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THE STUFF - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1985 New World Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • David Rutherford - Michael Moriarty! Industrial spy that isn't as dumb as he looks, sounds, or acts.
  • Nicole Kendall - Ad campaign executive who cares more about people than the money (first departure from reality).
  • Jason - Darn kid, you know, the one that can't get killed.
  • Chocolate Chip Charlie - The Chocolate Chip Cookie King, loses his company in a hostile takeover. Martial arts master too!
  • Colonel Spears - Leader of a militant group, mankind's last hope to stop "The Stuff" from taking over.
  • The Stuff - If the Nazis had made yogurt...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Man eating dessert whip and militant groups! A new taste sensation is sweeping the nation, it's "The Stuff!" I liked the beginning of this movie, some old guy finds nasty white stuff bubbling out of the ground - SO HE TASTES IT! Mmmmm, that's good, we should sell this to people. Then you have the "greedy old men" of the ice cream industry hiring an investigator, who appears to be a complete moron, to learn the inside scoop about the new treat. "The Stuff" makes you hungry for more and soon takes over your body, leaving only a empty shell filled with ambulatory cream. To top all this off (not with a cherry you rube) it is a militant group which ultimately saves humanity by defeating the "whipped" zombies! Extremely fun film for your bad movie sweet tooth.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Kids who are unruly should be sent to bed with a pint of dessert.
  • Reddish-brown cowboy boots do not go with gray suits.
  • Dogs love whipped cream but it pisses them off.
  • There are a darn lot of cars from PA in New York City and NJ.
  • Non-dairy creamers are bad, real bad. (glazed expression) Support your local dairy farmer... ...he is your friend... ...cows good...
  • It is possible to slap someone unconscious.
  • Militant groups travel by taxi.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 2 mins - Okay, so the old guy finds this stuff bubbling out of the ground, in the middle of a mining facility, and starts eating it? How did he get that old being so stupid? Damn you Darwin, it's all been a lie!
  • 17 mins - The stuff is kept frozen, refrigerated, and at room temp.
  • 48 mins - Jason is hiding atop the bare metal tanker in his red shirt.
  • 54 mins - David had to hotwire the truck but now he's starting it with a key?
  • 59 mins - Jason really isn't inside that tank is he? I know this was made years ago but those effects suck!
  • 74 mins - A huge army of machinegun-carrying extremists invades town and no cops or National Guard?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note thestuff1.wav Jason's Mom: "Low in calories, good tasting, and it doesn't even spot...and he doesn't like it."
Green Music Note thestuff2.wav David: "Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while."
Green Music Note thestuff3.wav David: "That stuff comes right out of the center of the Earth, and straight into our supermarkets."
Green Music Note thestuff4.wav Colonel Spears: "Pay the drivers, issue a ten percent tip, get a cash receipt."
Militants: "Yes sir!"
Colonel Spears: "Proceed to the main lobby, we will reassemble, HUP!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImage


ImageImage


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipthestuff1.mpg - 2.3m
Dessert eating a person!

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3 4 5
The Stuff
Reply #9. Posted on August 10, 2001, 08:32:28 AM by lostmissy
this movie isnt good enough to be bad...its just so lame!!
The Stuff
Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Kronik
The movie was kinda alright, some pretty gay s**t in it though. but it was worth a laugh. there's gotta be a sequel though man.
The Stuff
Reply #11. Posted on February 12, 2002, 12:00:27 AM by Deena
I really liked this movie.  I mean killer desert, how many other movies have that for a premise?
The Stuff
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by yuop
This movie is hilarious.  It's total HP Lovecraft, evil slime from underground.  And really, this is where processed food comes from, for all you f**king know.
The Stuff
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by kayte
This film cracks me up everytime I watch it! What kind of moron would just eat some white foam you found on the ground??That kid, the one who goes mental, the only one who can sense the bad vibes coming from the stuff, he's so unpredictable and such a crap little actor bless his heart. But Mo is the best, 'Ma' friends call me Mo, cos everytime I get something I always wan' mo'. Being serious tho, I think this film is awful, I just don't understand what sort of moron would give the go ahead to fund a movie like this! It's awful, I could do a better job of i myself, given the equipment. I don't wanna knock it 2 much tho, it is very funny and amusing and I doubt very much that the makers of this film had the aspirations of producing a quality movie.Dunno wether it's worth seieng or not tho.:D
The Stuff
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Mark
This wasn't the only Larry Cohen travesty Micheal Moriarty appeared in.  Some of you will remember his character in Its Alive III The Island Of The Alive.  On a side note, Im sure Larry Cohen means well.  If we don't stop polluting the earth,  we'll get killer FLUFF and mutant babies. But why does his message always come out as stupid movies no one can follow???
The Stuff
Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by truheart
 This has to be the worst movie ever made and the funniest at the same time. I saw this movie in the theater with a friend when I was about 13. I've seen good movies that didn't make as much of an impression on me as The Stuff. I still can't remember what the hell made us go see this, although I suspect it was being able to get into an R Rated horror movie. Litte did I know that it would be an unforgettable experience. Whenever anyone asks me what's the worst movie I've ever seen, I say The Stuff without hesitation. I usually get a blank stare as if the person had just had a bowl of The Stuff. For a long time I though maybe me and my friend and the 30 or so other people in the theater were the only living people to have experienced this movie. My friend and I laughed so hard at this movie we were threatned by a grown man and almost kicked out of the theater. I was young but I wasn't stupid, I knew this was one of the worst movies I had ever laid eyes upon, right up there with Gymkata which was also a laughfest. From the moment the old guy tasted The Stuff right out of the ground I knew I was watching a movie funnier than any intentional comedy I'd ever seen. There was also the great scen at the end where they are running from The Stuff and it looks like exactly what it was, the actors running in front of a screen! Let's not forget that great title "The Stuff", how clever. For years I always asscociated Michael Moriarity with this movie, when I first saw hime on Law and Order I couldn't get it on my mind.He'll always be the guy from The Stuff to me!
The Stuff
Reply #16. Posted on June 06, 2003, 01:34:05 PM by sikegirl
I wonder if Michael Moriarity and Paul Sorvino talked about this flick when they were on Law & Order together.  More likely they made a secret pact to never mention it to ANYONE.  Hee.  I thought it was really funny, in a very bad movie way.  Many plot holes and stupid moments (nice of Mo & Whatsherface to forget they left the kid on the plane and just go to the hotel for the night...Yikes!), but everyone looked like they were having fun and not taking things too seriously.  How could they?
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