|PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING
|Copyright 1981 Chesham Investments
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Steve Kimbrough - Lance Henriksen! Local officer of the law, he seems to be a cross between the Coast Guard and a Sheriff.
- Annie Kimbrough - Marine Biologist and Steve's (Estranged? They certainly aren't doing well.) wife who works for the local resort.
- Chris - Annie and Steve's son who wants them to work things out, pretty good kid overall.
- Gabby - Jovial island fisherman, he's the type of guy that can toss a stick of dynamite (fuse burning) to you and get a laugh. Tries to stand up to the fish, lies down, gets eaten.
- Tyler - Government scientist who sleeps with Annie. Fish food.
- Raoul - Jerk manager of the hotel.
- Allison - Well developed young girl who gives Chris a taste of what the 80's are going to be like.
- Mrs. Wilson - Horny older woman. Ugh.
- A modest number of resort guests - Fish food.
- The Piranha - Those pesky guppies are back and this time they've been crossed with flying fish. Oh yes, you guessed it: prepare for a horde of fish suspended on wires...
|It is a crying shame that this movie is at the opposite end of James Cameron's directing career from Leonardo DieCrappo, I would pay good money to watch him run screaming from a flock of fish suspended on wires. Oops, I have upset the herd of Leonardo worshipping females - shut up, sit down. I loved the last thirty minutes of "Titanic." That would be the section where he is slowly dying of hypothermia.
On this quiet tropical island, we will just call it Jamaica, horror is about to unfold. A navy ship containing experimental Piranha eggs sank several months ago and now a new breed of terror will menace the beaches. Flying carnivorous fish, baby! (Hehehe!) Prepare to watch as meaningless people have their necks ripped out; every time the piranha attack it is right in the jugular. These things are not the most graceful flyers, mind you. Somebody needed to grab a bat or tennis racket and do some serious fish thumping.
Not much else to say about this mess. The plot is a serious muddle. I was just overjoyed with Gabby as a character. Point of fact: here is a imposing, but cheerful, Jamaican dynamite fisherman who builds a time bomb with his quartz desk clock and then gets killed after he attacks the Piranha with a torch. Whew...
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Never have sex while scuba diving, it upsets the fish.
- Ugly women can drown in three feet of water.
- Piranha instinctively go for their victim's throat.
- Jamaican nurses are tough hombres.
- Half eaten bodies get women in the mood.
- Making out under a waterfall isn't as fun as it sounds.
- Fish have rhythm!
- Piranha see everything through a red filter.
- Two humans wearing awkward scuba gear can out swim a school of super piranha through the narrow hallways of a sunken ship.
- Every quartz watch in the world is synchronized.
- 1 min - These intro special effects do not bode well.
- 4 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 15 mins - Ugly woman meets nerd, they fall in love, and I'm not going any further than that...
- 26 mins - Where did this floating head go to acting school? Clear camera!
- 32 mins - Is that fish really flying?
- 38 mins - You have to be kidding me, that piranha has been hiding inside the corpse's body cavity all this time?
- 51 mins - Gabby is making a waterproof time bomb out of dynamite and a cheap quartz clock?
- 67 mins - I am officially tired of it being too dark, when did James Cameron start having enough pull to afford lights?
- 75 mins - He is going to ditch the helicopter? As in drop it into the ocean?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Steve: "I told you the next time I caught you and your son dynamite fishing I'd throw your sorry ass in jail, and I meant it!"
||Annie's Father: "And by the way, you may call me Captain."
||Raoul: "You're sticking a red hot poker up my ass by canceling now."
||Tyler explains how the Piranha were created.
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Gabby heroically takes on the Piranha, but unfortunately underestimates the power of fish. He was my favorite character too, I almost cried.
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Griff
This should have a skull rating. I've never seen the film but from watching the clip on this site, you'll see what I mean.
Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by kjw
To me this isn't as bad as most people make it out to be.At least there is plenty of action throughout and plenty of killings.And to see a fish fly is pretty comical in my book.Not great but not the worst I've ever seen either.
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Max Brandt
Piranah II, yes, I know this film is a bit old and so many, many comments have been made about how horrible it is but I have always wondered one thing, who was that amazingly sexy and alluring dark haired beauty in the white bikini that got it from the nasty fish half way through the film? Andrew Borntreger say she and her friend were ugly, what? They were pretty good looking! Especially the dark haired gal, she is very hot and I am STILL p**sed to this day she got "killed off" in that horribly bad movie. What a total babe and Cameron just heartlessly offs her and her cute pal! To hell with you, Mr. Cameron! But seriously, who was that foxy woman in the whit bikini and what ever became of her? Any one out there know her real name and is there any good pics of her around? She has one very BIG fan with me!
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Rob
Ahhh anything to do with water and people getting eaten is an attention drawer to me, that's my fortay. I first saw this in the UK with another monster fim called Devouring Waves. Yeah it sucked compared to the original but it has some bright spots: the fish are utterly silly. On land they're flapping puppet props. In the sea they're sped up models going around in a circle? So why are they so friggin' scary? The viciousness of how the little guys attacked their victims, though campy, was kinda unsettling. The music store at times is very effective. One scene I get a kick out of which was edited from the original release is the nightwatchman "Aaron" patroling the shore one minute, and then the next scene he apparently wanted to to take a swim because he's staggering out of the water zombie-like and all chewed up. There is a very almost Fulci-like horror feeling when his body is dragged backwards through the shallows into the killer pack of killer flyin grunion piranhas
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Sora the B-Movie Alchemist
Me and my mom got 'Piranha' off netflix. And as soon as told her "the fish can fly" she went on netflix and got it. You don't know how happy I was when I found out that the piranhas chirped in the sequel.
Sometimes I wonder how James Cameron sleeps at night. This is probably how the idea process went with Titanic...
Movie dude 1: We someone qualified for Titanic...
Movie dude 2: What about the dude who made Piranha 2?
Movie dude 1: YOU'RE A FRIGGIN GENIUS
And did anyone notice that the actors were HOLDING the fish to their throats?
Sora the B-Movie Alchemist's Ratings
Violence: ** 1/2
Monster: *** Flying piranha, I mean c'mon
Comments: More titties than you can shake a stick at!
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by IT
I'm trying to find this movie on DVD.I remember seeing this movie when I was younger bad as it was i enjoyed it.The scene where the two b***hes take advantage of the retard was not cool.The fishes eatting the two ladies that was cool.
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