will break loose. Ben takes some convincing, but finally all three journey to Transylvania and hook up with Stefan's little band of freedom fighters there. After locating the castle mankind's last hope is armed with titanium weapons, two pistols, a rifle, holy water, blessed earplugs, and holy oil for the final conflict. Do not discount the oil. Stefan uses it like a grenade against one werewolf, dropping it in the hole and running as all sorts of pyrotechnics burst out.

Bottom line is that someone took a decent premise (depraved werewolf queen presides over her cursed subjects) and managed to screw it up big time. Reusing the same footage flashed before us over and over is just one symptom.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Christopher Lee looks odd in new age sunglasses.
  • Tough women drive Volkswagen Rabbits.
  • If a silver bullet kills someone then they are a werewolf.
  • Some werewolves are only harmed by titanium... (Boy were those villagers out of luck.)
  • Hitchhikers = werewolf takeout food.
  • Villages are always having some sort of festival.
  • Finding the one woman of color in a Transylvanian town should not be difficult.
  • Werewolves can throw their voice while chanting demonic rites.
  • Never wear a bell on you head when some viscous dwarf is running amok with a flail.
  • Spontaneous Human Combustion is caused by incest.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 4 mins - Um, the "dead girl" is breathing.
  • 11 mins - Ouch! (Bottle to the head.)
  • 11 mins - Ouch! (Pipe to the head.)
  • 12 mins - Ouch! (Crate to the head.)
  • 19 mins - Ewww, now that you put it that way.
  • 20 mins - Left your lights on... ...hey Ben, your lights are on... ...yo, MORON! Lights!
  • 24 mins - Next on Fox: When Wookies Attack.
  • 34 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 42 mins - Ben is wearing jeans and she has shorts on, but they are having sex.
  • 62 mins - Did you get those holy amulets at a garage sale or something?
  • 65 mins - Werewolf orgy!
  • 84 mins - How many times can we watch Stirba rip off her clothes during the ending credits remix?
    Let us see: 17 ...that would be seventeen.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note howlingii1.wav Jenny: "What do you know about the death of Karen White?"
Stefan: "I know that she is a werewolf."
Green Music Note howlingii2.wav Ben: "Jenny, what'd he say?"
Jenny: "He said your sister is a werewolf."
Ben: "Ah bullshit."
Green Music Note howlingii3.wav Stefan: "Even now there are great numbers of werewolves living secretly among us!"
Green Music Note howlingii4.wav Stirba: "Stefan, you never could resist me."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphowlingii1.mpg - 1.9m
Next on Fox: When Wookies Attack.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3 4 5
Howling II
Reply #9. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Macabre Matt
Howling II, aka. "Your sister is a Werewolf" and "Stirba, Werewolf b***h!" The film is s**t, not even Sybil's topless shots or Christopher Lee's appearance in the film make it worthwhile, (did he really need the money that badly?) Directed by Philippe Mora, who also directed the even worst "Howling III - The Marsupials". Give 'em both a miss.
Howling II
Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Nostracorvus
While the movie had a lot to be desired, overall it is not really a bad film. In fact, I read online that Elisabeth Brooks(the sexiest werewolf ever) was slated to be in this sequel but turned it down due to illness. So in hollywood, at the time, this may not have been such a horrible movie. I mean worse movies have been made..like  all other howlings since and most zombie movies I've ever watched (though Lucio Fucli's Zombie is great). I wish they had released a soundtrack to this film though. To be honest I liked Christopher Lee's character in the movie, but I didn't like Reb Brown or Annie Mcenroe in the leads. It was a fun movie that maynot be the total best but hey, it coulda been the Howling: New Moon Rising...
Howling II
Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
I like the movie it had Reb (CAPTAIN AMERICA)Brown and Christopher Lee and the Realllly one hot sexxy woman in the world Ms. SYBIL DANNING. I think it's far better than the third one and the others and to Macabre Matt don't knock it Sybil topless scenes and in the bed you must be gay not to like it.
Howling II
Reply #12. Posted on August 08, 2003, 09:19:10 AM by Hakan
I watch that if I was 11 at 1986 first Time.... I think this is one of the best  Werewolf Movies ever....  in the 80s  movies like this  are very famous. But now,no one make  movies same like in the 80s,very sad.  Specially  Chrishtopher lee  is the Best actor for Horror Movies (or he was the best)! No other actor can make it better for the Dracula Movies....
Howling II
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Steven Millan
   Enjoyable horror cheesiness....just the type that I like when in the right drunken mood(many of the late 90s post-"Scream" era movies,with the exception of anything involving vampires and Tim Burton,are far,far worse).The delightful presences of Christopher Lee and Sybil Danning(the Number
One B Queen of the Universe)make this one watchable.By the way,I recently heard an on-line rumor that Sybil resurrected
her acting career in Canada with "Herbatel"(a sci-fi outing with Robert Z'Dar)and "Ruger:L.A. Bounty 2".Is this all really true?Hopefully,we'll hear more about this within the
New Year,and,by the way,isn't a review of "L.A. Bounty" on this site long overdue?
Howling II
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Mark
This is the best cheesy film ever! I rent it every couple of years and bask in the warm glow of its cheesy awfulness. Come on! The opening alone with Christopher Lee's booming narration is worth the rental fee. And that soundtrack is a classic. I have searched for it for many years without success. It is the holy grail of film soundtracks. If anyone ever tracks it down, drop me a line.

Godman99@hotmail.com
Howling II
Reply #15. Posted on November 05, 2002, 07:12:18 PM by David
I saw at the very end of the credits (after the gratuitous repeating breast shot) that the soundtrack is (or was back in 1984) available thru Filmtracks music...never heard of them and I have searched for years.   I do have The Howling II theme on Themes of Horror II however.  No words, just music.   The movie still sucks though.
Howling II
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by AlphaWoolf
I don't care for the original "Howling", and this one is even worse.  Still, I'll watch paint dry if Sybil Danning's talents are featured.
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