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KRULL - 3 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1983 Barclays Mercantile Industrial Finance Limited
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Colwyn - Heroic prince who wishes to free his world from the evil Beast. He is also made out of something fire retardant.
  • Lyssa - Princess who dearly loves Colwyn, even though she has known him for about one hour and it is an arranged marriage.
  • Ergo - Inept sorcerer who has some ego problems.
  • Ynyr - Ancient wise man with darn little common sense. Dies after he runs out of sand. (Go watch the movie and stop scratching your head over what that means.)
  • Torquil - Bandit and robber, he does not really exhibit any good qualities, but Colwyn likes him for some reason.
  • The Cyclops - Powerful warrior who can see into the future, unfortunately the only thing he can see is his own death. Ends up as a one eyed pancake.
  • Kegan - Liam Neeson! One of Torquil's fellow bandits who has a wife in almost every village. Shot by a Slayer.
  • The Widow of the Web - Once beloved of Ynyr, she has been sentenced to life imprisonment for killing his son. Eaten by a giant spider.
  • Turold - Colwyn's father, the late king.
  • Eirig - Lyssa's father, another late king. (In case you missed it, I'm not talking about punctuality.)
  • Rhun and the Merry Men - The rest of the bandits, just here so someone can die every other scene or so.
  • The Emerald Seer and Titch - Old man and his little apprentice, the seer is killed and replaced by a servant to the Beast.
  • The Slayers - Army of armored creatures which serve the Beast. When you kill one red special effects go off and it's skull splits open, then something nasty burrows into the ground.
  • The Beast - Conqueror of worlds, ruler of the known galaxy, but I've seen piles of sticks with better skill at romance. Roasted alive by Colwyn.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

If you were any sort of fantasy film lover alive during the 80's it is impossible to imagine that "Krull" did not grab your attention at the video store. Not only does it have an impressive cast (so many of these people appeared in other films, though I only mentioned Liam with the "!"), there are swords, lasers, monsters, and even a remote control 10,000rpm throwing star! Coolness!

Along the lines of plot, well the film is a textbook example of some evil power stealing the hero's true love and him fighting to gain her back, with some sidetracks to show just how fantastic the setting is. Even though the Beast is a towering reptile monster it desires Lyssa to be his bride, she is a little unnerved by this. (Not the least of which would be consummating the event, yikes!) Slayers take her prisoner and leave Colwyn for dead, but the prince is saved by a wise old man and easily gathers a party of loyal friends to assist him in attacking an impregnable fortress.

The special effects range from downright ludicrous, such as the amazing flying Clydesdales scene, to exceptional. The stop motion spider that guards the Widow is a gorgeous piece of work. There is nothing like watching a convincing arachnid scaled to the size of a small house. Most of the acting I can do without, but Ergo was my favorite character. When not bumbling spells and turning himself into a goose, the little guy is extolling his own virtues, which leads to some amusing descriptive phrases.

No matter what "real" critics say, you can not get me to hate this film.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Women can make water catch on fire.
  • Advanced alien armies, which have conquered the known galaxy, use horses for land transportation.
  • Heroes are made from asbestos.
  • When traveling as a flaming meteorite one should avoid ponds or other bodies of water.
  • Kings carry master keys to every lock in their kingdom. (Which probably work on chastity belts too.)
  • Spider web sounds just like wind chimes when you shake it.
  • Beauty might not be skin deep, but love sure the heck is.
  • Cyclops are made out of Kevlar.
  • Boomerang throwing stars, that you intend on chucking at some slimy alien overlord, should have a nonstick coating.
  • Marriage vows are based on a grisly way to flame broil the bride and groom's enemies.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - Advanced enough to have propane torches, but still using bows and swords...
  • 16 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A HAY CART!
  • 22 mins - Colwyn is really spry for having a laser lance pierce his shoulder. Oh, rock climbing now!
  • 54 mins - Great idea Beast, keep traumatizing her with weird visions, I can see this being a successful marriage.
  • 56 mins - Hehehe! He actually stood up in the quicksand for a moment.
  • 58 mins - Everyone is darn clean after wading through all that quicksand.
  • 74 mins - The phrase you are looking for is "Oh shit!" What did you expect was living in that huge web anyway?
  • 84 mins - Why didn't you get a weekly schedule or something? That way they would know when the fortress was visiting some local area.
  • 91 mins - Holy blue screen Batman!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note krull1.wav Ynyr: "This it was given me to know, that many worlds have been enslaved by the Beast and his army, the Slayers."
Green Music Note krull2.wav Ergo: "I am Ergo the Magnificent! Short in stature, tall in power, narrow of purpose, and wide of vision, and I do not travel with peasants and beggars. Good bye!"
Green Music Note krull3.wav Torquil: "I don't kill men without good reason."
Green Music Note krull4.wav Ergo: "My name is no jest, beanpole. It's all very well to have a short name when you're twenty feet tall, but small people need large names to give them weight."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipkrull1.mpg - 2.3m
Colwyn vs. the Beast.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 6 7 [8]
Re: Krull
Reply #57. Posted on December 23, 2010, 03:21:00 PM by A Big Teletubby
Very funny and cheesy movie, some of the special effects were actually pretty good, like the slayers death when the things burrow into the ground and the changelings. Other bits were amazingly bad. I was very surprised that you missed one of the worst lines in the movie. When the heroes are getting attacked while climbing the fortress the fat bandit who was played by Robbie Coltrane takes a laser to the gut, and while dying, manages to say "You were right, the voyage was all worth it" and then dies!!! I thought that the people seemed amazingly unfazed and others deaths. When the seer dies his son is like "oh... He was my only family." Then the bandits tell him that they are his family now and he is immediately cheered up!
Re: Krull
Reply #58. Posted on January 02, 2011, 09:14:44 PM by Umaril The Unfeathered
I remember seeing KRULL in the theatres when it first came out (way back when I was a young teen) and thought it was pretty neat. 

But looking at it now, it's something that dosen't hold me attention for some reason.  I did, however, dig the Slayers and their laser poles and the way they would leave their bodily shells with that hideous scream when they were defeated.

Many of the replies allude to the same thing-it was cool then, but now it's like "what the hell were they thinking, and what the hell was I thinking for watching it?"

I guess you can really never go back again...
Re: Krull
Reply #59. Posted on March 29, 2011, 04:00:13 PM by ralphyralph
Yeah this is a seriously awesome B movie, on par with Battlefield Earth. Why only three drippy thingies for the rating? Should get top marks.
Re: Krull
Reply #60. Posted on April 17, 2011, 04:24:33 PM by Crom
In responce to the op's original post in my opinion Conan the Barbarian is a great film, Beastmaster is a fun film, and Krull is, well, Krull.

Krull is also one of the only films I have ever fallen asleep during back in the heyday of my 80's video rental dominated youth. I don't know if I was just really tired that night, or if Krull really did bore me into sleepy oblivion, but in an age where I watched everything I could get my hands on, pretty much regardless of age, genre, quality, or budget, it was Krull that put me to sleep.

The only other film that I recall doing that on video was a z-grade ninja film that starred Richard Harrison. Now being a child of the 80's, knowing who Sho Kosugi was, I have no problem with that. Sure his films aren't exactly award winners, but at least Sho Kosugi was cool. You know, in the 80's. To crazy kids like me. I always thought of him as kind of like the asian Charles Bronson in a funny sort of way. But knowing who Richard Harrison was, for that I have no excuse, and no child should be exposed to such knowledge at such an age. Maybe not at any age. I mean he called himself Master Ninja Gordon in most of his films for Christ sakes. Sadly there are some things you just can't unlearn... 

Anyway back to Krull, I haven't actually seen it in so long that I don't really even remember it any longer, just fragments really. Hmmm, maybe I should revisit...
Re: Krull
Reply #61. Posted on April 22, 2011, 03:01:07 AM by wolfsemtex
This movie seems to have a massive following.  I have talked to a ton of people that love this movie, and all of them have indicated that they haven't watched it since they were kids.  I somehow missed watching it when I was a kid, and seeing it first time as an adult, I realized even after watching it twice, I could barely remember a damn thing about the movie, other then it being kind of plodding and not making a damn bit of sense (horse riding alien invaders, fire mares that were easier to catch than blind puppies, and the fact that the stupid glaive could have been a game changer in every single fight they were in!).  I love b flicks, but I couldn't bring myself to love this one.  If you have great memories of this flick from when you were young, you might want to think twice before rewatching this one.  Just my opinion though, as I said, some people freaking love this movie! Buggedout
Re: Krull
Reply #62. Posted on April 22, 2011, 06:41:31 AM by Psycho Circus
One of THE great adventure sword/sorcery type films of the 1980s. Great watching it when you're a kid, but I'll agree I did struggle with it when re-watching as a "grown-up". It does seem to drag and I honestly thought it was a bit more lively and action packed, but I did still get a good nostalgia kick from Krull. Lots of memories came flashing back to me, being plonked in the living room on a Sunday afternoon on the white shag carpet staring in wonder at the images on our wood panelled TV screen....

Plus, Lysette Anthony was great, even if she was dubbed.  Smile
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