|Copyright 2000 Tana2000
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Christopher - Newest addition to a private bible school, he quickly learns that strange things are afoot.
- Rusty - Muscled, but devout young student. Turned into a doll.
- Billy - Class smart ass and not even the amusing sort, he is just annoying.
- Mike - How he made it to adulthood like this is beyond me, being a tattletale in college of all things. Turned into a doll.
- Sam - The voice of reason among the students.
- Paul - I don't know, he doesn't talk much. He ends up as a doll as well.
- Reverend Carmichael - He started a new religion, just try to imagine every quirky spiritual belief from California sprinkled with a healthy dose of Catholicism. Turned into a doll.
- Mrs. Bouvier - Financier of the Carmichael Bible College who has much darker goals than you would expect. Turned into a doll.
|Early in the film we watch what appears to be a seduction, some woman in a lacy outfit playing with her boy toy. Things look promising, but looks can be very deceiving. Shortly we embark on what the movie is actually about: young men in whitie-tighties (note: I'm winging the spelling, this one is not in the dictionary, but you know what I mean).
Okay, granted that they are wearing white boxer briefs, not the plain white briefs often referred to as "whitie-tighties."
Mrs. Bouvier and the Reverend have lured these innocent souls to their facility with one goal in mind, transform them into living voodoo dolls (think of a man's head on a straw body) for presentation to a dark power. After six such sacrifices the power will grant them an unstoppable army of the dead.
Sounds like a cool basis for a movie doesn't it? Sure it does. I now remind you, that is not what this movie is about. This movie is about young men in whitie-tighties.
Prepare to spend a lot of time watching people talk to each other, normally this is called "character development." Well, a total of nine people appear in this movie and after watching it twice I can only identify half. It goes without saying that we wasted a lot of time talking.
Finally Christopher catches on to the evil plan, though his classmates' brains are addled by the cursed wine and they don't believe him. Will Chris be able to stop the gratuitous underwear party and save the day? Of course, plus there is even a strange little homage to "The Wizard of Oz" near the end.
I didn't need to watch thirty minutes of young men, wearing only white boxer briefs, rubbing themselves. As a heterosexual male that just doesn't do it for me, though (obviously) others may have a different view of the material. Before you get up in arms about me labeling the film as homosexual erotica bear the following in mind: men touching themselves may not be innately gay behavior, but what about making it one quarter of your film?
Overall the camera work is not bad, though some scenes are very badly lit, so much that the film starts to look grainy. Candles were used for atmosphere, which is fine, you just have to add ambient light to avoid exactly what happened. What killed this film for me was all the talking and all the damn scenes of guys touching themselves. Would I have enjoyed the movie more if it was an all girls school? Sure, that is the way I'm wired.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- White socks do not go with dress slacks.
- God wants you to be Pat Boone.
- The Eleventh Commandment is "Thou shalt not lift weights."
- Young men often hang out in the bathroom, just talking in their towels (or less).
- All young men sleep in white boxer briefs and socks.
- Religion should not include rubber gloves.
- Popcorn kernels are an important part of voodoo rituals.
- Confessionals are an interactive experience.
- Washrooms are impregnable prisons.
- Crosses can be used as lock picks.
- 3 mins - Nooooo! Guy in white underwear!
- 12 mins - Black miniskirt suit, black hose, and a black choker. Your standard church mouse...
- 27 mins - Star Trek meets Catholicism.
- 40 mins - Little frozen corn on the cobs, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and biscuits. Kentucky Fried Chicken! I bet they really ate this after the shoot was over.
- 44 mins - Nooooo! Guys in white underwear touching themselves!
- 51 mins - No, not again. Cut that out!
- 60 mins - These people must spend a fortune on candles.
- 66 mins - He owned a set of camouflage pants?
- 70 mins - Stop touching yourself! One thousand Hail Marys, now get out!
- 76 mins - Why didn't this one require a ritual? Is water a catalyst?
- 78 mins - Nooooo! Nooooo! Why? Why me?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Bouvier: "The Carmichael Bible College is an experimental facility and we're still trying to work out the kinks, so to speak."
||Billy: "Sad, but true, we're all Pat Boone clones around here."
||Billy: "Come on, the word shit is not blasphemy. For Christ's sake!" |
Mike: "Well I tried; if you get tossed it's on you."
||Chris: "No, I'm not going to calm down all right? Something's going down here and I don't know what it is. Last night all five of you guys were tossing and turning and then Rusty got up and walked away in his underwear."
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|When Paul suddenly finds himself doused with wine and glowing like a Christmas tree we get one more chance to see a young man in a tub. Oh goody.
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Swamprat
Just saw this three days ago...my daughter rented it along with Pink Flamingoes and Xanadu...(She had to see Xanadu to see why I ranted about it so much it on this site.) Movies like Voodoo Acadamy are the inevitable down side of the straight-to-video boon. Like FM radio, and MTV, once the mainstreams sees a profit they jump in with both feet and turn everything to s**t. The straight-to-video was a place for the wannabes and the uninviteds. The clinkers were unintentionally bad. Half baked ideas, half baked budgets, highly creative, if not actually talented, writers, directors and actors. Just like the good old days of Roger Corman Bs and the old s**t factories like Monogram and American International. Its obvious by the production values of this film that pros were in on it. There was something of a budget here. These actors were working for money...Jack Nicholson and Bruce Dern used to work for Corman for free food and to hopefully steal some of the wardrobe after the shoot. The point I'm making is that these sort of straight-to-video movies are just like any other commercially fueled production line pieces of s**t. Like TV sitcoms and Brittany Spears...Phoney! Corman hustled studios and indepentant backers to get his films made. Shooting was done on the fly. Every scene dripped with a feeling of desparation. Voodoo Acadamy, like run-of-the-mill television programming, just lays there and moans in the background noise. Forget this piece of crap...go rent an Andy Sidaris straigt-to-video...or Sam Raimis earlier efforts. These guys were working in the true spirit of the Bs...
Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Jeff
I first saw this movie in the VHS version and was majorly disappointed. But when I found out that there was an unedited DVD version, I ran out to get a player; this time I wasn't disappointed! Sure, it's your standard low-budget horror flick but with a crucial difference: here, the guys are the objects of sexual attention/desire on the part of other characters (and, presumably, the viewer). Viewed in this light, it's a raucous good time, and any "straight" boy who feels uncomfortable watching this movie has more to worry about than a few absurd plot twists . . .
Reply #27. Posted on May 15, 2003, 04:34:31 PM by Marcus Aurelius
Huntley Ritter is a dream, but he needs to not turn into a steroidy looking dude if he wants serious roles in Showbiz!-
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by marsthalia
The guy in the MPEG video (Paul) is Drew Fuller, the new member of the cast of CHARMED (alysa milano, holly marie combs, rose mcgowan). The first apparece in Charmed was in the last episode of last season (Oh my goddes)http://us.aboutcharmed.com/news.php?article=315
Can you make another video of Drew from this movie?
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Carl
This movie is cheesy, of course, but it's SEXY! Some of those guys are really yummy :)
Reply #30. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Sam
I love it! This movie is soooo campy and I'm sure that when these actors saw the script they probably wondered whatever possessed them to think of doing what probably looked like a big fat turkey on paper when they read the script, but you have to understand that they "knew" that the movie would be bad unless they over acted with monotone voices in such characters as the Wanna-Be Ron Hubbard in the form of the Reverand Carmichel. The Reverands side-kick plays three characters in the film: The virginal head of the college, the whore of the college, and a female Satan, and in each character she succeeds because she looks different when playing each character. This is also Gay-Camp. Good example is when Christopher is introduced to Billy and Billy says [seductively] Hi! Crisco and then Christopher corrects him and Billy says "I was just trying to get under your skin!" Then at the dinner table Billy in a Gay type of character says "Soooo, we're gonna get trashed!" And later when he tries to take Christophers wine, Mrs. B. slaps his hand and the slap shows that what they're doing is making fun of the whole project but at the same time making fun of themselves. So, why does Mrs. B. try to seduce the young men? To find out if they're virginal and they figure who would be better for their experiment than young Gay-Virginal-Guys! She proves their Virgins and it's off to the Wonderful Wizard of Voo-Doo Dolls in the attic! There's just too much going on in this film to give a good description of it because it's really meant for the Gay Crowd who would find it a hoot! I know I did! Pure Entertainment at its best!
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Senisi
I thought the touching scenes were "okay" I like the one by Drew Fuller the best. He's the only guy I know who can do that and somehow still manage to look good. As for how bad the movie is I've seen worse. I doubt this is the best voodoo movie out there. But they did try there best. Drew Fuller did pretty good for this being his 1st movie. I wouldn't recommend seeing this unless you really like him (That's the only reason I saw it!)
|Re: Voodoo Academy
Posted on March 09, 2007, 02:37:40 AM by fortunato
The debate on blasphemy and the "No, I'm not going to calm down..." soundbytes have made me laugh for days, even in the middle of a work shift. I think my coworkers think I've really lost it this time.
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