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ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1987 Thunder Films Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • John Triton - John Mikl Thor! It's Thor! Quiet and unassuming lead singer of the band until he reveals his true nature.
  • Randy - John's woman. Demon fodder.
  • Stig and Lou Anne - He has an amazingly horrid Australian accent, she's the bitch of the group. Both are taken by demons.
  • Max and Dee Dee - Two goofballs who have been waiting for just the right chance to jump in the sack. She's pretty attractive, from the neck down. A demonic little kid takes care of them.
  • Roger and Mary - Recent newlyweds and oh boy are they annoying about it. Mr. and Mrs. Goody Two Shoes get eaten by a demon in the kitchen.
  • Phil - Nerdy manager of the band, a fake version of Lou Anne gets naked then chews his shoulder off. For some odd reason he's not in the credits?
  • Four Groupies - Girls who show up to, um, socialize with the band. Presumed demon kibble.
  • Satan - Lord of Hell who also owns this small farmhouse outside Toronto. Defeated by Thor!

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Any movie produced by the lead singer of a regional rock band is going to be interesting my friends. Particularly so when that guy's name is Thor! (Hehehe!) We start off the story with a seemingly unrelated short where a housewife is eaten by her stove. After that, treat of treats, one is allowed to watch a van driving down the road for about five minutes, but finally the vehicle arrives at the very same farmhouse where mom was cooked and out steps Thor! (Yes, every time you see that name there will be an exclamation mark on the end.) David Lee Roth's more girthful twin has transported his band to this secluded farmhouse to kindle their artistic spirit. That fails miserably, not entirely due to their deaths either. Evil forces in the house consume Triton's band one by one, sometimes two at a time, but you know what I mean. In case you're wondering, Dee Dee is the only female who actually plays in the band, the other girls are just along for the ride. I'm a little confused about Dee Dee, on one hand - she has a nice body, on the other - her face scares me. (Plus she kisses like Liv Tyler.) Where were we? Oh yes, everyone except Thor! has been eaten. Randy, who is actually Satan at this point, wanders up to him and transforms into true form. Just in case the previous seventy minutes of silliness wasn't enough, Thor! jumps up and transforms into his true form! He's an archangel! Who wears lots of hairspray and a studded thong! And all those "people" Satan just finished killing? They were "shadows" created by the angel to lure him out! "Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare" tends to give me the giggles and after a group of us watched it someone even mentioning "Thor!" would turn us all into laughing idiots.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Housewives lead pretty dangerous lives in Canada, one out of one will be killed in an unfortunate accident involving the oven.
  • To emphasize a point women grab their breasts. (It's like underlining words in a sentence.)
  • Woman love to do the dishes.
  • Newlyweds are damn annoying.
  • Australian guys never take their sunglasses off, even for sex.
  • Never keep leftovers too long in a haunted house.
  • Thor! naked is a very bad thing.
  • If you create "shadows" of people to lure Satan out and have sex with one it must not be masturbation. (Anyone? Catholics?)
  • John Mikl Thor is an archangel.
  • Divinities wear lots of eyeliner.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - Let's do something, I for one am tired of watching this van drive down the road.
  • 13 mins - Can anyone in this movie act? I know
  • 24 mins - That's a sock puppet, I cannot believe they used a sock puppet.
  • 27 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 36 mins - When Mogwai attack.
  • 45 mins - This demon is not all bad; he turned off the music.
  • 51 mins - I thought he said the lake was private? It's about a hundred yards from the house and in the middle of a field!
  • 52 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 57 mins - Not Thor! naked, arggghhh...ugh, moles! Help!
  • 58 mins - The mechanics of these two having sex like this (you'd have to see the scene) is mind boggling.
  • 65 mins - Man, would I ever like to have a nice, refreshing, delicious Coca-Cola right now.
  • 74 mins - Somebody is throwing rubber starfish things at Thor!, and he is catching them and then acting like they are stuck to his chest!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note rrnightmare1.wav John: "So, how do you like your rooms?"
Mary: "It's just wonderful John, really great!"
Roger: "There's no place we'd rather spend our honeymoon than with the band."
Green Music Note rrnightmare2.wav Mary: "I'm sure Phil's not dead or anything, or he would have called."
Green Music Note rrnightmare3.wav Possessed Randy: "Enough John."
John: "What are you talking about Randy?"
Possessed Randy: "We have to stop pretending, the guys won't be coming back, they're dead."
Green Music Note rrnightmare4.wav John: "I'll see you again, Old Scratch!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Cliprrnightmare1.mpg - 2.6m
I want you to understand the sort of film you are going to rent if this review piqued your interest. Watch in amazement as evil starfish attack Thor!, not that someone is tossing these things at him from off camera.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 8
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Jesse D'Angelo
Hello everybody! This is great! I was in this movie. I played the WolfBoy. I'm 22 years old now, and like all of you, there's nothing I enjoy more than railing on this movie. Since then, we have all moved on to Hollywood, and are now making BIG bad movies , rather than flicks like "Nightmare". I was amazed that there are people out there who were actually into thi s s**t, and it makes me wonder if I actually have any fans.  Let me know. I'm longer the wolf-boy, baby, now I'm the Wolf-Man. Write me an e-mail if you want, at JDWOLFE78@aol.com, and we can all talk about this cinematic masterpiece which we call "Rock n' Roll Nightmare".  I can give you all the lowdowns on what everybody's doing now, except of course for Director John Fasano, who may be dead. Nobody really knows  his true whereabouts, .. nobody even really knows if he truly exists... If you want more info, write me... later --
Jesse DAngelo -- WolfMan
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Jim Cirile
Yep, I played Stig... 14 years ago... CRIKEY!  Just to set the record straight, the gag was supposed to be that Stig was not really Australian, that he simply put on the accent to get laid. That's why after he gets demonized the accent disappears. Unfortunately, the gag didn't quite make it to the film...

We all had a great time making this thing. We spent two months in John Fasano's basement sculpting and molding those puppets with a budget of one dollar. Literally. Then 2 weeks in a barn in Canada. It was damn cold and we had no money, but we had chicks willing to drop their tops.

For more info, feel free to email ol' Stiggy directly at jimcirile@aol.com. Roight!

--Stiggy
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Cynthia Cirile
I am so delighted to see that Rock 'n Roll Nightmare--my first film, has become such a legend it its own time! The producers are in fact so overwhelmed by the response of the films fans that we are now preparing a "rockumentary" about Rock'n Roll Nightmare, to be called: The Edge of Hell: The Making of Rock' Roll Nightmare. You'll not only see deleted scenes (me being dragged by a demon into the refrigerator!) but also hear interviews with Stig, Thor, the Wolf Boy, and all your favorite characters--and learn how the film changed their lives, and what they're doing now. You'd be surprised! Anyway, I'll keep you posted about the film's release--a must seen for Rock "n Roll Nightmare fans--as we continue into production. If only we could find the film's director!
Anyone with messages for the cast members or queries about the film in general--suggestions of what you'd like to see in the Rockumentary--can be E-mailed to me. Rock 'On!
Cynthia Cirile
Producer, Rock 'N Roll Nightmare
(and also the mother who becomes the oven monster.)

P.S Yes, you could easily duplicate the films effects with a box of bisquick. Most of them were made with Bisquick and jello is my very own basement!
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Ben
Oh, I forgot to mention. I kill someone in the movie by grabbing her by the hips and pulling her off camera.

It took longer to put the make-up off than it did to shoot half the movie. I shoulda put it on myself.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Chip
Why on earth our local video store got rid of "Girly" and "Lair of the White Worm" and not "Rock n' Roll Nightmare" I will never know. Perhaps they have something against the English.
I watched this one at a horror movie night (which my friends and I have every friday) and it was so terrible I had to see it again. I was going to the bathroom during the infamous Thor's butt scene the first time, but during the second go-around, was subjected to this torture. Did anyone else think that with the mascara after Thor's hair got wet he looked like another woman kissing that redhead. Yup, pretty bad. And what about that girl who played the keyboard...
So why would anyone think this was a good idea to make this movie? I don't know, but then, I really don't like heavy metal. Unless you enjoy the music, this film had nothing that could be considered good about it. The idea that a studie was built in a barn with concert lights and all and the band dressed in concert gear for the rehersal was the most rediculous part.
"Have no fear. Wonder-manager is here!"
"Wonder-manager?"
"Yeah, It's a wonder he's our manager"
(insert idiotic laughter here)
I had almost as much fun writing this as I did watching the film. P.S. All you fellows and ladies who claim to have been involed with making this movie, I don't belive it. Everyone involved with "Rock n' Roll Nightmare" is now making billions of dollers and having intimate relationships with beautiful signifigant others while acting in hollywood blockbusters. They just don't have time for fans anymore.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #22. Posted on October 07, 2001, 11:30:29 AM by Rutt13
Wow!!! this is the greatest movie ever!!!!  I first glimpsed bits of it when I was young as MY DAD watched it on rented video!  For years I remembered the fantastic ending, then as a great fan of bad movies I sought it out years later, and even found a copy for $5...Meanwhile I turned the cinematic gem onto my good friend Swykkpac (See his comment above) and this brought on our unholy tradition of seeking out bad movies wherever they may hide....Even downloaded the soundtrack off Napster, and burned me a CD...Holy cow.....I too live to rock!
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Donald Dorfmeyer
This is the movie that Rex Reed calls "the most horrorifying film I have ever seen"
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Mr. Benalto
Man I love this movie with all my heart. My favourite song is "Energy", if you listen to the words close enough you can tell it's about milk. One thing that no one has mentioned - YOU NEVER SEE ANYONE DIE IN THIS THING! They just disappear. That's not horrific. Also the very first scene, with the family getting killed has some of the most nauseating camera work imaginable. I've rented this movie from my local video shack at least 10 times, and everytime it gets funnier and funnier. What about Thor's stilte "o-KAY Honey"? &holy s**t that drummer's accent was bad. Like the reviewers, I was sure it was supposed to be Australian, but some other people have suggested Cockney? There's so many little things to discuss...I could go on and on and on....THOR'S NAKED SHOWER BUTT! The score! The handcuffs hanging from the van's rear view mirror! I have to stop typing now......
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Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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