|THE DAY TIME ENDED
|Copyright 1979 Vortex Productions
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Jenny - Cute little girl who isn't scared of water and lights operating on their own.
- Beth - Jenny's mother, any nudity on her part would have improved this movie.
- Grant - The grandfather, he wears this weird "Jedi Bathrobe" outfit.
- Ana - Grandma, and that's about it.
- Steve - Ratty-haired kid, always referring to Grant as dad but I have no idea what's up with him.
- Richard - Beth's husband, he spends most of the film just getting there.
|Not only does this movie throw more bad special effects at you than a Battlestar Galactica episode it also has less plot. Cosmic events rip the fabric of time and space, which only affects a small area of desert in Southwest America... ...but that's not important. What is important is a senseless parade of special effects, stop motion dinosaurs, little green men, the vacuum cleaner of doom (VCOD), and lights turning on and off. Finally the characters of "Lost in this Movie" are taken in by an advanced alien civilization so the pain can end. I'm not going to say any more about this mess of a film. |
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Super Novas in galaxys hundreds of light years away cause earthquakes here.
- Kids will sit there and speak with green glowing pyramids.
- Sixty year-old women should not tell us they're "turned on."
- Upon seeing smoke and light coming from under a door nobody thinks about fire.
- Clay dinosaurs shouldn't pop out of nowhere.
- Dinosaurs knock on doors.
- Special effects always go for man-made structures, stay away from your house or car.
- You can make a movie by throwing together special effects. Hey Earl you do the "flashy things" right? And Mick you've got "green glow" under control?
- 6 mins - Charles Band Producer? Oh no!
- 10 mins - Occured "several hundred years ago."
- 21 mins - Now it's a little green pyramid?
- 39 mins - Occured "200 years ago."
- 46 mins - Now that is a pissed off vacuum cleaner.
- 60 mins - Tromp, tramp, tromp. Only field of flowers in the whole desert and you go walking on them, jerk...
- 74 mins - Who the heck thought up this "Happy Ending, Everyone Together" (HEET) scene?
- Ending Credits - Just look at those names repeat.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Grant (distorted): "When I was out among you I always believed, as you did, that time exists in a sequential pattern. One day following another, one year after another, each century following the previous one - but it's not like that at all!"
||Clay dinosaur roaring.
||Grant: "Steve you know what this is don't you? It's a time-space warp!"
||Beth: "I felt a communication, a series of images after which I knew what was happening to us and I knew our fear was unnecessary."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
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