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UNCLE SAM - 1 Slime
Rated R
Copyright 1996 Gable Productions
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Jody - Freaked out kid, wants to be just like his uncle Sam.
  • Jed - Isaac Hayes! (Chef from Southpark you nut.) Korean War veteran with a wooden leg.
  • Sally - Jody's mother and Sam's sister, at least she does seem to realize her kid is a freak.
  • Louise - Sam's widow who is now dating a local sheriff. I think she's a submissive...
  • Mr. Crandell - Teacher who protested the Vietnam War, gets a hatchet to the forehead.
  • Ralph - Sally's boyfriend who cheats on his taxes and is an all around putz, shot in the head.
  • Phil - Town sheriff and Louise's new boyfriend, has a flagpole shoved through his chest.
  • Jesse, Rick, and Clete - Three antisocial kids, in order they are: beheaded, buried in a grave, and run up a flagpole.
  • Uncle Sam - Army Master Sergeant Sam Harper, killed in the Gulf War, who has returned to wreak havoc on the living.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

From Hollywood comes a patriotic movie idolizing artificial legs, burned corpses, and CRAP. Don't you screenwriters have anything better to do? Churn out the third through ninth sequels to "Terms of Endearment" or something, though you might be able to get away with shoving this in as the seventh.

What it boils down to is this sadistic Army helicopter gunner named Sam Harper was shot down by friendly fire during the Gulf War. Five years later his widow, sister, and nephew are doing fine (okay, maybe Jody wasn't doing fine, that kid is definitely headed for a killing spree then the gas chamber - freak), until the sealed casket shows up with Sam's crispy body in it. Soon the charred demon rises from the dead and begins killing everyone who doesn't give Uncle Sam his proper due. Lucky for everybody that Jed is still around, the old war veteran knows he has to save the children. (Anybody get it?)

Despite some badly contrived "patriotic" ways to kill people (detonated with fireworks, hung from a flagpole, that kind of stuff) the movie's one redeeming factor is a sack race. These people start hopping through the woods, it's a darn long sack race, and Jesse... ...the angry teenager starts attacking the other racers. Hop, hop, hop - SMASH! - hop, hop - KICK - then for no apparent reason he falls down a hill, I laughed. Don't let me get your hopes up though, that is about five minutes out of a ninety minute movie.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Identifying a five year old burned corpse is no fun.
  • Don't hand a woman her dead husband's melted dog tags.
  • Kids carry around ammo cans all the time, even to school.
  • Nothing kills the romantic mood like a coffin in your dining room.
  • Nice people don't hide veteran's artificial legs.
  • Stilts are pretty handy for peeping toms.
  • Getting spray painted sucks.
  • Every school has a hatchet or two hanging around.
  • Never let an antisocial teenager sing the National Anthem.
  • Unamplified country music can muffle a gunshot.
  • Replica cannons are fully functional and deadly accurate.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 12 mins - Wait a minute, that corpse just killed two people then made a horrible pun.
  • 23 mins - Kid, you are one twisted little pup...
  • 27 mins - Acting!
  • 39 mins - Jed isn't talking about his testicle is he? (You'll have to watch the scene.)
  • 41 mins - There is no way Jed fought in World War II.
  • 50 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 58 mins - This just hit me, it's the Fourth of July and school is still in?
  • 69 mins - A cross-country sack rack?
  • 70 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SACK RACER!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note unclesam1.wav Sally: "Jody stay away from the coffin, it's not something to play with."
Green Music Note unclesam2.wav Ralph: "We can't all be war heroes Jed."
Green Music Note unclesam3.wav Jed: "I suppose you found it quite amusing when that boy went up there and made mockery of the National Anthem. You're kind of humor."
Green Music Note unclesam4.wav Jody: "My Uncle Sam? But he's dead?"
Kid: "I never said he wasn't."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipunclesam1.mpg - 2.4m
This must be the longest and most violent sack race in the history of the world. It is the movie's saving grace.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 [3] 4
Uncle Sam
Reply #17. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Miguel
Any of you have a clue of why/how did Sam come back to life? Was it his own evil soul, some unidentified force, or it's just that the writers suck?
By the way, in México the complete name is "Uncle Sam, diabolical killer", which just makes it worse!
I got this for $3 (new, not previously seen!) and I still feel like they owe me...
Uncle Sam
Reply #18. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by chadzilla
I was very disappointed in this movie, considering its cast and the fact that William Lustig (Maniac, Vigilante, Relentess, and Maniac Cop 1 & 2) directed it and it was written by Larry Cohen (The Stuff, It's Alive, Q: The Winged Serpent, Maniac Cop 1 & 2, etc.).  The sack race clip was pretty funny, but it saddens me that Bill choose this movie to dedicate to the memory of Lucio Fulci.  I'm also surprised that no one noticed that the final shot of the movie is a sly homage to the closing moment of Fulci's legendary (to someone) film City of the Livind Dead (aka The Gates of Hell).
Uncle Sam
Reply #19. Posted on December 30, 2000, 01:18:56 AM by Joe
This movie was the best comedy Ive seen in awhile! The little blind twirp in the chair was plain silly and the scene with the sergeant on the phone in his hotel room was classic! If you are going to watch this movie with hopes of being scared, you will be greatly dissappointed. However, if you want to see something along the lines of Dumb and Dumber, this movie is it!
Uncle Sam
Reply #20. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Phil
Uncle Sam takes the cake as being the best movie of all time. This movie made me laugh harder then anything I've ever seen. My friends and I nearly had to stop the movie from puking. APix/UniPix is the master of B-movies. What makes this movie hilarious besides terrible acting, bad dialogue, and too much damn camera panning. And the fact that EVERY single scene in the movie is crucial. If you go to the bathroom and miss one scene, later you will have no idea why someone got killed or something. It's so poorly written. Just a few scenes to look for....The Sack Race, Jody stepping on the glass, the absurdly defenseless victims, the Ropes, the functional Cannon, some reason it looks like daylight outside at midnight, no one hears the gun shots at a small town festival, and how can uncle sam blow up a government official and still have time to pick up a flag and STILL have enough time to impale a cop falling back from the explosion, how does someone get buried alive? AND IS THAT KID p**sING ON THE GRAVE FOR 7 HOURS? HOW DO HIS FRIENDS NOT NOTICE HE'S SCREAMING AND GETTING BURIED. I have no idea. This movie is my all time favorite classic. Simply put, Uncle Sam is life!  
tip: Check out all the rest of the previews on Uncle Sam. they are all top quality UniPix B movies.
Uncle Sam
Reply #21. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by soldier assault hunter
Usually the word's (uncle sam) means the United States, hey it can also be refered as a homicidal killer right? The movie was short but ok. Not pure rate material but good is enough for me. Educational movies about the war are very efficent during self denfense, hehehehehe!!!
Uncle Sam
Reply #22. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Max Levin
Hmm... all these reader comments makes this I-have-seen-it-before-movie look like a killer. Some Hollywood-director must have searched the movie archives for an unused monster character and decided to make some moneys on this flick. It's totally uninterresting, it sucks ass but not so bad that it become irritating. A "Nothing"-movie, you can say...
Uncle Sam
Reply #23. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Chris1
I have rented this movie back in 1999 and in my opinon this movie sucks badly. It only got one good part and that part was the naked girl in the window. I just wish somebody kick that evil little boy's ass he was so stupid he was so mean to his mom and his aunt if I was in that movie I would gladly kick his Uncle Sam's ass and his. Why was every body so scared of Sam Harper in life and death he sound like a p***y to me.
Uncle Sam
Reply #24. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Frost

Hmmm, you know, maybe the movie can be inspirational, perhaps Johnny Knoxville and his gang from MTV's Jackass can do the whole sack race stunt, hopefully they won't survive and break their necks on their way down. Cheers.
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