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THE CAR - 2 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1983 Palo Ato Productions Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Wade - James Brolin! A tough, yet tender, southern California lawman who never wears a helmet when riding his motorcycle.
  • Luke - Alcoholic deputy who managed to stay off the sauce for two years, until this darn car made him drink again.
  • Lauren - Wade's girlfriend, she grabs men by the scrotum as a negotiating tactic. (I'm being literal here.) Tries out for the human speedbump position.
  • Chas - American Indian deputy who manages to reinforce every stereotype in the book.
  • Amos - Nasty old man who beats his wife, ends up saving the town by blowing the car sky high.
  • Everett - He certainly lived a full life before stopping like a deer in those headlights.
  • Margie - Luke's girlfriend or wife, she appears to have torpedoes in her bra.
  • Wade's Daughters - Cute little buttons who wanted Lauren to be their new mommy.
  • The Car - If Satan was going to build a street rod...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Why the Lord of Evil would choose a small town in southern California (Read into this: desert.) to terrorize with a custom musclecar is beyond me, maybe he just does dumb things at times. The fear campaign proceeds quite well and soon the sprawling town (Population: 40 or so.) is paralyzed, even their amazing police force can't help. Why they needed ten deputies is beyond me anyway, was this place colonized by Hell's Angels or something? Even a tank would have a hard time stopping this car though, at one point it is faced with two patrol cars. Amazingly it turns and begins flipping, rolling over and squashing them before driving off. (The wonders of special effects, or maybe just having two cars and a jumble on the editing room floor.) Everyone struck by the car becomes a fatality, despite the fact that it never runs over them, instead propelling them through the air like some strange tennis ball machine that shoots humans vice tennis balls. Only Wade's ingenious plan saves the day, after luring the car into a canyon they get it to drive off a cliff and then set off dynamite charges, burying the cursed thing under a tomb of rock. There are plenty of scenes with the wheeled antagonist featured, but the movie has some annoying dead sections.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Demonic automobiles see the world through a red filter.
  • It's okay to beat a woman in California, just so long as she is your wife.
  • Falling three hundred feet onto sharp rocks will not blemish a body.
  • It is easy for a car to sneak up on someone in the open desert.
  • Kids and horses can outrun a car.
  • Never call Satan a chickenship son of a bitch.
  • Cars have gas tanks on the roof.
  • Young women would not make good speedbumps.
  • Silver, holy water, the cross, and dynamite shall be your proof against evil.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 6 mins - Why does it have a truck horn?
  • 7 mins - The car just hit the back tire on that kid's bike, he'd have gone under the car and been ground to mush, not bumped over the bridge.
  • 28 mins - What is in the weapons locker? Shotguns and a fire extinguisher of course.
  • 42 mins - True horror: watching a middle school marching band practice.
  • 45 mins - How incredibly stupid of him... ...oh well, he's trampled.
  • 46 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DRUM!
  • 53 mins - If I didn't know better I'd say they filmed the cars doing twenty or so and then sped up the film.
  • 67 mins - Watch how Chas is driving, this must be a really winding road.
  • 70 mins - Why did the highway dead end in her backyard?
  • 93 mins - It's the Rolling Stones and they're on fire!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note thecar1.wav Deputy: "She said there was no driver in the car."
Green Music Note thecar2.wav Lauren taunting the car.
Green Music Note thecar3.wav Wade: "Looked like he smashed through our cars like he was stomping bugs. I didn't even see a scratch on him."
Green Music Note thecar4.wav Luke: "That car flew into that house four feet off the ground! And how did he know where she lived?"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImageImage
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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipthecar1.mpg - 2.2m
Watch in horror as the screaming vehicle bears down on unsuspecting children! I think band practice is probably over for today.

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Internet Movie Database


Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 8
The Car
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Anthony Bannon
I recently added a comment about this pic on the Internet Movie Database.  You're certainly right about a lot of the characters in this film: they suck! The real star of the show is The Car, and I'm glad you guys listed it among the characters as it has more personality than most of the humans here.  When that metal monster is onscreen, the film really works, and fortunately for us, it's onscreen a lot!
The Car
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Kristi Howard
Well, I grew up a fan of this movie, and still am.  I own a VHS copy even.

My family, especially my dad, are Ford fanatics, and being this car was a customized 1969 Lincoln Mark II (not III)...one of the cars he's always wanted...well, he watched it a lot for the car.  ;-)

But, don't we all have a special movie that we just can't watch enough, no matter how lame it could be?

On a +++ note...my friend, who is very picky about lame stuff...liked this movie...and she's even a Chevy fanatic!

I told her up front that the movie would feel corny...but that was the 70's, and she thought it was cool.

I mean, wobbly tombstones, changing scenes with a kid holding a band hat in front of the screen, and a "halfway" intriguing storyline make this movie seem a bit odd...but, if you put yourself back into the 70's...for the day, it was pretty good stuff, IMO.

The Car
Reply #19. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by J.Noble
This is one of my all time favorite movies, bad parts and all. It left an incredible impression on me when I first tried to watch it on late night TV way back in 1987. I was 11 years old and too freaked out while watching it hunt down the two bikers. I finally lost my nerve and turned it off. It's still a creepy film for me today if I let myself get into it. The movie, while having long talky parts with no action and some cheesy sped up chase scenes, still does a good job of keeping a real sense of dread. That the movie didn't explain why or where the Car came from is the very reason why it is such a creepy film. By the way, someone above posted about an episode of Knight Rider. There is an episode of Knight Rider that featured an "evil" twin of KITT, KARR. Furthermore, that episode actually borrowed the scene of the Car (from the movie) driving off the cliff and falling through the air. This didn't work too well for me being that an '80s Pontiac Trans-Am and a big square Lincoln Mark III don't resemble each other too well.      
The Car
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by
painful-bad, not funny-bad.  maybe the recent video remaster is better but god was this movie DULL.  i remember taping it off the sci-fi channel a year or two ago for a friend who wanted to revisit his nostalgic youth (and unfortunately didn't have cable), and couldn't believe how boring and ugly-looking 'The Car' was.  the director... obviously held dull browns and murky greens as colors close to his heart, and on top of that couldn't film a scary scene to save his life.  reportedly this movie had a big budget for the time... a notion that's more hilarious than anything within this crapper.  Good going, Mr. Brolin: with this and 'The Amityville Horror,' you're batting 2 for 2 in the world of s**tty horror. :)
The Car
Reply #21. Posted on August 06, 2001, 01:07:27 AM by peter
great movie i own a 17 and a half foot exact replica or the car and i must say the thing is just evil............
The Car
Reply #22. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Morgan Hoyle-Combs
That's a 1969 Lincoln Mark III Casper! But, Why? Why a 1969 Lincoln Mark III? Why not a 1938 Phantom Corsair? It's tough, mean, slick, has a great body, and still looks like a "big upsidedown bathtub"!
The Car
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by felicity
the car is fantastic & the best thing about it is the way it beeps at you before it moves in for the kill. I can still hear that rhythm whenever I think of the movie - which I haven't seen in a while. Recommend it highly!
The Car
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Robert
I saw The Car when I was very young and it scred the pants off me.I never saw the movie again until I was 28.I thought it sucked.But I did like the the car itself and the sound of the engine.I know that car probably don't exist anymore but if it did I would love to see it.Christine was a sharp ride and I would own a Fury,but the car was unique in it's own way.I wish Hollywood would make e sequel or a remake using the original car (or a reproduction)but a better story line,a well written script and even some of the same actors.It would be cool:"The Car Returns".I know,wishful thinking.
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