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LAKE PLACID - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1999 Phoenix Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Kelly Scott - Bridget Fonda! Bitchy paleontologist who seems to attract severed heads, though I'm pretty sure she's not happy about that.
  • Jack Wells - Bill Pullman! Fish and Game representative and the voice of reason.
  • Sheriff Hank Keough - Unhappy man, despite seeming to be fairly bright and witty everyone throws the Neanderthal jokes his way.
  • Hector Cyr - Oliver Platt! Rich guy who loves swimming with crocodiles, he is a grade A nut case.
  • Mrs. Bickerman - Betty White! Cantankerous (And I mean Cantankerous.) old woman who has been living on the lake for years, she's also been feeding cattle to the crocodile.
  • Deputy Gare - She falls for Hector, I have no idea why.
  • The Crocodile - A thirty foot monster which has migrated to Maine...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The technology and actors recruited for these things might keep getting better, but one look at the plot and you have to wonder. All of our characters gravitate to the backwoods of Maine, bent on investigating the strange death of a diver studying beaver populations. Pretty soon the truth is apparent, for some reason an enormous tropical crocodile has made the lake his home. Not only that, but the darn thing seems to be diabetic or possibly warm blooded. (Which would explain it's high rate of metabolism and ability to survive winters in Maine.) So we have Jack and Sheriff Keough running around trying to kill the thing, Kelly is mostly on the conservation side, (Save the fig bucking crocodile!), and Hector probably wants to build a shrine. That last gentleman on our list is a piece of art by the way, when he's not setting snare traps (Which might seriously screw with a human, but not some reptile weighing a few thousand pounds.) he's ranting about them being "dragons." True, the English description of such monsters would closely match a giant crocodile, but the beast in question would have eaten Saint George's horse, then the unhappy knight. After a few close calls, one too close for a deputy, they decide to trap the monster. Just see the plan going all wrong and everyone running all over the place trying to avoid the snapping jaws don't you? You'd be absolutely correct, a few even blaze away with rifles to no effect. Which leads me to a final question, ignoring the strange shotgun/antitank weapon Sheriff Keough owns, why didn't anyone have a weapon capable of killing this thing? I'm certain a good rifle, such as a 30-06, 300 Win, or even 458 Win, would have done just fine.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Crocodiles have a difficult time with bite sized divers.
  • Sexual harassment laws are starting to border on ridiculous.
  • Field work is not a requirement for a degree in Paleontology.
  • It's hard to remember someone in a good way when all you have to cry over is a big toe.
  • I don't need to watch some overweight county sheriff, with bed head and in his underwear, take a leak.
  • Crocodiles like to play with boat anchors.
  • Never try to commiserate a friend dying with some mental guy.
  • Cows can't fly.
  • Radar will detect submerged crocodiles.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - Sort of a large and still lake for beavers, oh never mind, they're just mops of hair pulled along on a string.
  • 13 mins - What sort of firearm is that again?
  • 18 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SHERIFF!
  • 26 mins - That pickup line worked? I am going to Maine...
  • 32 mins - Whole lot of love here, whole lot of love.
  • 35 mins - It carefully gutted and ate the moose?
  • 44 mins - Well, it just ate the only Grizzly living in Maine...
  • 49 mins - How did they get all the groundwater out of the print so they could make the cast of it?
  • 52 mins - I never thought I'd hear Betty White say that.
  • 61 mins - Let me remind you, it recently tried to eat your helicopter.
  • 69 mins - Kelly was submerged for just under one minute. Not bad for someone who does not exercise and is full of adrenaline.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note lakeplacid1.wav Kelly: "I don't do field, and even if I did, Maine? I'm allergic to timber!"
Her Boss: "Kelly..."
Kelly: "I am not going to Maine."
Green Music Note lakeplacid2.wav Jack: "Do you know how your husband died?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Oh yes, I killed him!"
Jack: "You killed him?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Oh yes!"
Green Music Note lakeplacid3.wav Mrs. Bickerman: "If I had a dick this is where I'd tell you to suck it."
Sheriff: "Did the crocodile kill your husband?"
Mrs. Bickerman: "Yes, but it was all... ...it was a mistake."
Kelly: "A mistake?"
Green Music Note lakeplacid4.wav Hector: "Let's not overlook the fact that he didn't eat me."
Jack: "'Cause he just ate a cow, stupid!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliplakeplacid1.mpg - 1.8m
Crocodiles love the taste of bear.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7
Lake Placid
Reply #9. Posted on May 04, 2000, 07:34:06 AM by Chris K.
LAKE PLACID can reach the good film standards, but it acts as if the giant alligator-on-the-loose-and-eating-people story was never used. Wrong! The giant alligator(or giant crocodile in other films) was used in THE GREAT ALLIGATOR(1979),CROCODILE(1980), ALLIGATOR(1980), ALLIGATOR 2(1983), KILLER CROCODILE(1988), and KILLER CROCODILE 2(1989). But LAKE PLACID is not that bad of a film. An example of bad flms would be the remakes of both THE HAUNTING, THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, PSYCHO, and regular films like THE MATRIX, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, and others. The special effects on LAKE PLACID range from substandard to horrible, the performances are not even close to effective, and the story is too slow. But their is a good twist ending, otherwise LAKE PLACID is a film that you definately need to pass.
Lake Placid
Reply #10. Posted on April 06, 2002, 10:06:11 PM by Kaoslord
I just liked the part where they haul the crocodile away in an open truck bed.  I kept wondering what I would do if I was driving down the interstate and say a truck hauling a croc that size.
Lake Placid
Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Mike
Lake Placid was great.  I saw it in the theaters the first day it came out.  The best part was when it grabbed the bear and ripped it into the lake, aand the bear tried to fight back but it couldn't,,,AAAAAHHHHH.  I happen to be a big fan of monster movies of all types, cheesy or not, that's probably why I like it so much.
Lake Placid
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Chadzilla
Lake Placid disappointed me, made me angry, annoyed me, and, sometimes, entertained me.  The only reason I would watch this sorry movie again would be to watch the fine animatronics created by Stan Winston, but the CGI croc is not very realistic.  The "twist" ending p**sed me off.  It was a lazy writer and film crew trying to have it boths ways, you cannot kill and save the monster at the same time.  If I see one more swearing old lady I'm gonna puke, it's neither funny nor shocking.  It's BORING.  The characters were irritating, especially Bridget Fonda as Ally McBeal.  The best acting in this movie was Brendan Gleason as the sheriff, he brought such a wounded dignity to his part, or maybe it was just his melancholy at being in such a stink bomb of a movie showing through, that I felt he was a far superior example of a human being than all the other characters.
Lake Placid
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Tequila
Oh come on! How come Brendan Gleason didn't get a name check in the Characters section? After the General, MI2, Braveheart, Michael Collins, The Field etc, he's surely name enough. I mean, if you're gonna list Oliver Platt as a selling point. Jesus....
Anyway, this is a great movie in the same vein as Tremors (why is that film not reviewed on this site???) in that it's a movie thats about people bickering that just happens to have a giant animal and the odd bodypart floating around in it. Some great lines too. "I just have this feeling that everything is totally safe..." (Cue the croc)
Lake Placid
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by MATT
This movie was good and bad,
The theme was all there,but where was the action,I remeber my alltime favorite croc film called"crocodile" I think<it was an old film>and  the film would let you see the people getting swallowed and that would scare the heebies outta me,but thats what I think people like,there was a good sexy theme aswell.
I,d give it 6/10

matt
Lake Placid
Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Macabre Matt
Loved the film, saw it when it first came out in the cinema's.
Lake Placid
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Me
After carefully reading the whole list of B-movies, I've reached the conclusion that this is the only one I've seen. But when I saw it, I pretty much accepted every single movie I saw AND I loved monster movies, so I sort of like it. I don't remember it well, it was a pretty forgettable movie. What I do remember is that there wasn't much action, so it was a little bit boring. Does someone know if there's a way to recommend titles for the site?
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