|
|
|
| Of all the insane b-movies, our title at hand takes the cake my friends. Ed Wood did some darn funny things, but he never tried this one on us. You did read the description for Ro-Man right, well it's even more amusing when you see it. Anyway, this thing has almost wiped out the human race, it's 1953 and we were watching the Russians, never saw the space gorilla sneak attack coming. Besides, it shoots Calciator Death Rays, which appear to be the film negatives, but they're really deadly cosmic rays. So the last dregs of humanity are eight people on Earth and the garrison aboard an orbiting space platform. (Which looks like a reject "Rocky Jones" special effect, now there's horror.) Everything has settled down into a routine, with Ro-Man looking for the humans and them hiding out behind their forcefield. Johnny decides to go for a walk stumbles across the monster's cave, which is fairly conspicuous since the radio is constantly spewing bubbles. (I have no idea either.) Immune to the effects of a cosmic ray which destroys rockets and space platforms courtesy of the Professor's miracle serum, our little commune is still doomed if Ro-Man finds them. Alice uses this excuse of impending doom to fall for Roy, lucky thing considering he's the only male alive not related to her. (West Virginians probably didn't get that one.) The honeymoon is short lived, as the gorilla starts finding people and strangling them, but he can't kill Alice. He's in love with her! The Great One doesn't understand love so he destroys Ro-Man and our world, almost the end. What almost? Well Johnny wakes up, it seems the little boy hit his head and dreamed the whole thing... ...now the end. Lovers of classic schlock will adore "Robot Monster" and it's honestly a blast to watch. |
|
| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
|
 | Caves are perfect for social gatherings.
| | Lightning causes some really weird stuff to happen.
| | Space gorillas love bubbles.
| | Rather than calling attention to your location, a forcefield made of copper wires arcing electricity makes you invisible to scanners.
| | Lumpy women should not wear tight, backless halter tops.
| | Antibodies will protect you from cosmic rays.
| | Don't stick your tongue out at Ro-Man.
| | Whenever danger threatens women should be picked up and carried away from it.
| | Kissing a girl's forehead will drive her wild.
|
|
|
|
| 1 min - We don't get to see Ro-Man's picture in the beginning to increase our terror at the first sight of him!
| | 6 mins - The food was poisoned! (Just kidding.)
| | 7 mins - What in the hell is going on? Why is there a Caiman with a sail on it's back in the middle of a desert? Now stop motion effects! Back to the lizards! Ahhhhhh!
| | 8 mins - Johnny was wearing pants, now he's suddenly wearing shorts.
| | 20 mins - Amen sister!
| | 24 mins - That's a V2 rocket, not exactly the sort of thing people fly in.
| | 30 mins - Goodness, Ro-Man is a horndog!
| | 33 mins - Guy in a gorilla suit walking up a hill...
| | 36 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A BUSH!
| | 40 mins - You know, if you take the thumb to forefinger circle as meaning anus, this scene is downright raunchy...
| | 54 mins - Wow, didn't expect that!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny: "I was in the cave painting these pictures the way we saw them on the viewer screen."
Alice: "Why were you doing that Johnny?"
Johnny: "So in case he did wipe out the human race there'd be some record of how it happened."
The Professor: "Go on, go on!"
Ro-Man: "I need guidance, Great One. For the first time in my life I am not sure."
Great One: "You sound like a human, not a ro-man. Can you not verify a fact?"
|
|
| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
|
| File | Dialog |  | robotmonster1.wav
| Carla: "Am I dead?"
Johnny: "You're disintegrated!"
Carla: "Good, does that mean we can play house now? You promised..."
| | robotmonster2.wav
| Roy: "I'm bossy? You're so bossy you should be milked before you come home at night."
| | robotmonster3.wav
| Ro-Man: "Calculate your chances! Negative, negative, negative...is there a choice between a painless surrender death, and the horror of resistance death? Show yourselves!"
| | robotmonster4.wav
| Johnny: "I think you're just a big bully, picking on people smaller than you are!"
Ro-Man: "Now I will kill you."
|
|
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
|
|
|
|
| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
|
|
| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
|
|
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #1. Posted on November 08, 1999, 01:18:48 PM by paul westbrook
Truly a formidable rival for Plan 9 from Outer Space as far as being the worst film ever made.
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #2. Posted on February 24, 2000, 06:05:29 AM by Art
I absolutely adore this horrible movie! The first time I saw it I sat with mouth agape--what the heck does it all mean!!?? Dream? Premonition? Flashback? Just great 1950s at its worst.
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #3. Posted on March 07, 2000, 10:39:02 AM by James B.
This is, without peer, the greatest movie EVER! I don't watch any other movies....what's the point?
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #4. Posted on May 24, 2000, 10:06:56 PM by barry
Awesome multi-train disaster to. the nth degree! Think of the carefully crafted teamwork that went into this (Elmer Bernstein soundtrack?). Up there with Ed Wood classics, Mesa of Lost Women, and The Creeping Terror.Twelve stars!
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #5. Posted on June 12, 2000, 10:22:06 AM by Yodie
Cool movie, (well, you know what I mean)>
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #6. Posted on March 14, 2001, 09:01:46 AM by Mdb
Don´t cry little Johny,...one of the best scene´s in the movie,I´ve seen alot of bad movies but this one is really great.
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #7. Posted on October 10, 2000, 03:09:02 PM by peter johnson
You have the soundclip of my/our favorite line from the film: You're so bossy, you ought to be milked! This said by a young man to a young woman with one of those '50's pointy bras. We ran this on the big screen a few years back at the Boulder Theatre, along with PLan 9. HUge, enthusiastic audience response!! Just a wonderful waste of celluloid--enjoyable on every level. Even Salvador Dali didn't give us an image of that roborilla sitting happily amidst his Lawrence Welk champagne BUBBLE MACHINE!!!
|
| Robot Monster
Reply #8. Posted on November 25, 2006, 05:09:03 PM by crazyjerseygirl
My best friend and i use this film to test our boyfriends.
if they are too stupid to find these 3 things wrong with it out they go! (strangly nobody has yet mentioned these things on any sight that ive seen, perhaps out of respect???
1.) Johnny: can i have just a little bit of water mom???
Mom: sure honey
(large splash akin to the sound of a hippo diving into a
swimming pool from 30 feet.)
2.) THE HAND THE HAND...HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE SPACE
PLATFORM HAND!!!!!!
3.) the pornographic scene where alice is being tied up by ro-man and he pulls her shirt down. rather then re-film this section the director opted to instead place a big black censored bar across her chest...smooth.
| | Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5 | |
There is something worse than golf pants. 