Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT


THE PINK ANGELS - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1971 Plateau Productions
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 7 September 2009

The Characters:  

  • Michael - He proves, conclusively, that being the crossdressing leader of a purple bike-riding motorcycle gang does not mean that you have to give up being macho.
  • Henry - Imagine Mary Lou Retton with forty extra pounds and a beard...
  • Arnold - He's big, he's hairy, he's gay, and he's got a bike. He's a Pink Angel.
  • Edward - Yet another member of the Pink Angels. The British Invasion was far more than just rock and roll. Just look at this guy: he is British, he talks like he is British, and he wears little British eyeglasses.
  • Ronnie - The token gay black man who insists on wearing a cream-colored maidenform bra.
  • David - He has to be the clumsiest gay biker that I have ever seen. No matter what he is doing, this guy will manage to stumble, trip, or fall over something in true queenly fashion.
  • A Straight Motorcycle Gang - They run afoul of the Pink Angels not once, but twice. Both times the tough bikers wake up to find themselves looking more like Raggedy Ann than Hells Angels. One of them is Dan Haggerty!
  • The Cops - These guys are loaded for bear. Arnold had better watch out.
  • The General - He is a buffoon, but you should resist the temptation to hate his character. Why? Because he is the only one who can end this movie.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The movie dumps us directly into a colossally confusing scene that involves a number of transvestites at a party being accosted by the police. We do not know it yet, but the "women" are the Pink Angels. Even more bewildering is the fact that I do not know where, or even how, this scene fits into the rest of the story. Most of the time when I am writing a review, I watch the movie twice. I watched this film thrice, and I'm still clueless about the busted crossdressers' bash. To make my confoundment complete, the movie then cuts to the General as he is carried by open convertible to the mansion (complete with large tree out front) that will serve as his headquarters throughout the film. Transvestites at a party, military officer in a car - what does it all mean?

What it means, my friends, is that I do not understand the 1960s nearly half as well as I thought I did. That is true of anyone who thinks that they understand the 1960s. We are all completely clueless; we just think we know something. Normally, I discourage this sort of mistaken expertism. Thinking that you know all about something, when you really do not, is a terribly dangerous state of mind. Those exposed to the unforeseen effects of 1950s atomic bomb tests would agree with with me. Ignorance is not bliss, and thinking that you know everything there is to know about something is not bliss. Bliss is knowing everything that there is to know about something - and, quite honestly, that never happens.

Welcome to the human condition: we are a bunch of monkeys with hand grenades. Ain't it cool?

Some of you are now looking at the movie's copyright date and saying, "But it was made in 1971." You are absolutely correct. However, the plot of "The Pink Angels" owes a lot more to the 1960s than it does the 1970s. The good thing is that thinking you know everything about the 1960s, when you actually understand little more than a smidgen, is relatively harmless. The only time that such a profoundly misplaced belief in an untruth could bite you on the ass is if you were a contestant on "Jeopardy."

Weird. Every time I start talking about transvestites the discussion ends with Alex Trebek. That is a queer sort of coincidence.

We see the Pink Angels gather together in a dusty section of desert, apparently making a solemn pact to undertake a quest of some sort. They then climb onto (and into, in the case of the sidecar riders) their purple motorcycles and sally forth. Stop. Yes, you. Stop. You are thinking that the purple motorcyles make perfect sense, that they sound kinda groovy. Well, you are wrong. The bikes are entirely purple, but the picture you have in your mind is of gleaming gloss-purple chariots befitting a drag queen. These are not those bikes. These bikes look like somebody pulled them out of a junkyard and then spray painted them with flat purple Rust-Oleum. Not semi-gloss, not satin, not even eggshell, I mean FLAT finish paint. It took me nearly ten minutes to realize that the bikes were indeed purple, and that is because the finish is so dull.

After picking up a young male hitchiker, the Pink Angels stop to scarf down some hot dogs from a roadside eatery. Yes, a bunch of gay men eating hot dogs, but it doesn't stop there. One of the bikers gets jealous of the attention being paid to the blonde hitchhiker, so a food fight breaks out. Suddenly aware that he is surrounded by forgotten weiners and condiment-spraying homosexuals, the hitchhiker does what any other red-blooded, straight American boy would do: he runs away.

In case you failed to notice, what I am trying to say is that "The Pink Angels" is a comedy. The whole movie is intended to be both a statement and funny. So, you should not be surprised when the gang is pulled over by some police officers who are carrying so many weapons that they would make a IDKFA'd Doom player feel outgunned. Nor should you be surprised that one of the cops discovers Ronnie's female intimates while conducting a search for contraband. What will surprise you is when this scene finally ends, because it seems to go on FOREVER.

Next up is a stop at a dusty bar. Michael and his compadres barely have time to sample the warm beer and cheap rotgut before a mob of working girls burst from the bar's backroom and jump on the bikers. I suppose that the prostitutes are excited about the unexpected group of customers appearing in the middle of the day. Unfortunately, the Pink Angels are not interested in the girls. Perhaps if the women were selling something besides their bodies, something like lipstick or support hosiery, then Michael and his friends might stick around to swap fashion tips. As the situation stands, the Pink Angels bail out of the bar and set off in search of the perfect picnic ground. They find it, and are in the middle of a fabulous candlelight picnic brunch when another group of bikers arrives.

The other group of bikers is highly suspicious of the Pink Angels. To allay their concerns, David drives back to the abandoned bar, loads all of the prostitues into the back of a box truck, and deposits proof positive that the Pink Angels are a band of broad-loving dudes at the feet of the straight bikers. You can imagine the straight bikers' glee as they (to wit) exclaim, "You really do have broads! You don't mind if we use them for a while? Dudes, you are all right!" The leader of the bikers picks an old wrinkled battle axe out of the hooker lineup. Do I need to describe what happens next? Of course I do. Do you know why? That is the only way I can share some of my pain with you. I watched the scene in question; you only have to read about it. I will even be nice and not explain the event in detail, because a casual reader who is just skimming this article might think I accidentally copied and pasted a paragraph from one of H.P. Lovecraft's stories. Suffice to say that disturbing visions of cyclopean flapping black granny panties, barely covering roiling mounds of white flesh, left me sick and weak. My sanity fled screaming into the night, and I begged my horrified wife for delicate brass implements with which to peel back my skull and extract the diseased brain within.

The really startling thing here, besides Shub-Niggurath wearing grandma panties, is that one of the bikers is Dan Haggerty. I remember Dan from the "Grizzly Adams" franchise, and he always seemed like Santa - Santa with a pet Grizzly bear, but still Santa. Let me just say that seeing Dan in this movie completely destroyed that childhood misconception. Dan is lean and mean, with ripped abdominals and veins sticking out on his biceps. He grabs the African American hooker; she barely had enough time to say, "Black is not only beautiful, it's good." before Dan gets all Kodiak on her a**.

Meanwhile, the General's secretary is taking notes as he dictates their strategy to stop...somebody. I am not sure who. It has to be the Communists, terrorists, activists, or one of those other "ists" that was always causing trouble during the 1960s.

The straight bikers wake up from their wine and prostitute inflicted slumber to discover that the Pink Angels left each of them a present. All of the men, including Dan Haggerty, are wearing lipstick, rouge, eyeliner, and sporting brightly colored ribbons in their hair. Now they are out for blood. Serenely ignorant of the danger, the Pink Angels spend some time shopping for clothes; then, all of the transvestites get dolled up in their best "middle-aged women out for a night on the town" dresses and head to the bar. That is where the straight bikers find them...and completely fail to recognize them incognito. Instead, the straight bikers think that the crossdressers are hot women! Geez, come on now. I know that this is a comedy, and it is funny to see Dan Haggerty riding on his hog with a transvestite on the back, but those are the ugliest crossdressers you, I, or anyone else has ever seen.

Once again, the straight bikers wake up to find themselves made up real pretty. Finally, the military gets involved. All of the bikers are captured. The General mistakes the Pink Angels for real women at first, but then Henry sets the record straight. The General's eyes get really wide, and the movie cuts to the officer standing on the front lawn of his headquarters, under the large tree. The camera starts moving away, revealing the slowly swinging corpses of the Pink Angels dangling from a large branch, lynched.

Remember, it's a comedy. Again I ask: How much do you think you know about the 1960s?

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Do not stick out your thumb unless you mean it.
  • Being completely coated with condiments is embarrassing.
  • Never ask a cop for an estimate.
  • Soup is inherently gay, but cream of celery is really gay.
  • Real men drink wine.
  • Never look a gift whore in the mouth.
  • Dan Haggerty likes his women like he likes his bears: brown.
  • You must have at least 20/400 vision to get a motorcycle license.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - That's one small step for a gay biker, one giant concrete drainage pipe for the State of California.
  • 7 mins - Did anyone else notice the 1968 Camaro? I did.
  • 8 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SIGN!
  • 23 mins - Don't you just hate indecision?
  • 26 mins - "Bartender! Whiskey for me, and beer for my queers."
  • 32 mins - That woman's hair has more body than Cass Elliott.
  • 41 mins - She has rubber ducky boobies! I want a hooker with rubber ducky boobies!
  • 44 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 65 mins - Honey, what you need is a paper bag for your face, because...yikes.
  • 79 mins - There needs to be a full investigation into how an obvious transvestite penetrated your final line of defense.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note pinkangels1.wav Cop: "Okay, I want everybody with their license in their hand. Move!"
Henry: "Now look, I really don't understand this. Arrest us or let us go! You cops think you run this world, but this is one all-American, red-blooded f****t you can't scare! So why don't you take your sirens, and your flashing red lights, and your guns, and...stick 'em."
Green Music Note pinkangels2.wav Biker: "Where's your broads?"
Michael: "Where are yours?"
Biker: "We get ours along the way."
Michael: "So do we. Hey Dave, go get the broads."
Green Music Note pinkangels3.wav Hooker: "Black is not only beautiful, it's good."
Green Music Note pinkangels4.wav General: "What? On motorcycles? How many?"
Soldier: "About twenty of them, sir. And they had girls with 'em!"
General: "Now don't worry, I'll handle this. Mrs. Ellen, they're here. They're here! Ellen: alert the south post and the east post. Let them get into the house before we apprehend them. I want to take them alive."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage
ImageImage


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clippinkangels1.mpg - 6.6m
That damn pig had better lay off Ronnie's bra! Pig! Piiiiiigggggg!

 Leave a commentEXTRASBuy the movie 

Share It!Buy the movieIMDB Logo
Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review
Digg This ReviewDigg This Review
Buy it from Amazon.com (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited (United States)

Buy it from Amazon.ca (Canada)

Internet Movie Database


ALSO SEE:



Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #1. Posted on September 07, 2009, 10:51:26 PM by SkullBat308
 Buggedout wow sounds.....interesting BounceGiggle I would like to see this, it sounds FAR OUT MAN!
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #2. Posted on September 08, 2009, 04:30:59 PM by BoyScoutKevin
Hey! What can I say: "Tightie whities!"
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #3. Posted on September 08, 2009, 06:43:26 PM by randy109
Jesus. Borntreger I never thought you'd stoop this low.

Please do this:

1. Keep it in the closet.
2. Triple-lock the doors.
3. Melt keys w/oxy-acetelyne torch.

Oh wait, I forgot: "Don't ask, don't tell".
Guess you're up for a promotion now!

This should be amended to: "Don't ask don't tell DON'T POST"
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #4. Posted on September 09, 2009, 04:22:26 PM by Andrew
Jesus. Borntreger I never thought you'd stoop this low.

Either you are a fellow Marine, whose email I am not familiar with, who is giving me a friendly dig, or else something about my review actually upset you.  I suspect the prior.

If anything, I think that this review was quite neutral on the film's center subject of crossdressers.  Compare it to "Leeches," and here I felt that I was much more focused on the stereotypes, attempt at satire, and other elements of the film.

I mean, how can you ignore a film with a young, mean looking Dan Haggerty riding a motorcycle with a transvestite on the back?
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #5. Posted on September 09, 2009, 07:25:15 PM by Fraggoth
Hoo-boy the stuff you go through... I actually had the dubious pleasure (if I were a masochist and really into the whip,) of seeing this about 2-3 months ago. It was in-and-amongst some smallish DVD compilation called... Drive-In Classics or somesuch... oh, and there it is at the top of the page! Silly me. I'd had this loaned to my by a coworker who shares a similar taste in movies. Truly, this one was the biggest doozy of the bunch, and some of them were just awful, real Psychic Numbing time. I never realized that the bikes were purple... I was too busy trying to forget the... >gag< Old Lady Sex Scene >retch<... Thank you for all your readers and devotees for not going into great detail... That scene is just so damn sobering that even if you're completely p**sed (drunk), high on a cocktail of acid, heroine, and paint thinner you will be INSTANTLY brought back to reality by that scene. Not that I've personally done this; all I know is I wanted a straight morphine drip to forget the pain. Catatonic for days, I swear... don't know how you're coherent. EXCELLENT review though. Thanks!
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #6. Posted on September 10, 2009, 08:10:38 AM by Sardu
"The Cops - These guys are loaded for bear."

I see what you did there.   TeddyR
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #7. Posted on September 10, 2009, 07:47:57 PM by Andrew
Hoo-boy the stuff you go through... I actually had the dubious pleasure (if I were a masochist and really into the whip,) of seeing this about 2-3 months ago. It was in-and-amongst some smallish DVD compilation called... Drive-In Classics or somesuch... oh, and there it is at the top of the page! Silly me. I'd had this loaned to my by a coworker who shares a similar taste in movies. Truly, this one was the biggest doozy of the bunch, and some of them were just awful, real Psychic Numbing time. I never realized that the bikes were purple... I was too busy trying to forget the... >gag< Old Lady Sex Scene >retch<... Thank you for all your readers and devotees for not going into great detail... That scene is just so damn sobering that even if you're completely p**sed (drunk), high on a cocktail of acid, heroine, and paint thinner you will be INSTANTLY brought back to reality by that scene. Not that I've personally done this; all I know is I wanted a straight morphine drip to forget the pain. Catatonic for days, I swear... don't know how you're coherent. EXCELLENT review though. Thanks!

I was able to stay pretty sane through "The Pink Angels," because it was such an oddity.  The humor could be downright painful, and the old lady makeout scene was not a favorite moment at all.  It was the basic premise, and the dialog that kept me entertained.  Also, you have to agree that the ending came out of nowhere.  A mass lynching, in a comedy?

"The Pink Angels" is probably the weirdest movie in that set.  "Van Nuys Blvd" stuck out on account of the catchy theme song, and "The Babysitter" was memorable for being creepy, and having a wholly unexpected ending (the wife's reaction).

"The Cops - These guys are loaded for bear."

I see what you did there.   TeddyR

Thank you, I was quite proud of that wordplay.
Re: The Pink Angels
Reply #8. Posted on September 22, 2009, 04:45:37 PM by Bud
Many road trip movies of this era had endings where the main character or one or more of the characters dies.  I think it started with Easy Rider.  As a kid (early 70's) I saw a lot of movies in the theater where they always died at the end.  It usually happened in movies about people trying to be free in America but came up against the oppression of that freedom by mainstream America.  You can be free in America, it's what makes us great but don't be weird about it and don't push it.  Usually mainstream America won and the counter culture character was killed by them.   Symbolism I suppose.

Best line of the movie:
Oh my god!  That brunette looks just like Bernice!
Pages: [1] 2
 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.