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UNCLE SAM - 1 Slime
Rated R
Copyright 1996 Gable Productions
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Jody - Freaked out kid, wants to be just like his uncle Sam.
  • Jed - Isaac Hayes! (Chef from Southpark you nut.) Korean War veteran with a wooden leg.
  • Sally - Jody's mother and Sam's sister, at least she does seem to realize her kid is a freak.
  • Louise - Sam's widow who is now dating a local sheriff. I think she's a submissive...
  • Mr. Crandell - Teacher who protested the Vietnam War, gets a hatchet to the forehead.
  • Ralph - Sally's boyfriend who cheats on his taxes and is an all around putz, shot in the head.
  • Phil - Town sheriff and Louise's new boyfriend, has a flagpole shoved through his chest.
  • Jesse, Rick, and Clete - Three antisocial kids, in order they are: beheaded, buried in a grave, and run up a flagpole.
  • Uncle Sam - Army Master Sergeant Sam Harper, killed in the Gulf War, who has returned to wreak havoc on the living.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

From Hollywood comes a patriotic movie idolizing artificial legs, burned corpses, and CRAP. Don't you screenwriters have anything better to do? Churn out the third through ninth sequels to "Terms of Endearment" or something, though you might be able to get away with shoving this in as the seventh.

What it boils down to is this sadistic Army helicopter gunner named Sam Harper was shot down by friendly fire during the Gulf War. Five years later his widow, sister, and nephew are doing fine (okay, maybe Jody wasn't doing fine, that kid is definitely headed for a killing spree then the gas chamber - freak), until the sealed casket shows up with Sam's crispy body in it. Soon the charred demon rises from the dead and begins killing everyone who doesn't give Uncle Sam his proper due. Lucky for everybody that Jed is still around, the old war veteran knows he has to save the children. (Anybody get it?)

Despite some badly contrived "patriotic" ways to kill people (detonated with fireworks, hung from a flagpole, that kind of stuff) the movie's one redeeming factor is a sack race. These people start hopping through the woods, it's a darn long sack race, and Jesse... ...the angry teenager starts attacking the other racers. Hop, hop, hop - SMASH! - hop, hop - KICK - then for no apparent reason he falls down a hill, I laughed. Don't let me get your hopes up though, that is about five minutes out of a ninety minute movie.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Identifying a five year old burned corpse is no fun.
  • Don't hand a woman her dead husband's melted dog tags.
  • Kids carry around ammo cans all the time, even to school.
  • Nothing kills the romantic mood like a coffin in your dining room.
  • Nice people don't hide veteran's artificial legs.
  • Stilts are pretty handy for peeping toms.
  • Getting spray painted sucks.
  • Every school has a hatchet or two hanging around.
  • Never let an antisocial teenager sing the National Anthem.
  • Unamplified country music can muffle a gunshot.
  • Replica cannons are fully functional and deadly accurate.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 12 mins - Wait a minute, that corpse just killed two people then made a horrible pun.
  • 23 mins - Kid, you are one twisted little pup...
  • 27 mins - Acting!
  • 39 mins - Jed isn't talking about his testicle is he? (You'll have to watch the scene.)
  • 41 mins - There is no way Jed fought in World War II.
  • 50 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 58 mins - This just hit me, it's the Fourth of July and school is still in?
  • 69 mins - A cross-country sack rack?
  • 70 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SACK RACER!

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note unclesam1.wav Sally: "Jody stay away from the coffin, it's not something to play with."
Green Music Note unclesam2.wav Ralph: "We can't all be war heroes Jed."
Green Music Note unclesam3.wav Jed: "I suppose you found it quite amusing when that boy went up there and made mockery of the National Anthem. You're kind of humor."
Green Music Note unclesam4.wav Jody: "My Uncle Sam? But he's dead?"
Kid: "I never said he wasn't."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipunclesam1.mpg - 2.4m
This must be the longest and most violent sack race in the history of the world. It is the movie's saving grace.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3 4
Uncle Sam
Reply #9. Posted on January 06, 2000, 03:25:24 PM by reignsong@yahoo.com
I will have to agree with the majority here, this movie blew. What is good about this movie is that our dear cheffy (Issac Hayes) is in it, and a hotty with nice breasts and buttocks. What really sucks is one nude scene that is just a reflection nonetheless, also who the hell wants to watch a parade and a hitler youth star in a flick about nationalism. But I learned Uncle Sam really is an a***ole!
Uncle Sam
Reply #10. Posted on January 17, 2000, 09:46:12 PM by dtwhitney@yahoo.com
No, you are all wrong.  This movie was the funniest movie I have seen in a long time.  "Honey don't play with the coffin"  

The sack race is so classic... see this movie!
Uncle Sam
Reply #11. Posted on January 17, 2000, 09:53:03 PM by dcsking@yahoo.com
I realize you guys like to rip on this movie because of the bad acting and things like that, but I think if you look further into it you'll find it addresses some serious issues. My dad died from being run up a flagpole on the 4th of July by an undead gulf war veteran, and I'm glad someone finally had the guts to portray it in a movie.
Uncle Sam
Reply #12. Posted on February 09, 2000, 04:22:50 PM by gburningham@yahoo.com
Its easy to dismiss movies which are so viceral and so engrossing they are downright disturbing, i am afraid that is what has happened here.  Just because we are afraid of an 'uncle sam' who pursues draft dodgers, pot smokers, and peeping toms, doesnt mean we have the right to prentend such disturbing realities dont exist for some people.  Would i want to live in a world with an 'Uncle Sam'?  Certianly not, is uncle sam justified in killing kids who defile veterns graves and burn flags?  That is the question which the film presents and leaves the viewer to decide upon.
Uncle Sam
Reply #13. Posted on May 21, 2000, 09:15:15 PM by
I picked this movie up, not knowing if it was going to be any good since it is from A-Pix. But when I watched it, I thought "What the hell is this s**t?" The story was so weak, the acting was terrible, and Issac Hayes and Robert Forster (I think thats how you spell his last name) were wasted. Note: If you happen to rent this trash, at the point when they shoot Uncle Sam with the cannonball, you can see the cord pulling him through the air. Its as clear as day. Only rent it to see that part.
Uncle Sam
Reply #14. Posted on July 16, 2000, 06:31:00 AM by Mr. Mucus
In a word "s**t". This is for hard core B-horror movie fans only!! Even then, view at your own risk! Gawd, it was awful! The only slightly redeeming thing was the visible rope when Sam gets blasted. The kid burning his old army toys was the most disturbing thing about this crapfest. Why torch good action figures?? Li'l a$$ole!! How did Sam com back to life, anyway? He just did. Brilliant. Whoever made this flick should be beaten severly.
Uncle Sam
Reply #15. Posted on August 11, 2000, 05:01:24 PM by Kerri
I think the movie has a good taste of laughs.It was scary when I first seen it Sept.9,1999.Now it has become my favorite movie.I watch this movie more than any other movie in my house.And I also watch the movie to watch David Fralick cause he is so good lookin' for a dead guy.I say that William Lustig did a good job on directing this movie.
Uncle Sam
Reply #16. Posted on August 16, 2000, 02:42:09 AM by leo di
You guys are nuts! This movie is an all time classic. Sure there were some boring parts, but there were also some great actors in it that were fun to watch. Robert Forester, who was great in Jackie Brown, Isaac Hayes who is the man, and Jason Adelman whos been in a million things such as Moesha, the client, and has won all sorts of awards such as the sundance film festival award for must be the music. I dunno, maybe I have bad taste.
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