Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT


LAP DANCING - 1 Slimes
Unrated
Copyright 1995 Lap Dancing Productions Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Angie - Naive girl from Omaha who wants to be an actress.
  • Claudia - Angie's roommate, everyone throws her failed singing career in her face.
  • Sam - Blind producer who wants to help Angie.
  • Sandy - Older stripper whose boyfriend beats her, she also loves produce. (It's an interesting story, but I'm not going into it.)
  • Irene - Attractive girl with the least silicon apparent, she hooks on the side for kicks.
  • Michael - Angie's old boyfriend who turns out to be a royal jerk.
  • Manny - Manager of the club, evidently he has a small penis.
  • Chuck - Bartender who is in love with Claudia.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Little Angie came to Hollywood with stars in her eyes, unfortunately she only ended up with Michael between her thighs. After months of being turned down for parts, mainly due to the fact that she sucks at auditions, she decides to take Claudia's advice and come work at the club. Get some real world experience, earn some cash, broaden her - um - horizons. What this sets the audience up for is just over an hour of naked women, with very little plot to cover them. Sure, she learns about Sandy's abusive boyfriend, Irene's addiction to sex, and her own budding bisexuality. How in the heck does wriggling in some guy's lap for ten minutes make you a better actress? Where have you seen a strip club that the main stage is ten yards from the audience and all the girls working the floor stop to watch when a main act is on stage? Last complaint about the club, the stripper to customer ratio is about equal, with the women earning only twenty bucks a dance and the bar only moderately busy how does this place stay open? Needless to say, Angie does learn about life's hard knocks and her second audition for the same part is a complete success. (You heard me, they let her take a second crack at casting about one week later.) I will tell you right now, this film is awful, only nonstop silicon makes it worth the time for anyone appreciating such things.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Strippers spend their days off practicing lap dances in the living room.
  • Innocent young girls from Nebraska tend to be shaved (You know what I mean.) and get really hot when other women touch them.
  • When I grow up I want to be that guy who interviews prospective strippers.
  • Strippers rarely pay for groceries.
  • Alcoholics have runny noses.
  • Blind guys are easy to trust.
  • Blind guys also like to hang out at strip clubs.
  • Blind guys are also deadly in hand to hand combat.
  • Female lounge singers are hot acts in strip clubs.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - Nudity in the opening credits, oh baby!
  • 11 mins - She is so annoyed with him they're going to have sex, that'll teach the jerk...
  • 12 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 17 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 23 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 27 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 28 mins - Whoa! (You'll have to see the scene, but let's just say it's not a breast shot.)
  • 33 mins - Why do you think he put his hand in his lap?
  • 35 mins - Need a towel buddy?
  • 39 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 47 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 49 mins - Her black eye sure healed up quickly.
  • 55 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 63 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 72 mins - Making her remember getting raped at the age of thirteen made her horny? What?
  • 72 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • Ending Credits - I'm certain to have missed some random gratuitous breast shots up there, but it was a heck of a try.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note lapdancing1.wav Director: "I am so sick and tired of these f***ing actresses with big tits!"
Green Music Note lapdancing2.wav Claudia: "If I could act, I wouldn't be stripping."
Green Music Note lapdancing3.wav Angie: "Sandy, why do you dance?"
Sandy: "Why do I dance? I've got a good body, an okay face, and I know how to dance."
Green Music Note lapdancing4.wav Sam: "Half naked? Oh my God! I'm in a titty bar, I didn't see a thing, honest!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage
Image


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliplapdancing1.mpg - 2.5m
Irene dancing.

 Leave a commentEXTRASBuy the movie 

Share It!Buy the movieIMDB Logo
Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review
Digg This ReviewDigg This Review
Buy it from Amazon.com (United States)

Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: [1]
Lap Dancing
Reply #1. Posted on January 09, 2000, 01:34:26 PM by Mat
Why we dont just call this movie:
RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT
it will be better........
Lap Dancing
Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Mingo
Fenris,
     How could you possibly give this movie a 2 Star-rating!  Not only was it an intimate view into the wonderful world of ,,errr Dancing, but it showed the hard work, dedication and strengh of character it takes to make it in the business. Plus it was Kitty Kat's Favorite Drama!  While it only appears that I have fallen off the wagon again and found Jack, as well as this site again, I am truely disturbed by the lack of feeling for this little priceless work of ,,, errr art!  This movie deserves 4 stars minimum just for the looks of horror on every woman's face that first night it ever graced the screens of your living room.
Lap Dancing
Reply #3. Posted on August 31, 2000, 07:42:47 PM by some dude
i dunno good movie i guess, and dude here in nebraska there is no such thing as an "inocent girl" and yes they do shave (you know what i mean)
Lap Dancing
Reply #4. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by lostmissy
sounds like you need a "gratuitous plot shot" for this little gem!!
Lap Dancing
Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Swiff
ROFL!!!

I used to watch this on Cinemax back when I was 12 or 13...I don't know why you bothered to review it, its basically a soft-core porn movie.

(But the main actress was incredibly hot)
Re: Lap Dancing
Reply #6. Posted on December 21, 2006, 12:49:38 PM by KYGOTC
Uh, are yew sure that this izznt just a porno, Andrew?
Re: Lap Dancing
Reply #7. Posted on August 04, 2009, 05:29:32 PM by annoymous
Did the writers of Showgirls see this film before writing this movie because this movie seems similar in a way to it.
Pages: [1]
 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.