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SIX-STRING SAMURAI - 3 Slimes
Rated PG-13
Copyright 1998 Blade LLC.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Buddy - Rock and roll warrior who carries his katana and six-string guitar everywhere. Battling his way to Vegas to claim the throne, mortally wounded by Death.
  • The Kid - Orphan after mom gets killed, starts tagging along after Buddy.
  • The Red Elvis' (Elvises? What is the plural of "Elvis" anyway?) - Minions of Death, a Russian rock band. Slain by their master for failing to kill Buddy. (Actual band who did the soundtrack by the way.)
  • The Pin Pals - Three evil bowlers who use knives concealed in pins, hacked up by Buddy.
  • The Windmill People - Freaks! They live under the windmill fields and wear either makeshift spacesuits (The air tanks are made from water coolers!) or strips of rubber. Their god is a talking flashlight who has quite a few less followers after Buddy shows up.
  • Cavemen - Bunch of Neanderthals driving a pickup truck. Turned into hairy sushi by Buddy.
  • The Russian Army - Laying siege to Lost Vegas, Buddy sends them to the great Lenin convention in the sky.
  • Three Evil Archers - Henchmen to Death, they often finish each other's sentences.
  • Death - Evil incarnate, he wishes to kill the other challengers and claim Elvis' throne for himself. Dissolves after "The Kid" throws water on him.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Oh are you going to love this! "The Wizard of Oz" meets "Highlander" after the apocalypse, now there's an idea you don't see every day.

In the movie's alternate reality Russia nuked the U.S. in 1957 and then invaded, Lost Vegas is the last bastion of freedom and Elvis is the king. After four decades he passes on and every warrior/musician hears the call. They must journey to Lost Vegas where one shall be crowned king. Unfortunately Death wants the throne for himself so the trail is fraught with peril.

Into this amazing script we drop Buddy, the most powerful rockin' samurai out there. On the way to his new gig (the crown) he saves "The Kid" - so the little bugger starts tagging along. Together they battle hordes of weirdos and struggle to avoid Death.

Death is one annoyed heavy metal guy and with his three henchmen the reaper is killing every other challenger. Buddy might be the only one powerful enough to deny him the crown. Prepare yourself for hordes of crazy fight scenes, Buddy (Holly?) cracks skulls with his guitar, dices with his katana, and is deadly in hand to hand. His attack on the Russian Army is breathtaking, including the Soviet "ninja" who knows "Tiger Style." (Hehehehe!)

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • If someone draws a line in the sand you may legally ignore said challenge by filling it in.
  • Dirty Harry and gasoline don't mix.
  • Jawbreakers and gumballs hurt when fired from a catapult.
  • Slash (From Guns 'n Roses.) is actually Death.
  • Pink golfballs are deadly, especially for midgets.
  • A rachet can fix anything wrong with a car.
  • Girls: If you want a guy, stick your gum to his glasses.
  • Getting smacked upside the head with a guitar sucks.
  • Spanish Moss is native to deserts.
  • Communists hate rock and roll.
  • Vegas looks just like the Emerald City.
  • Death is water soluble.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 1 min - Stock nuclear test footage, hello apocalypse.
  • 12 mins - Hey, the gas pump is leaking...
  • 13 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CAVEMAN!
  • 16 mins - Screw it, just run after him. They are, cool!
  • 33 mins - Hey kid, shut up.
  • 38 mins - A midget!
  • 42 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A NETHEAD!
  • 55 mins - That kid just screamed "Spinach Monster!" with a straight face. It's Oscar time!
  • 60 mins - You are "The Kid" not "The Karate Kid."
  • 66 mins - So that's how you say, "You're screwed." in Russian.
  • 67 mins - That guy didn't even get touched and he fell over.

Quotes: 

  • Buddy: "Now, where can I get a real drink?"
    Midget: "Follow the yellow brick road homey." (How does one spell that anyway?)

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note sixstringsam1.wav The radio disc jockey who sounds like "The Wolfman."
Green Music Note sixstringsam2.wav Pin Pal: "Nice tuxedo...nice tuxedo to die in!"
Green Music Note sixstringsam3.wav Some Guy: "Hey, they say you can kill over two hundred men, and play a mean six-string at the same time."
Green Music Note sixstringsam4.wav Buddy: "Who are you?"
Death: "Death."
Buddy: "Cool."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipsixstringsam1.mpg - 2.8m
Buddy commences stomping a hole in the Russian Army's butt when the refuse to let him into Lost Vegas territory. It is just an excuse for massive slicing and dicing really.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6
Six-String Samurai
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Wont
Do you NEED to have realistic blood and guts? does everything have to be seemlessly CGE'ed? If the answer is yes then dont watch Six-String Samurai. It's just the right amount of nonsense to make me love it, The scenes come together like a great comic book where you havent read all the sequels.  Its filled with amusing remnants of useless Americana. Beautiful scenes, great soundtrack, this is NOT your typical straight forward disney or hollywood tale, and thats why I continue to make my friends watch the DVD.

If you dont like this movie, you have no soul. :)
Six-String Samurai
Reply #26. Posted on March 14, 2003, 04:46:10 AM by Kit
When this opened in Austin the local independant paper went nuts fawning all over itself over how great this clever piece of cinema was. I dutifully visited the local arthouse and payed my money to see this. What a rip off. I would have been happier seeing 2 hours of concert footage from the Red Elvises, then this hackneyed and self-important junk. It is nice to see it given the B-movie treatment it deserves, but I think you were too kind to it.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Wolfgangerl
While it's not the best movie I've ever seen (it's not even the best campy or weird movie I've ever seen) it is very good and very clever. Wit and writing in general are the most important thing that goes into a movie, and this film has wit for sure. See it if it's your thing, if you know you won't enjoy it then just don't see it.

To sum up, SSS is like Monty Python, you either get it and love it or don't get it.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by John
I can't believe you gave this turd four slimes... it doesn't even deserve a skull (that bad it is) I mean, I like bad movies and all, but this one was definately not funny... at all.

Six-String Samurai
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Rasputin
Six-String Samurai will at last get its due @ the 4th Annual Not Fade Away Buddy Holly Symposium in Lubbock,Texas over Labor Day Weekend when it looks to figure prominently in the Songwriters Panel on 9/4/04, (moderated by Terry Stewart, President and CEO of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame)where Zhenya Rock, former lead guitarist for the Red Elvises (and current ZEEROK frontman) will mention it in connection with the life of Buddy . .(Buddy Holly, that is, not Buddy Rock) . . and its subsequent cult following garnered over the years in the B-flick anals(sic)of Chop-Socky lore, and visceral post-apocolyptic sagas (What?? . .)Anyway, the cradle of Rock and Roll and its denizens will pass the ultimate judgement on this poor man's "Mad Max"and how their native son fairs in this thinly veiled reference to same. Hasta.
Six-String Samurai
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by John Pickett
I remember seeing this movie on Showtime.  I loved it.  I tried to catch it everytime it was on.  I eventually bought it on DVD.  It is a great film that any B-movie fan should love.

I highly recommend it.

JOHN
Six-String Samurai
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by Michelle
I saw this amazing movie about six months ago at my best friends house. I bought the dvd about 2 months later. The best thing about this movie is the way it was filmed. Every frame looks like a colorful picture.

I would recommend that every see this movie.

Michelle
Six-String Samurai
Reply #32. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by comrade conrad
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! not the red army! my uncle was in it!
(fought at Stalingrad)
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