|Copyright 2000 Tana2000
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Christopher - Newest addition to a private bible school, he quickly learns that strange things are afoot.
- Rusty - Muscled, but devout young student. Turned into a doll.
- Billy - Class smart ass and not even the amusing sort, he is just annoying.
- Mike - How he made it to adulthood like this is beyond me, being a tattletale in college of all things. Turned into a doll.
- Sam - The voice of reason among the students.
- Paul - I don't know, he doesn't talk much. He ends up as a doll as well.
- Reverend Carmichael - He started a new religion, just try to imagine every quirky spiritual belief from California sprinkled with a healthy dose of Catholicism. Turned into a doll.
- Mrs. Bouvier - Financier of the Carmichael Bible College who has much darker goals than you would expect. Turned into a doll.
|Early in the film we watch what appears to be a seduction, some woman in a lacy outfit playing with her boy toy. Things look promising, but looks can be very deceiving. Shortly we embark on what the movie is actually about: young men in whitie-tighties (note: I'm winging the spelling, this one is not in the dictionary, but you know what I mean).
Okay, granted that they are wearing white boxer briefs, not the plain white briefs often referred to as "whitie-tighties."
Mrs. Bouvier and the Reverend have lured these innocent souls to their facility with one goal in mind, transform them into living voodoo dolls (think of a man's head on a straw body) for presentation to a dark power. After six such sacrifices the power will grant them an unstoppable army of the dead.
Sounds like a cool basis for a movie doesn't it? Sure it does. I now remind you, that is not what this movie is about. This movie is about young men in whitie-tighties.
Prepare to spend a lot of time watching people talk to each other, normally this is called "character development." Well, a total of nine people appear in this movie and after watching it twice I can only identify half. It goes without saying that we wasted a lot of time talking.
Finally Christopher catches on to the evil plan, though his classmates' brains are addled by the cursed wine and they don't believe him. Will Chris be able to stop the gratuitous underwear party and save the day? Of course, plus there is even a strange little homage to "The Wizard of Oz" near the end.
I didn't need to watch thirty minutes of young men, wearing only white boxer briefs, rubbing themselves. As a heterosexual male that just doesn't do it for me, though (obviously) others may have a different view of the material. Before you get up in arms about me labeling the film as homosexual erotica bear the following in mind: men touching themselves may not be innately gay behavior, but what about making it one quarter of your film?
Overall the camera work is not bad, though some scenes are very badly lit, so much that the film starts to look grainy. Candles were used for atmosphere, which is fine, you just have to add ambient light to avoid exactly what happened. What killed this film for me was all the talking and all the damn scenes of guys touching themselves. Would I have enjoyed the movie more if it was an all girls school? Sure, that is the way I'm wired.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- White socks do not go with dress slacks.
- God wants you to be Pat Boone.
- The Eleventh Commandment is "Thou shalt not lift weights."
- Young men often hang out in the bathroom, just talking in their towels (or less).
- All young men sleep in white boxer briefs and socks.
- Religion should not include rubber gloves.
- Popcorn kernels are an important part of voodoo rituals.
- Confessionals are an interactive experience.
- Washrooms are impregnable prisons.
- Crosses can be used as lock picks.
- 3 mins - Nooooo! Guy in white underwear!
- 12 mins - Black miniskirt suit, black hose, and a black choker. Your standard church mouse...
- 27 mins - Star Trek meets Catholicism.
- 40 mins - Little frozen corn on the cobs, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and biscuits. Kentucky Fried Chicken! I bet they really ate this after the shoot was over.
- 44 mins - Nooooo! Guys in white underwear touching themselves!
- 51 mins - No, not again. Cut that out!
- 60 mins - These people must spend a fortune on candles.
- 66 mins - He owned a set of camouflage pants?
- 70 mins - Stop touching yourself! One thousand Hail Marys, now get out!
- 76 mins - Why didn't this one require a ritual? Is water a catalyst?
- 78 mins - Nooooo! Nooooo! Why? Why me?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Bouvier: "The Carmichael Bible College is an experimental facility and we're still trying to work out the kinks, so to speak."
||Billy: "Sad, but true, we're all Pat Boone clones around here."
||Billy: "Come on, the word shit is not blasphemy. For Christ's sake!" |
Mike: "Well I tried; if you get tossed it's on you."
||Chris: "No, I'm not going to calm down all right? Something's going down here and I don't know what it is. Last night all five of you guys were tossing and turning and then Rusty got up and walked away in his underwear."
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|When Paul suddenly finds himself doused with wine and glowing like a Christmas tree we get one more chance to see a young man in a tub. Oh goody.
| ||Leave a comment||EXTRAS||Buy the movie|| |
Reply #9. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by rose
it was an awful movie...but damn!
those guys were hot and the whole gay thing?
mmmm...major turn on
my only real complaint?
why couldn't the voodoo wine
have made them all horny and touchy feely
with each other?
Reply #10. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Jacob
OK. It wasn't the best film ever, but who can really pass up a chance to see that god Huntley Ritter scantly clad in an all boy's school? Not me. If you like the boy in Bring It On, you've got another thing coming when you see this one.
Reply #11. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by rays
Riley Smith (Star of Voodoo Academy) also has a small walk-on role in Bring It On,
Also- check out The Brotherhood also by David DeCoteau.
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Nicole
i watched this movie yesterday. o my......there were a lot of hott guys like Rusty but the movie was awful!! it was very....i can't really explain it cause my brain has been acting up cause of that movie. all i can really say is this movie must of had a low budget and a director that can pick the hottest guys on the world to come in this movie and get touchy and feely with themselves. the movie was kinda wierd in one sense. only 6 kids in the school?? come on be realalistic. the movie was pretty bad. maybe it's only cause i watched the VHS version of it. but it was totally bad except for RUSTY the HOTT guy!!!!!! and the other guys.
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by cyanide
"Sounds like a cool basis for a movie doesn't it? Sure it does. I now remind you, that is not what this movie is about. This movie is about young men in whitie-tighties."
ROFL.. this is the funniest review of them all :)
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Blair
Oh my god ya'll! I just saw this movie and I was rollin' on the floor. That whole undweare thing just killed me and the way the new guy, Christopher, was looking at them while they writhed in ecstasy was just too much.
Now about the homoerotica thing, well, when a priest in latex gloves goes rubbing up on some young stud, I'd say that's pretty homoerotic.
Reply #15. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Blair
Oh my god, look how I can't even spell. I think it's underwear overload. Oh well, I guess the old commercial was true...Hanes makes you feel good all under.
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Robert
I rented this DVD thinking "cool another warlock movie".
"Voodoo Academy seems like a place were u would learn Voodoo but no i was way wrong. But when I watched it i almost s**t my self. My jaw dropped these boys were rubbing themselves when they were half naked. The effects, music, and filming was cheesy. If i watch this movie again i just rewind through the rubbing part. I would give it a 4.
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