|MEET THE FEEBLES
|Copyright 1989 Wingnut Films
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Wobert - Okay, so his name is really Robert, he can't say it right either. An idealistic hedgehog who just joined the Feebles.
- Lucille - One of the few other "nice" people and Wobert's true love. She's some sort of pooch.
- Heidi - The hippo, talented star of the Feebles Variety Hour show. Goes off the deep end and slaughters a horde of other puppets with a machinegun.
- Bletch - Walrus manager of the Feebles, he uses and abuses others - including Heidi. Massacred in a big way by his ex.
- Trevor - The dirty rat, literally. Sinister assistant to Bletch he's been dealing drugs to the other puppets and making pornos in the basement. Loses a quickdraw contest to Heidi and becomes ratloaf.
- Wynyard - Frog who came back from Vietnam hooked on pretty much everything, he even has flashbacks at times. Manages to impale himself during a knife throwing performance.
- Harry - Rabbit, a famous actor who believes he is dying of a STD for most of the film. (He likes bunny menage a trois'.) Finds out it's only "bunny pox" at last, walks out into the hall, and Heidi blows his head off.
- Sebastion - Gay director of the Feebles Chorus, a homosexual and extremely hyper fox. (As in the animal.)
- Barry - Bulldog enforcer for Bletch, a huge spider bites his head off.
- Arthur - The worm, one of the other "nice" guys.
- FW - The fly, a reporter for the local tabloid out to find dirt on the Feebles. Bletch flushes him down the toilet.
- Sidney, Sandy, and Baby - Sidney is the elephant, he trains these little furball things. Sandy (a chicken) is taking him to court for child support, he denies it's his. She has her head blown off during Heidi's rampage. (Of course the dead body runs around.)
- Samantha - Slut cat who has been having an affair with Bletch, loses all nine lives to the machinegun.
- Dennis - Panty sniffing anteater, he snorts Borax by accident and melts down.
- Cedrick and Louie - Warthog and mangy dog, both are drug suppliers who Bletch kills for trying to rip him off.
- Abi - Indian contortionist whose head gets stuck in his rectum, finally pops it free in time for a bed of nails to fall on his head.
|The Muppets never acted like this group of miscreants, not that we know of. Possibly the most disturbed puppet show ever filmed and definitely not for kids, of course the machinegun toting hippo on the cover should convey that idea.
"The Feebles Variety Hour" is going to air a special live performance, tensions are high, things could get ugly.
Into the harsh world of real life show biz stumbles Wobert, ready for his chance at live theater. Boy is this theater alive, Bletch has managed to hide his affair from Heidi until the cat starts taunting her with it. Heidi really gets upset, retreating to her dressing room and binge eating. Good old Bletch just goes on with his business, planning to replace his main hippo with the slutty Siamese after the television special.
Fortunately for the doe eyed hedgehog, not everyone is corrupt and jaded. (darn near, but not all). He soon falls in love with Lucy and wins her heart with a serenade. There's a bump in the romantic road when Trevor drugs her drink and takes advantage of her (Wobert walks in), but in the end they make up. The same can not be said for Bletch and Heidi, he dumps her in a most humiliating fashion, she then proceeds to go high and to the right. Grabbing an M60 machinegun and massacring everyone in sight high and to the right. Possibly one of the most amazing scenes in history where you have a hippo walking around and gunning other puppets into hamburger, oh she gets Bletch too.
First and foremost I'd like to say I never need to see ANY puppets having sex again. I thought anatomically correct Cabbage Patch Dolls were too much - that's nothing compared to seeing a cow engaging in S&M with a bug. In a similar fashion Sebastion's "Sodomy Song" and dance routine was totally warped, it's something else, you try watching a gay fox thrust it's pelvis at the camera. All of this accompanied by soft music and stage props which really frightened me. Did I mention the fly sitting in the toilet, on a um, floater? Oh yes, digging in with a spoon and chowing down while asking Harry if it's one of his (evidently had a carrot aftertaste).
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- You don't want to see a walrus having sex with a cat.
- Fish should never conduct casting calls with a walrus, especially if they suck. Shellfish should avoid them even if they don't suck.
- Female hippos are well endowed.
- Having someone vomit on you can wreck a golf swing.
- Cows are into S&M.
- Never let a heroine addicted frog throw knives at you.
- Last thing I needed to see was a fly eating shit with a spoon.
- Frogs fought in Vietnam.
- Your head can fit inside your rectum.
- Hippos and porch swings don't mix.
- Never snort bleach.
- 2 mins - What did that rat just say? Get the kids out of the room!
- 8 mins - Love at first sight, are dogs and hedgehogs compatible?
- 12 mins - Wobert, you cannot talk worth a darn.
- 17 mins - That puppet is urinating.
- 18 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST PSYCHEDELIC TRIBBLES!
- 26 mins - Little bunny three way hopping through the bedroom?
- 33 mins - Uggghhh...
- 57 mins - No way a cat is doing that to Bletch...
- 76 mins - Heidi, you are a hippopotamus. A stronger rope than that is in order.
- 84 mins - Hippo with a machinegun, RUN LIKE A BITCH!
- Cedrick: "It's a lovely course; I'm tempted to join the club myself."
Bletch: "No chance of that I'm afraid, Cedrick."
Cedrick: "You mean they discriminate against Scots?"
Bletch: "No, we just don't like assholes in the clubhouse."
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Wobert: "I'm Wobert..." |
Trevor: "You may be Wobert to your friends, but you're fly shit to me! Piss off!"
||Robbie begging Wobert for drugs, even vapor rub.
||Abi: "Please do not interrupt me, I am traveling on the astral plane."
||Wobert: "I thought you were nice." |
Lucille: "I am nice."
Wobert: "No your not, you're loose! And you dwink!"
Wobert: "You're nothing but a loose lush Lucille and I never want to see you again!"
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Heidi goes postal with the machinegun. This surprised me, who would have thought the old puppets would have had so much blood in them?
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by APOCTOOT
This movie is great! However, the only problem is that i never want to see a fly eating rabbit crap ever again...by the way, don't rabbits crap pellets, not floaters. Also, i don't ever want to see a walrus say, "Damn, i almost popped my cookies." Frogs should always get their heroine overdose, or even Vick's rub. The only other problem that i saw was the hippos have larger breasts than most Playboy models. The movie was great though. From the openning, it's death, drugs, and dirt. I'll never forget it. I just got the DVD for christmas and believe me...my parents regret it. Gonzo can stick his head up his ass for all this movie is concerned. Peter Jackson is the man! Note: if u like this movie, watch Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki (Gore, useless blood and language, and almost no plot :) )
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Rob
Think about the process this movie went through to get made. Somewhere on this planet, a group of wirters penned out a script that was similar to the Muppet Show on acid. Then, a producer actually had to say, "Yes. I think this is a good idea." Then they actually found someone who was willing to direct the damn thing. And what's really amazing is that the writer/director of this film, Peter Jackson, directed the "Lord of the Rings" movies as well. Overall, I thought that this was a very interesting endeavor. If collecting media-related oddities were not my hobby, I would have been frightened. Very good stuff.
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Digger
As a fan of toilet humor, this movie is the highest on my list for movies that fit in that cata-GORY. Lord, I'm a loser. Anyways, when I saw this movie, it was worn down by age and on the bottom rack of the shelf at the video store (God bless Video Update). In the mood for weird ass movies and twiztid humor, I rented "Feebles" and "Class of Nuke 'Em High" I and III along with "Shocking Asia".... after all the hours of f**ked up sh**, I couldn't fall asleep till four in the morning. "Feebles" was not only funny, but it was also a tragedy which I just totally got into. The "Sodomi" number and the cow and cochroach scene still haunt me to this day. And Wynyard is most definatly a frog, as Peter Jackson would have to film the movie at night to stay on schedule, and said that the title of that movie was "Frogs of War" (a play on "Dogs of War" if you are mentally incompitant).
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #20. Posted on April 19, 2003, 10:42:20 AM by Realize
Brillanter Film!!! Mein Kopf platzt vor Lachen, wenn ich den guck!!! Genau mein Niveau!!!
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Luke Bannon
This has become one of my favourtie movies! True, it is gross and in entirely poor taste, but this IS Peter Jackson's earl work we're talking about. Plus you feel pretty sorry for Heidi, and the film feature a very touching song, "The Garden Of Love". But the "Sodomy" Song is hilarious and worth seeing the film alone for!
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #22. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Orlando S.
I was born to watch this film. When my parents had me they said "this boy will watch a fly eat S### and he will be merry"....and I was. Thank you once again for opening my eyes to the world of bad movies... I am forever in your debt.
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by MessiahMan
Bizarre. The most twisted of the three big Jackson films, but not my MOST favorite (although all three of them are strokes of genius few mere mortals can even compete against.) This happens to be the least funny and more mean spirited of the three. It's direction, as is usual of Peter, is nothing short of amazing, but the puppets move a tad akwardly. However, that hardly tainted Jackson's genius, and gave it kind of its own charm.
|Meet the Feebles
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by TIm
The most vile, disgusting, and outrageous movie I've ever seen. No wonder I love it. It's more wrong than Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights, and believe me, it had some very wrong parts (reindeer licking s**t off a guy, and then grinning with it all over their teeth. Nasty, yet so funny). And come on, a hippo with a M60 mowing down puppets! You gotta love a movie with a hippo puppet shooting puppets to pieces. And I won't spoil how she kills Belech. God, am I a poor excuse for a human being. But, the beginning is a bit slow, as it's an introduction to Robert, and he's about as intresting as watching a fly take a s**t. Speaking of flys and s**t, Harry's bathroom scene is one of the best ones in this movie. The deaths were too funny. And need I mention the guy who sticks his head up his own ass? Sample diolage: "He's got his head stuck up his ass!" Sebastion:(very dryly) "Are you sure that's not part of the act?" But seeing puppet tities are just not my kinda thing. My only complaints are the slower parts and seeing Hedi strip. Let your kids watch it. They just might grow up to be just like me...
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