|PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING
|Copyright 1981 Chesham Investments
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Steve Kimbrough - Lance Henriksen! Local officer of the law, he seems to be a cross between the Coast Guard and a Sheriff.
- Annie Kimbrough - Marine Biologist and Steve's (Estranged? They certainly aren't doing well.) wife who works for the local resort.
- Chris - Annie and Steve's son who wants them to work things out, pretty good kid overall.
- Gabby - Jovial island fisherman, he's the type of guy that can toss a stick of dynamite (fuse burning) to you and get a laugh. Tries to stand up to the fish, lies down, gets eaten.
- Tyler - Government scientist who sleeps with Annie. Fish food.
- Raoul - Jerk manager of the hotel.
- Allison - Well developed young girl who gives Chris a taste of what the 80's are going to be like.
- Mrs. Wilson - Horny older woman. Ugh.
- A modest number of resort guests - Fish food.
- The Piranha - Those pesky guppies are back and this time they've been crossed with flying fish. Oh yes, you guessed it: prepare for a horde of fish suspended on wires...
|It is a crying shame that this movie is at the opposite end of James Cameron's directing career from Leonardo DieCrappo, I would pay good money to watch him run screaming from a flock of fish suspended on wires. Oops, I have upset the herd of Leonardo worshipping females - shut up, sit down. I loved the last thirty minutes of "Titanic." That would be the section where he is slowly dying of hypothermia.
On this quiet tropical island, we will just call it Jamaica, horror is about to unfold. A navy ship containing experimental Piranha eggs sank several months ago and now a new breed of terror will menace the beaches. Flying carnivorous fish, baby! (Hehehe!) Prepare to watch as meaningless people have their necks ripped out; every time the piranha attack it is right in the jugular. These things are not the most graceful flyers, mind you. Somebody needed to grab a bat or tennis racket and do some serious fish thumping.
Not much else to say about this mess. The plot is a serious muddle. I was just overjoyed with Gabby as a character. Point of fact: here is a imposing, but cheerful, Jamaican dynamite fisherman who builds a time bomb with his quartz desk clock and then gets killed after he attacks the Piranha with a torch. Whew...
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Never have sex while scuba diving, it upsets the fish.
- Ugly women can drown in three feet of water.
- Piranha instinctively go for their victim's throat.
- Jamaican nurses are tough hombres.
- Half eaten bodies get women in the mood.
- Making out under a waterfall isn't as fun as it sounds.
- Fish have rhythm!
- Piranha see everything through a red filter.
- Two humans wearing awkward scuba gear can out swim a school of super piranha through the narrow hallways of a sunken ship.
- Every quartz watch in the world is synchronized.
- 1 min - These intro special effects do not bode well.
- 4 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 15 mins - Ugly woman meets nerd, they fall in love, and I'm not going any further than that...
- 26 mins - Where did this floating head go to acting school? Clear camera!
- 32 mins - Is that fish really flying?
- 38 mins - You have to be kidding me, that piranha has been hiding inside the corpse's body cavity all this time?
- 51 mins - Gabby is making a waterproof time bomb out of dynamite and a cheap quartz clock?
- 67 mins - I am officially tired of it being too dark, when did James Cameron start having enough pull to afford lights?
- 75 mins - He is going to ditch the helicopter? As in drop it into the ocean?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Steve: "I told you the next time I caught you and your son dynamite fishing I'd throw your sorry ass in jail, and I meant it!"
||Annie's Father: "And by the way, you may call me Captain."
||Raoul: "You're sticking a red hot poker up my ass by canceling now."
||Tyler explains how the Piranha were created.
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Gabby heroically takes on the Piranha, but unfortunately underestimates the power of fish. He was my favorite character too, I almost cried.
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #1. Posted on August 23, 1999, 01:21:59 AM by
The only saving thing about the whole movie is that the future star of millenium is in the movie .
Reply #2. Posted on September 01, 1999, 01:40:33 PM by Warren H.
Uuhhhh . . . pain. The first Piranha wasn't great, but this is worse. Did little Jimmy Cameron actually direct this movie? Whoa, if so, he went from making totally crappy movies to making kick-ass movies, to making crappy movies with awesome special effects.
Reply #3. Posted on February 07, 2000, 11:01:23 AM by Paul Westbrook
Any movie that depicts something completely unrealistic, such as flying piranha has to be quite a unique film. I have not seen this one yet, but since I enjoyed the first film, my curiosity is getting to me. Nice video jacket cover.
Reply #4. Posted on February 07, 2000, 11:03:01 AM by Paul Westbrook (again)
So these creatures are the real reason the Titanic sank.
Reply #5. Posted on February 09, 2000, 10:25:15 PM by Sean Finnigan
James Cameron and H.A. Milton both worked on this project and the end result was one bad film. What was James Cameron thinking when he made this film?
The first Piranha was a spoof of Jaws but this film was a direct horror film. The nurse scene was funny but the rest of the film is retarded and unfunny. Is it me or is everyone in this film ugly where did James Cameron get these actors.
Reply #6. Posted on February 22, 2000, 09:05:00 PM by Stefan Robak
I'm not sure about veryone else but I'm from Canada were we get Space (the Canadian Sci-Fi channel) where we aren't so uptight with censorship (Space even showed Flesh Gordon a couple of times! Late at night of course) Anyway I remember the commercial they did for when they were showing this. They start playing the upbeat dancing music from Titanic and show under water shots and it says: Space Presents James Cameron's Romantic tale of Tragedy at sea..... Piranah 2: the Spawning. SEE WHY JAMES CAMERON WAS FIRED. Then it shows a dork from the movie saying : "sounds great" It still wasn't funny as the Godzillathon commercial they had that has to be scene to be believed. BTW Space is from the creators of Much Music and Bravo (I don't know if you get Bravo in America).
Reply #7. Posted on March 27, 2000, 07:44:01 AM by Squishy
Well, James Cameron had to start somewhere. It's not like he was given 200 million bucks and full creative control--and with a concept this preposterous, how much effort would ANYONE put into it?...He's not proud of it, but he also worked on Roger Corman's "Galaxy of Terror," famous for its scene of a woman being raped to death by a giant maggot. Like I said, they gotta start somewhere...
Reply #8. Posted on April 06, 2000, 10:41:37 AM by Chris K.
James Cameron directed this mess! What an idiot! PIRANAH was good but PIRANAH 2:THE SPAWNING. Basicaly, do not see this bad film for it's numerous reasons(bad acting, dumb special effects, boom mikes are seen in windows, crappy plot,etc.). Of course I am not a fan of Cameron's work (When he recieved the Oscar for TITANIC, he asked the audience to bow their heads in prayer for the people who died on the ship! What an ASS).
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