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THE CAR - 2 Slimes
Rated PG
Copyright 1983 Palo Ato Productions Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Wade - James Brolin! A tough, yet tender, southern California lawman who never wears a helmet when riding his motorcycle.
  • Luke - Alcoholic deputy who managed to stay off the sauce for two years, until this darn car made him drink again.
  • Lauren - Wade's girlfriend, she grabs men by the scrotum as a negotiating tactic. (I'm being literal here.) Tries out for the human speedbump position.
  • Chas - American Indian deputy who manages to reinforce every stereotype in the book.
  • Amos - Nasty old man who beats his wife, ends up saving the town by blowing the car sky high.
  • Everett - He certainly lived a full life before stopping like a deer in those headlights.
  • Margie - Luke's girlfriend or wife, she appears to have torpedoes in her bra.
  • Wade's Daughters - Cute little buttons who wanted Lauren to be their new mommy.
  • The Car - If Satan was going to build a street rod...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Why the Lord of Evil would choose a small town in southern California (Read into this: desert.) to terrorize with a custom musclecar is beyond me, maybe he just does dumb things at times. The fear campaign proceeds quite well and soon the sprawling town (Population: 40 or so.) is paralyzed, even their amazing police force can't help. Why they needed ten deputies is beyond me anyway, was this place colonized by Hell's Angels or something? Even a tank would have a hard time stopping this car though, at one point it is faced with two patrol cars. Amazingly it turns and begins flipping, rolling over and squashing them before driving off. (The wonders of special effects, or maybe just having two cars and a jumble on the editing room floor.) Everyone struck by the car becomes a fatality, despite the fact that it never runs over them, instead propelling them through the air like some strange tennis ball machine that shoots humans vice tennis balls. Only Wade's ingenious plan saves the day, after luring the car into a canyon they get it to drive off a cliff and then set off dynamite charges, burying the cursed thing under a tomb of rock. There are plenty of scenes with the wheeled antagonist featured, but the movie has some annoying dead sections.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Demonic automobiles see the world through a red filter.
  • It's okay to beat a woman in California, just so long as she is your wife.
  • Falling three hundred feet onto sharp rocks will not blemish a body.
  • It is easy for a car to sneak up on someone in the open desert.
  • Kids and horses can outrun a car.
  • Never call Satan a chickenship son of a bitch.
  • Cars have gas tanks on the roof.
  • Young women would not make good speedbumps.
  • Silver, holy water, the cross, and dynamite shall be your proof against evil.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 6 mins - Why does it have a truck horn?
  • 7 mins - The car just hit the back tire on that kid's bike, he'd have gone under the car and been ground to mush, not bumped over the bridge.
  • 28 mins - What is in the weapons locker? Shotguns and a fire extinguisher of course.
  • 42 mins - True horror: watching a middle school marching band practice.
  • 45 mins - How incredibly stupid of him... ...oh well, he's trampled.
  • 53 mins - If I didn't know better I'd say they filmed the cars doing twenty or so and then sped up the film.
  • 67 mins - Watch how Chas is driving, this must be a really winding road.
  • 70 mins - Why did the highway dead end in her backyard?
  • 93 mins - It's the Rolling Stones and they're on fire!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note thecar1.wav Deputy: "She said there was no driver in the car."
Green Music Note thecar2.wav Lauren taunting the car.
Green Music Note thecar3.wav Wade: "Looked like he smashed through our cars like he was stomping bugs. I didn't even see a scratch on him."
Green Music Note thecar4.wav Luke: "That car flew into that house four feet off the ground! And how did he know where she lived?"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipthecar1.mpg - 2.2m
Watch in horror as the screaming vehicle bears down on unsuspecting children! I think band practice is probably over for today.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 8
The Car
Reply #33. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by mike
I loved this movie when I saw it as a teenager and I still do. My best friend and I went to see it at the theatre about three or four times, we couldn't get enough of it.

If anyone is interested I devoted a webpage to this movie,as far as I know it's the only one on the NET
to see it go to:
The Car
Reply #34. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Dawn Thorp
I used to watch this movie all the time when I was a kid, every time it was on TV.  For some reason it fascinated me to no end.

I had not seen the movie since before I was like 10 or 11, until--lo and behold!--it happened to be on the Sci-Fi Channel just a couple days ago!  (I just turned 35.)  I couldn't believe my luck!  Revisiting childhood memories was great!

Total guilty pleasure movie!  I am a big fan of movies of all kinds, but the bad B-movies are so great!  Thanks for putting up such a great site, guys!

The Car
Reply #35. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Steve
No guys, I've got news for you THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!! It has no explantion, no plot, all the wrong people die, and who cares. I didn't, I was hoping Babs hu8bie would die, no such luck. OK so I rooted for thje car.
The Car
Reply #36. Posted on November 15, 2003, 06:09:46 AM by DJ
I Love this movie! I seen it a few times on the SciFi channel, a while back. I love that car, its so cool. I was really disapointed when Lauren died! :(  She was hot. Some parts are kinda slow and alittle boring, but this movie is worth watching. I like it so much, I bought it on DVD.
The Car
Reply #37. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Morgan Hoyle-Combs
You know, I've been thinking, if you combined Mad Max and The Terminator with The Car, you would have a movie. A post apocalyptic, with a cyborg car, out to desrtroy one man and only one man.
The Car
Reply #38. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Morgan Hoyle-Combs
No Christian, actually this is what happened:

Margie comes out side when she here's a noise.

Margie: Lauren is that you?
Wade: Margie, it's Wade.
Margie: Wade? I thought you were in the hospital!
Wade: Don't come in here! Go back upstairs!
Margie: What's wrong?
Wade: Go back inside!
Margie: What?
Wade: Did you here me?! GET IN THE HOUSE!!
Margie: What is wrong Wade?!
Wade: Go back upstairs! The Car! It's in here!
Margie: Oh my god!

Magie goes back in the house.

THAT is what happened.
The Car
Reply #39. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Christian
It is in this movie that I heard the funniest line ever written. It's when James Brolin comes home and finds the devilsih vehicle waiting for him.

"Lauren, lock the kids in their room! The car is in the GARAGE!"
The Car
Reply #40. Posted on March 21, 2004, 02:07:03 PM by Tommy
I am a true gearhead(Chevy)and I LOVE this movie especially for that CAR, they now offer 1/18 metal models of this car I just love it and the movie is Good also!!!!
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