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HYBRID - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1997, American Independent-Productions Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Dr. Paul Hamilton - Colonel, USMC who has a doctorate in hydroponics, I'm sorry? We need that in the Marines?
  • Dr. Leslie Morgan - Brinke Stevens! Field medical doctor, every guy she wants - dies.
  • Dr. Milo Tyrell - Computer geek and I think he was made out of plastic, or something like that.
  • Frank Blaine - Marine Corps Sergeant who is fat, bearded, and wears earrings.
  • Carla Ferguson - Communications specialist and medical assistant. She's got that half-open mouth pornstar look all the time.
  • McQueen - Some guy looking for his son.
  • Pike and Susan - Fodder, the Hybrid eats them in the first 3 minutes.
  • The Hybrid - A human-alien-cockroach-snake thing that appears to be a melted Godzilla suit. Don't yell at me, I didn't write it.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Modern and hardly progressive this is still a great bad movie (no that's not an oxymoron) and a personal favorite of mine. The first full two minutes are supposed to be an alien attack destroying our planet, I concluded this after several viewings and will stand by it. To the casual observer the eclectic ending of Earth might appear to be stock footage from some science fiction film and random pyrotechnics going off in a junkyard, that's why I'm here - to make everything clear. (Hehe!) What we then have is a group of Army types who have been traveling through the wasteland for some time, I don't really know what they're looking for but neither do they so it's okay. Despite roughing it for months everyone appears well groomed and clean, including Carla with her elaborately manicured nails. After meeting McQueen, who is pretending to be a corpse so he can ambush travelers (in the middle of a desert after doomsday), they take shelter in a secret science facility. Unfortunately the facility is inhabited by a genetic experiment gone bad and that's where all the fun lies. My favorite part is when Carla and Leslie find the showers. Despite knowing a killer monster is loose both drop all their weapons and clothes to jump in and soap each other up! Some great one liners in this film and just stuff that makes you ask "Why?" I am proud to have seen this film.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • The end of the world looks remarkably like someone setting off pyrotechnics in a junkyard.
  • After the apocalypse earth looks like Arizona.
  • Anything can be fixed by beating on it.
  • Never poke corpses you find lying in the wasteland, they are pretending and attempt to kill you while your friends watch.
  • Do not send two women to find anything while there is a killer monster around. They will invariably find the showers and engage in a lesbian sex scene therein.
  • Large monsters easily sneak up on you.
  • Monsters love to have sex with women and they will redress the girl afterward.
  • Monsters hate doors, it's almost obsessive-compulsive, they will continuously stare at, scream at, and beat on doors.
  • Being wounded in the arm is the quickest way to get laid.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 24 mins - That must be the most lifelike wax hand covered in blood I've ever seen...
  • 26 mins - The famous "Hybrid Lesbian Shower Scene." Man, these girls have some clean hips.
  • 54 mins - McQueen fires a 12-gauge shotgun without any recoil or muzzel flash?
  • 57 mins - Milo writes a decryption program for a top secret computer in about thirty keystrokes.
  • 67 mins - Dr. Morgan's dream sequence includes visions of the Hybrid she's never seen.
  • 68 mins - The Hybrid and Dr. Morgan fit through that little hole in the grate?
  • 69 mins - Did the monster iron Milo to death? Why is his face melted?
  • Ending Credits - The catering was provided by "Com'n get it boy!"

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note hybrid1.wav Milo: "This place doesn't look a damn thing like the travel brochure."
Carla: "Now you know why they're only selling one way tickets."
Green Music Note hybrid2.wav Leslie: "You know I need more time and better facilities to be sure, but offhand I'd say these are claw marks."
Green Music Note hybrid3.wav Carla: "I dunno, I don't think I can sleep - at least not alone."
Leslie: "Oh, wait a minute, you're not thinking..."
Green Music Note hybrid4.wav Blaine: "God damn alien-hybrid-snakeman creature."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliphybrid1.mpg - 1.5m
Okay, now pan all the actor's reactions. Good, I'm certain that this was appreciated by the audience.

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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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