MALEORVS
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| Not Rated
| | Copyright 1990 Gore Galore Productions Ltd.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- James - James. Quasi leader of the group, he spends half the movie tripping over his lines. Splattered by Maleorvs.
- Dave - Scott, a conservative who finds people melting very amusing. Choked by Maleorvs.
- Eric - A.J. Young lad who studies occult books. Taken over by Maleorvs.
- Daniel - D.R. Sort of a quiet guy who wears an Indiana Jones hat. Mashed by Maleorvs.
- Kevin - Gary. Nerdy virgin, melted into jello.
- James' Mom - Gary's mom. Lady who isn't used to finding melted kids in her kitchen.
- Inbred Woodsman - Jason. I think that description should suffice. Dead meat.
- Maleorvs - A powerful Greek demon thing.
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| Almost ten years ago some of the people I know from high school made this mess for a Latin class project. I've been trying to figure out the connection ever since, so far I've come up with this: Maleorvs has a "V" instead of a "U" in it. (Tick tock, tick tock...) Anyway, a group of friends who often play Dungeons and Dragons is confronted with an ancient evil when Eric discovers the key to freeing Maleorvs. Soon the young man is half possessed by the demon and committing heinous acts to feed it's hunger. After suddenly melting Kevin it forces him to run off into the woods. The remainder of the group wastes little time in trying to track down the monster, even enlisting the help of some moonshine crazy woodsman. Let's get this over with quickly huh? They corner Eric in a church basement where he strips off his shirt and kills them, the end. You never quite look at someone the same after seeing a piece of work like this. Gary did most of the editing and such using two VCRs mind you, it makes 1970s kung fu flicks look like IMAX. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- If you're going to loop footage of a fire make the loop longer than six seconds.
- Flea markets stock ancient Greek tomes.
- The Greeks might have spoken Latin, but they wrote in English.
- At my ten year high school reunion there probably won't be any successful actors.
- When somebody is going to pick a human sacrifice at random don't be the guy wearing an "Oh no, Mr Bill!" shirt.
- Sneaking up on someone through dry leaves is easy.
- You can read a book without a flashlight in the woods at night.
- Evil Greek demons like to pray in Christian churches.
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- 3 mins - Good grief, everybody looks so young...
- 7 mins - Those sweeping sounds don't quite match the action.
- 10 mins - Watching as a fishing line pulls the book open...
- 14 mins - Is he laughing?
- 14 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A VIRGIN! (It's Gary, he's 16. Yes, I'm sure.)
- 23 mins - Eric is gripping the foam rock a little too tight.
- 30 mins - That is obviously a toy cap pistol.
- 37 mins - The worst fight scene ever portrayed for a high school Latin project.
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | maleorvs1.wav
| Narrator: "Just after the Golden Age of Man, Zeus, in his search for the next form man was to take, created a creature of such power that even the mighty gods were confounded in their efforts to control it."
| | maleorvs2.wav
| Dave: "Eric I told you those books work, they're real! It might not be a good idea to use words from them. We don't even know what they say, for all we know you could be reading Latin insults about our mothers."
| | maleorvs3.wav
| Dave: "It looks evil."
James: "Yeah, no kidding."
| | maleorvs4.wav
| James: "Face it David! Eric is dead and something evil has taken over his body. If you can't find out with ah, er, better idea then leave!"
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | maleorvs1.mpg
- 1.9m
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| Kevin melts as a result of Eric's unholy spell. Everyone else in the scene is suppressing laughter, that would be on account of the whole thing being darn goofy.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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| Maleorvs
Reply #1. Posted on October 08, 1999, 10:44:44 PM by dirge@dmv.com
Hey Andy,
What's up!? Hey man, I was just cruising the net when I came across this. 10 points out of 10 for putting the old "M" on the net. Just to let you know, about a year ago, Gary and I were in serious discussions of REMAKING this flick. Think about it: I've got a wall full of awards for videography, Gary is a Sys Adm for CD Now, and Josh is 3/4 the way through getting his doctorate degree. We have skillz now. Back in the day; we had 2 VCRs, a home camcorder, and an Esoniq...er...something-or-rather. Now we have a three chip DV camera, a Steady-cam, and a NL editing suite. Holy balls, dude. It might actually turn out looking like we intended! Until then, Gary and I would like to do a "Criterion" version of Maleorus for you were we (get really drunk and) give commentary on the film. Naturally, you'll have to publish it on the web.
Later,
D.R. Jarrell
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Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by James
I've known that Andy has had this movie up on his site for sometime now. When I need a double-scoop of embarrassment and humility, I just punch up this sight. Yes, I am the James that pretended to be an actor portraying a lemming in a no-budget horror film. I can only think of couple instances where worse acting was caught on film, but the drunk-drivers on COPS have an unfair chemical disadvantage. Anyway, I think my "acting" speaks for itself and I needn't say more about it here.
James "James" Sharp
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Reply #3. Posted on April 02, 2000, 07:58:47 PM by
I haven't watched this movie, but it looks like it would suck ass. Even though this is true, I some questions I want answered: How in the hell do you edit a movie on two VCRs, and how can I do it. I'm planning on filming a movie with a camcorder, and want to edit it in a quick way. I'd appreciate it.
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Reply #4. Posted on May 26, 2000, 12:19:33 PM by Thundercracker
Okay, I just watched this thing on Realplayer. Can I ask you something? Would you please kick Gary for me the next time you see him? Tell him I want 42 minutes of my life back. Ouch. Where the hell did they come up with this crap? Even for a high school project. Come on, now. Woof.
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Reply #5. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
I took a look at the film, and I kind of liked it. The music was actually pretty good, and it was pretty funny, especially the melting scene. If this is remade, this'll probably be the version everyone'll want to see, the original Maleorvs.
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Reply #6. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
it looks like they used a , no it couldn't be,...a Flashlight?!?!? for lighting. god this is extremely low budget. i forever shall be disturbed by this movie (shudders).
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Reply #7. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by A.J. Deal
OMG Andy..... I am so old now. Thanks for the journey down memory lane. The initial shock has worn off, now I just look back with humor at what we did. A bunch of teenagers with some VERY low budget stuff. Dry ice in Gary's room... (We put it in the tub and screwed his moms plumbing up bad) Josh and his music.... Todd "the art God".... D.R. and his hair... Spending hours in "the makeup chair".... Not bad really concidering we had NO CLUE about what we were doing..... Remember the "Poor Man's Porno" movies? These movies were nuts.... Showing only Legs and shoulders.... God I'm old now....
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Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Sam
Has anyone noticed that when the guy's face 'melts off', his hands are backwards?
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