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SIX-STRING SAMURAI - 3 Slimes
Rated PG-13
Copyright 1998 Blade LLC.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Buddy - Rock and roll warrior who carries his katana and six-string guitar everywhere. Battling his way to Vegas to claim the throne, mortally wounded by Death.
  • The Kid - Orphan after mom gets killed, starts tagging along after Buddy.
  • The Red Elvis' (Elvises? What is the plural of "Elvis" anyway?) - Minions of Death, a Russian rock band. Slain by their master for failing to kill Buddy. (Actual band who did the soundtrack by the way.)
  • The Pin Pals - Three evil bowlers who use knives concealed in pins, hacked up by Buddy.
  • The Windmill People - Freaks! They live under the windmill fields and wear either makeshift spacesuits (The air tanks are made from water coolers!) or strips of rubber. Their god is a talking flashlight who has quite a few less followers after Buddy shows up.
  • Cavemen - Bunch of Neanderthals driving a pickup truck. Turned into hairy sushi by Buddy.
  • The Russian Army - Laying siege to Lost Vegas, Buddy sends them to the great Lenin convention in the sky.
  • Three Evil Archers - Henchmen to Death, they often finish each other's sentences.
  • Death - Evil incarnate, he wishes to kill the other challengers and claim Elvis' throne for himself. Dissolves after "The Kid" throws water on him.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Oh are you going to love this! "The Wizard of Oz" meets "Highlander" after the apocalypse, now there's an idea you don't see every day.

In the movie's alternate reality Russia nuked the U.S. in 1957 and then invaded, Lost Vegas is the last bastion of freedom and Elvis is the king. After four decades he passes on and every warrior/musician hears the call. They must journey to Lost Vegas where one shall be crowned king. Unfortunately Death wants the throne for himself so the trail is fraught with peril.

Into this amazing script we drop Buddy, the most powerful rockin' samurai out there. On the way to his new gig (the crown) he saves "The Kid" - so the little bugger starts tagging along. Together they battle hordes of weirdos and struggle to avoid Death.

Death is one annoyed heavy metal guy and with his three henchmen the reaper is killing every other challenger. Buddy might be the only one powerful enough to deny him the crown. Prepare yourself for hordes of crazy fight scenes, Buddy (Holly?) cracks skulls with his guitar, dices with his katana, and is deadly in hand to hand. His attack on the Russian Army is breathtaking, including the Soviet "ninja" who knows "Tiger Style." (Hehehehe!)

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • If someone draws a line in the sand you may legally ignore said challenge by filling it in.
  • Dirty Harry and gasoline don't mix.
  • Jawbreakers and gumballs hurt when fired from a catapult.
  • Slash (From Guns 'n Roses.) is actually Death.
  • Pink golfballs are deadly, especially for midgets.
  • A rachet can fix anything wrong with a car.
  • Girls: If you want a guy, stick your gum to his glasses.
  • Getting smacked upside the head with a guitar sucks.
  • Spanish Moss is native to deserts.
  • Communists hate rock and roll.
  • Vegas looks just like the Emerald City.
  • Death is water soluble.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - Stock nuclear test footage, hello apocalypse.
  • 12 mins - Hey, the gas pump is leaking...
  • 13 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CAVEMAN!
  • 16 mins - Screw it, just run after him. They are, cool!
  • 33 mins - Hey kid, shut up.
  • 38 mins - A midget!
  • 42 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A NETHEAD!
  • 55 mins - That kid just screamed "Spinach Monster!" with a straight face. It's Oscar time!
  • 60 mins - You are "The Kid" not "The Karate Kid."
  • 66 mins - So that's how you say, "You're screwed." in Russian.
  • 67 mins - That guy didn't even get touched and he fell over.

Quotes: 

  • Buddy: "Now, where can I get a real drink?"
    Midget: "Follow the yellow brick road homey." (How does one spell that anyway?)

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note sixstringsam1.wav The radio disc jockey who sounds like "The Wolfman."
Green Music Note sixstringsam2.wav Pin Pal: "Nice tuxedo...nice tuxedo to die in!"
Green Music Note sixstringsam3.wav Some Guy: "Hey, they say you can kill over two hundred men, and play a mean six-string at the same time."
Green Music Note sixstringsam4.wav Buddy: "Who are you?"
Death: "Death."
Buddy: "Cool."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipsixstringsam1.mpg - 2.8m
Buddy commences stomping a hole in the Russian Army's butt when the refuse to let him into Lost Vegas territory. It is just an excuse for massive slicing and dicing really.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1] 2 3 ... 6
Six-String Samurai
Reply #1. Posted on May 16, 1999, 01:22:28 AM by
This film is good... What can i say, it has the 2 best things on earth: kung fu and rock and roll.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #2. Posted on August 06, 1999, 12:20:30 PM by Dalbychan
Four words: Live action American Anime.  Seamlessly melds almost every single aspect of American culture imaginable into a single unified whole.  Hilariously Surrealist humor.  Only "Army of Darkness" and "Le Visiteurs" (sic) come even close.  Leave reality at the door, and "Follow the Yellow Brick Road, homey."
Six-String Samurai
Reply #3. Posted on January 22, 2000, 09:09:11 PM by Forrest
This film is worth watching for one line. WindMill Man: "If I were you, I'd be running!" Buddy (our hero): "If you were me, you'd be good looking." hehehehe thats superhero wit my friends.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #4. Posted on January 27, 2000, 08:44:06 AM by Evil Edsel
Just a note: the plural of Elvis is Elvi (like fungi, OK?)
Six-String Samurai
Reply #5. Posted on March 04, 2000, 02:13:34 PM by S.Rose
I think buddy is sexy.  
If I were the kid, I will follow him around too!  But why does he whine?  
I also enjoyed the different "take" on Elvis.  The Six-String Samurai kicks GraceLand's ass anyday.  
Six-String Samurai
Reply #6. Posted on March 31, 2000, 07:29:21 PM by
The Red Elvises have their own website at www.redelvises.com.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #7. Posted on April 25, 2000, 02:23:24 AM by Zhenya
The film was tons and tons of fun to watch! Perhaps what some of you guys need is
to be russian and to like rock 'n roll better.
As hilarious the movie is, though, I suggest you go for some Red Elvises CD's
instead. They are even more so, complete with the accent, and off the wall lyrics.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #8. Posted on June 06, 2000, 07:41:09 PM by Velocity
When this movie recently screened on Showtime (around 4:30 AM), I was on my way to bed, and---judging from the opening sequence---I figured this was just another artsy-fartsy independent film (a perfect reason to nod off). But then "Buddy" arrived on the scene (Jeff Falcon playing a badass version of Buddy Holly with a samurai sword), and I was startled wide awake.  The intro to this film sets an unlikely stage: A nuclear apocalypse happened in 1957, the Russians WON, and Elvis Presley became the King of Las Vegas... Oooooookay. More recently, since the King's death, Rock-Warriors (such as Buddy) have been making a pilgrimage to Lost Vegas to assume the empty throne. The movie takes some getting used to, so put on your Hokey Hat. It starts out hokey, gradually becomes sort of endearing, suddenly falls back to hokey, and finishes off sluggishly, awkwardly, like a runner who used up all his juice on the first quarter-mile. DOES have fairly good soundtrack, if you are into Rockabilly and Russian Surf music (soundtrack is better than the film, by a longshot). Totally unnecessary child-interest (somebody PLEASE put that whining brat out of his misery), but some really GOOD camerawork in places, somewhat reminiscent of Woo.  Don't get me wrong, this movie is bad with a capital B, but it's strangely hypnotic.  And, god help me, after 15 minutes I realized that I was tapping my foot to the soundtrack.
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