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KUNG FU OF 8 DRUNKARDS - 2 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1980 Magnilicent (sic) Tower Film Co.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Chang Fung - Young man who wishes to learn Kung Fu (don't we all).
  • Wu Tseng - The Drunken Master, he is pursued by four evil men.
  • Monkey - Good man at heart but addicted to gambling, appears to have the mange.
  • Pao Yu - Attractive girl who falls for Chang Fung, father kills her by accident.
  • Uncle Chang - Shopkeeper related to Chang Fung, constantly beat up.
  • Tong Tong - Uncle Chang's daughter.
  • Silver and Gold Tiger - Two warriors for Mr. Pao whose hair is spray painted silver or gold, killed by Chang Fung.
  • Mr. Pao - Leader of the evil group who wishes to kill Wu Tseng, killed by Chang Fung.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Alcoholism and Kung Fu, what a combination. Some great scenes in this movie folks and a midget thrown in for no obvious reason! Wu Tseng, who we never see without a terra cotta jar full of wine, is teaching Chang Fung a special form of Kung Fu. Remember "The Karate Kid" and the parts with "show me washing the car" and "painting the fence?" This movie has "make a toast" and "take another drink..." Uncle Chang's restaurant and body get stomped after the evil men discover Chang Fung is Wu Tseng's pupil, so the young man goes on a revenge tour. Plenty of odd characters running around with their own goofy Kung Fu fighting styles, Silver and Gold Tiger use their hands like claws and appear to be scratching at people! Eventually the main evil guy is revealed to be Pao Yu's father and a climatic battle occurs ending in victory for good drunks everywhere! The movie ends as we see Chang Fung teaching Monkey the art of drunken fighting. Terrific film with very little plot other than "how can we get a fight in here."

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Never crouch over broken pottery.
  • Drunken Shoalin monks make pretty good teachers.
  • Men's ponytails become erect when seeing a pretty girl. (This is why we get sex ed in high school.)
  • Getting beat up by a drunk is pretty embarrassing.
  • A woman's Kung Fu punches sound like rubbing two pieces of sandpaper together.
  • Kung Fu flicks should not contain a synthesized version of "Dixie Land."
  • There is a powerful form of Kung Fu in which you scratch your opponent to death.
  • Never stick your hand through your daughter.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • Beginning Credits - Directior? What's a Directior? I'd say the proof-reader is working for Burger King by now...
  • 7 mins - What the hell is up with this Hee-Haw music?
  • 8 mins - The sign says not to urinate on the wall so what does he do...
  • 18 mins - Hey a midget!
  • 19 mins - He's beating up this guy with a wicker basket?
  • 21 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A MIDGET!
  • 28 mins - What's up with this guy's head anyway? It looks like one of those "Yeti Scalps" the weirdos are always selling.
  • 32 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST NOODLES!
  • 45 mins - He's beating up people with an abacus! What the heck is that pronged thing? He's going to stick it up the guy's wazoo!
  • 83 mins - Is this guy going to claw him to death?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note kungfudrunk1.wav Chang Fung: "You drink it yourself I've had enough!"
Wu Tseng: "There's no point trying to leave 'til you've learned all your Kung Fu."
Green Music Note kungfudrunk2.wav Monkey: "No urinating on the wall, any offenders will be prosecuted. Urinating is not permitted."
Green Music Note kungfudrunk3.wav Pao Yu: "I'm surprised that your Kung Fu is so expert."
Green Music Note kungfudrunk4.wav Chang Fung: "Master, I can't drink anymore."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipkungfudrunk1.mpg - 2.0m
Being larger than someone and having them kick your butt is bad enough, but when they use a wicker basket to do it the humiliation is much worse.

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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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